have you ever felt lonely for no reason? how do you get over that?

@LittleMel (14036)
Canada
August 2, 2007 6:13pm CST
it's been 3 days I feel this way. We have just finished a lot of new projects last month and now starting a new one at home. In the midst of all this somehow I feel lonely and I don't know why. Maybe I should call up some old friends and my mom back home, see how everybody's doing. most people are going on vacation these days, maybe I should do this after the new project is finished. Maybe I should just drop this new project and lay down lazy under the sun, like everybody else enjoying summer. Maybe, maybe not. what about you? have you felt this way before? how do you get over it?
3 people like this
26 responses
@suspenseful (40314)
• Canada
5 Aug 07
I get lonely sometimes. It is just me and my husband, the empty nest syndrome. I want to get out and I do go for walks, but I do not drive, so it is up to my husband to drive me over to see my older son and his wife and the baby. We were going to have them over today, but it is their first anniversary and they have other plans. I should write to my brother, but I am not good at penmanship. I usually just wait until it passes, and it does not depend on company. I can be lonely in a crowd. I consider it just a phrase.
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
me too, not good at penmanship. these days tlking on the phone works better, which is odd since I used to do better in writing
• United States
5 Aug 07
Why run from it? Why not embrace it? We're so hung up on always feeling good -- and that isn't healthy. Life is meant to take us not only on the high roads but on the low roads too. How do we learn from the low times if we avoid them like the plague? Pick up any good novel and it will contain both happiness and trauma, good times and bad. That's what makes it a good novel. If it only contained happy, high times, it would be boring indeed. We love watching the characters solve life's problems and survive the low times. It's an indication that we know we will experience the same and need to learn to survive them too. When I'm lonely, I burrow right into it, making it more vivid and then let it explain itself to me. Usually, there is a very good reason, even though it does not seem apparent at first. One method that works for me is to make my mind very still and ask myself: when was the first time I felt this way? Usually, something pops right up which surprises me. It could be from when I was eight and all my friends got to go somewhere I couldn't go. It could be because someone moved away or someone else got a new friend and I missed them. When we think there is no reason, it's usually as simple as we are not seeing the reason, that current events triggered a long buried memory. It's nice when we can pull that memory out and examine it in a new light. We know now that the other person missed us too or that they really wished we could have been there with them or some such. But we didn't know that at the time of the original memory. So now we can marry the two memories and the lonliness disappears forever.
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
I know now why I get lonely. It's like being kept behind walls to complete never ending projects, it sucks
@KATRINKA (1658)
• United States
4 Aug 07
It sounds like you need a break. Reconnect with family and friends and relax. Have you taken a vacation? I hope things perk up for you.
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
4 Aug 07
my best friend just called. I'm so happy to hear her voice and stories. then I return to the projects. I guess until it all finished I can't take a break
@KATRINKA (1658)
• United States
4 Aug 07
I'm so glad you were able to reconnect with your friend. Glad your mood has lifted. I hope you will take some time off when all your projects are finished. You really need it.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
4 Aug 07
thanks my friend. yes I need it. I think it will all be done within 2 weeks. we've done a lot and we both need rest.
@speakeasy (4215)
• United States
3 Aug 07
Yes; but, not for long. When I start to feel lonely, I put on some good music and go online to places like this. I write articles/discussion and/or get involved in other peoples problems and then I don't feel lonely anymore. (The music is a big help too. You can't feel lonely when you have a good song going and you are singing along!)
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
I'll turn on the radio when we're working. I have a collection of instrumental songs but these days they don't help much
@speakeasy (4215)
• United States
3 Aug 07
Personally, instrumental doesn't "do it" for me when I want to get into a good happy mood. I need something with a good beat amd good lyrics. Something I can hum or sing along with. That is what helps make me less lonely. (I work in an office all by myself except for an occasional customer dropping by; so sometimes the radio is my best friend!)
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
instrumental makes me sleepy LOL and no it doesn't help take away loneliness, boredom or anything alike
@aribaba (368)
• Indonesia
3 Aug 07
Sometimes, usually happen when I am not in a good mood and suddenly my mind is just blank. I don't know why but that's make me feel so alone... and lonely.
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
so bad mood can make you feel lonely? I never think of that. but right now my mood is OK
@aribaba (368)
• Indonesia
3 Aug 07
Sometimes, because bad mood sometimes lead me to the feelings that there's no one care about or stand with me.
1 person likes this
@zabawaus (1732)
• United States
2 Aug 07
You know what ? Sometimes feeling a lone is great gift given. I mostly feel i am so desperate to feel a lone. If you feel sometimes that u r a lone take it as a gift. the bigest gift in life leave people by them selves so that they can see what they ar or not. I hope i explained myself.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
2 Aug 07
I like to be alone sometimes, but that's because I'm tired of too much socializing and want time for myself. we have been continuously busy so I really don't understand what makes me feel lonely out of the sudden. maybe it's not even lonely, but more of boredom.
1 person likes this
@zabawaus (1732)
• United States
2 Aug 07
I got you. And this is what i believe. .Every ship is hang from his leg. We are already alone when we came to this. f....ing world.Keep people around you to make you happy but at the end you are by yourself with your decisions . Get ready to this idea. At the end we will be under this dark soil.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
8 Aug 07
I feel lonely most of the time, because I am alone while my husband goes to work. But I am used to the lonely surroundings and I don't feel it makes me pressured or anything. i like doing mylot and it helps me in many ways. When I feel too bored, I will call my mother or a friend and we will chat. During weekends my husband and I often go out to enjoy so my life is always rejuvenated and not the same old boring stuff day by day.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
8 Aug 07
we go out in the weekends too but mostly because we have to get some things for the projects. It's like never ending cycle and it starts to get on my nerves now
@estherlou (5017)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Finishing something is an ending of sorts, and you for a time, will feel a little lost until you begin something new. It's pretty normal. It's like saying goodbye to something in your life and all of a sudden you don't know what to do with the hole it leaves by being gone. Just don't dwell on the weird feelings and stew about it. It will pass.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
I hope it will soon. the project is scheduled to be completed in 2 weeks, hopefully this will happen and I can break free
@RAPAZ68 (186)
5 Aug 07
I never feel lonely and I am always busy, may be this is the explanation
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
we are busy too but I still feel it
• United States
5 Aug 07
sometimes I do but the best cure for loneliness is to get busy..
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
I agree with you in that one
@gwendovere (1283)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I have felt lonely before. But I've gotten a lot stronger within myself. I no longer need others to make me happy. I can be by myself for many hours & be perfectly happy. I hope you can find this inner peace & happiness as well.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
I don't mind being alone when I want to. but these days I feel like being kept in one place just for the sake of completing projects that keep coming
@ricknkae (1726)
• United States
3 Aug 07
I try to keep myself busy so I wont't think abou t it too much You were so busy you got used not to have time of your own Maybe it could be a great time to pamper yourself ... have a long bath ... go to the beauty saloon ... shop for clothes ;) ... and get friends out with you ... it will get better
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
yes life is not only work, I need a hair cut anyway
• Philippines
3 Aug 07
yeah i get lonely sometimes without any reason at all.there are times when on my way to work i really feel so depress..i think its just normal,just a pms thing..what i usually do is i buy lots of chocolates..and i talked to my friends..it helps!
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
I know if it's close to my period then mood swings etc, but this time it's not even my period
• Malaysia
3 Aug 07
yup, there are times when i feel that way. when i do, i just feel like crying my hearts out or go for a retail therapy. but since i'm broke, that's not an option at the moment :P i usually like to talk to an understand friend if i am feeling really down and lonely. getting my mind off things that are bothering me by logging onto mylot also helps, in a way. just try to keep myself busy so that i wouldn't feel that loneliness that surrounds me .
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
these days most of my friends here are busy so logging into mylot doesn't help as much as it used to
• United States
3 Aug 07
Yes i do because i have to work all the time i have no free time and i love my children with all my heart but u know i feel like i need a break at some point and all and i mean i would like to go out one day or hang out or just relax but i always have something to do and all and i never have me time or time with friends. everyoccasion they might drop by but you know i am still busy with my kids thay are young and i dont regret having them i feel bad at times but you know how it is like you probally have to make money and i wouldnt drop it because yo might need it try to knock off early one day and do something for yourself during the week whatever it is relaxing hanging out or shopping. i mean whatever and all that moight you feel better its like you see other people do it but dont unless you dont need it but if you committed to it finish it take a break afterw ards or like i said get off aliitle early and make sure you get some me time. but that is a good thing but when you finish if you dont feel better then go ahead take a break and go on vacation.
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
it's been a while since I took a vacation. I take a break now and then, a day off here and there but not a two-week full vacation. I think I should.
@teleios (738)
• Philippines
3 Aug 07
haha i have those days, makes you wonder if something's wrong again. but now i think its mostly a case of hormones, or simply missing a few things that we have gotten used to. when i was with my family for a few days and we had a lot of fun eating out or in, having get-togethers almost everynight, i came crashing back into a semi-depressive funk the moment it all ended. but we usually get over it right?
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
oh yes since I got married my world just turns upside down, always running around somewhere to do something meet someone etc my time alone is very little, but this is why I wonder why I feel lonely when I supposed to feel exhausted
• South Korea
3 Aug 07
Maybe what you are feeling is really that you are not fulfilled in your job. Do you like doing these projects? Do you feel this way only while doing these projects? Or does it have more to do with being out of contact with your loved ones? Either way, I feel life is too short to not take time out for some enrichment. Take a break! Hopefully these feelings are not more deeply-rooted.
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
I think I'm also tired. Tired of too many things to do, continuously one thing after another. It's summer time I really want to go out there, so I'll have to do it this weekend
@nandans (1161)
• India
3 Aug 07
I feel lonely from time to time.. I generally sit in front of my pc and surf the net or watch tv or talk to someone on phone..
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
well sometimes I do that and it helps but now I think it's more than loneliness
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
3 Aug 07
I feel that way too sometimes.But the only way to get over is to find some hobbies you's like to do.Me, when i feel that way,i usually find myself going to the movie,calling old friends and have some fun in the bar like music trip.After that, i feel fine and okay.
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
that's what I'm thinking to do. after reading the response above, I think it might not be loneliness at all
• Canada
3 Aug 07
LittleMel, It sounds to me like you might not be lonely at all. Maybe you just feel like you're supposed to be DOING SOMETHING, that's all. If you have a hectic lifestyle, then at times when you have lulls in activity, maybe you're mistaking the lack of action for 'lonely' feelings. Often, society tells us, too, that we always have to be busy, busy, busy. Workplaces put pressure on us, families and friends sometimes pressure us to 'do more,' without saying exactly what 'more' is to them. Maybe you're just supposed to recuperate, enjoy this lull in activity and enjoy being with yourself during a quiet time. Social activity is ALSO OVER-RATED. As long as you don't feel depressed or are having 'scary thoughts' to accompany what you think are 'lonely' feelings, go ahead and just be alone - and ENJOY THE QUIET! You don't seem unduly 'distressed' - just kind of confused. Maybe you're just slightly on eggshells, waiting for someone to give you enough tasks to do that you feel VERY BUSY or actually stressed by some work load, activity load or whatever. This could be your chance to have a healthy break from DOING TOO MUCH. Just suggestions...
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14036)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
I read this again and again and I start to think you're right. sometimes I like to be alone and sometimes I go chatting with everyone even in their busiest hours. you know, we used to complete our projects together, but this new project my hubby prefers he does most of it and my turn will come when he is done. I can't stand waiting, it's exciting new project for our home but also risky. maybe it's better to lay low and not rush into things this time. good advise. Thanks!