Get this question my friend asked me!!

@sunshine4 (8707)
United States
September 14, 2007 9:11am CST
My friend stopped by the other day and we were discussing weight. I told her that I have gained about 15 pounds since last summer. She then said to me...."Do you consider yourself obese". I couldn't believe she said that! Ok, I weigh 147 and am 5 ft 4 in. I wear size 8/10 jeans. I didn't know what to think when she asked me that! I said, "NO! I think I could stand to loose the 15 pounds but I definitely would not consider myself obese." Can you believe it! What would you think if someone asked you that question and how would you react.
4 people like this
22 responses
@Grandmaof2 (7603)
• Canada
15 Sep 07
Well knowing me like I know me, I would have probably said, "Do you consider yourself to be ignorant ?" and leave it there till she answered the question. I personally think that was an ignorant question. For one thing thinking about this we all know when someone is obese compared to someone who could MAYBE loose 15 pounds. Besides who gives a rip how heavy the next person is anyway This should not be a test in friendship and definately nothing you have to answer on a resume. Take care my friend and what's 15 pounds ? hehehe
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
Thanks grandma, that was the greatest comeback I have heard LOL! I will use it next time she askes me such a question.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (113530)
• United States
16 Sep 07
That response really gave me a good laugh as well. I have at least one friend I could picture using it in a conversation.
@sandwedge (1341)
• Malaysia
15 Sep 07
for asking that question you should jump at them, snarl and pull their hair out while foaming at the mouth.
2 people like this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
Interesting thought.
• United States
15 Sep 07
What would i think? I would probably be really offended. And i'd probably end up telling someone off. I normally dont talk about weight with other people. Its a very touchy subject. Next time nip that kinda remark in the butt by saying something like she said to you. Is your friend always insensitive like this? Maybe she didnt realize how it sounded.
2 people like this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
I'm sure that she didn't give it another thought. NOw it is in the back of my mind. When I forget about it, I end up with some other friend who knows and they joke around about it.
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
15 Sep 07
OMG--- what a friend that is- but you know they say you can ask your true friends anything. But obese?? You don’t sound that out of shape or over weight to me- I have a great friend who is obese- and I wouldn’t even ask her- I know the answer- yes she does- so I would never make her feel bad- She did just have gastric bypass surgery- and she is doing great- I supported her decision- Is your friend over weight at all?
2 people like this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
This 'friend' of mine is the same height and weighs about 15 pounds more than I do. She was so funny~ but I was very insulted! She said something about if your ankle bone doesn't stick out you are obese. I then showed her my ankle bones...tada! they are still there so I must not be obese.
@laurika (4536)
• United States
12 Oct 07
I hope nobody would say that since I am 5ft 7in and I weight 115 pounds, so I am pretty skinny.But yeah if somebody would tell me something like that, it would hurt me.But I would probably think about it if I am really happy with it how I look or not.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
12 Oct 07
Boy, you are skinny. I don't think that I am obese at all~ I think of obese as someone who weighs over 200 pounds and can't get out of bed or has a hard time walking.
@laurika (4536)
• United States
13 Oct 07
Well it depend on you how you feel.I mean if you are happy with youself don't care about others, the most important person is you.You are number 1 and nobody else.
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
20 Sep 07
Well, if she were to see me, she would think I am morbidly obese, which I probably am hahahha! Don't sweat her. At 147 and 5 ft 4, you are totally not obese in any sense of the word hahahha! She should be careful with her choice of words next time. I would be offended to.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
20 Sep 07
That is what all of our friends are saying....If she thinks you are obese, what do you think she is saying about me? Now I am up to the point to laugh it off, but yes, I was offended that day.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
20 Sep 07
I think your doing the right thing by blowing it off. Life is too short to let little things like that tick you off hahaha! But I wouldn't help but be a little offended myself. It was very pompous of her to say something like that.
1 person likes this
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
14 Sep 07
i cant believe she actually said that,you dont sound overweight at all,i would feel really hurt if someone said that to me too,because us women get very self concious about our weight and thats one thing you dont make remarks about to your friends.i think she is just jealous of you and had no one to say that too.size 8/10 is great,you go girl.i'm a mom of 3,and im thankful that i still fit in my sizes 3/4 and 5/6.but not everyone is the same.take care hon.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Well I have 4 children and feel that I look good for having 4kids. She is actually bigger than I am so it was a very strange question. Oh well~ at least I am not really obese.
• United States
14 Sep 07
thats great for having 4 kids and still are small,keep up the great work.
@kylina (178)
14 Sep 07
me, personally, in would answer truthfully but i won't be offended or anything by it. i think she might just be trying to cheer you up, maybe she thinks that you consider yourself obese and was planning to go on a tirade about how you shouldn't feel obese. *shrugs* i did it with a friend of mine as well anyways, asked her if she thinks that she herself is obese then went on a tirade that she shouldn't consider herself obese.
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Kind of like reverse psychology, hun?
@kylina (178)
14 Sep 07
yes, i suppose.
@soleya (1102)
• Latvia
27 Sep 07
Actually I really have a weight problem and it is more because of my "friends" always were telling me to start doing something about my body. All this resulted in me gaining 30 pounds and now I weight 160 and I am 5 ft 6 in. I really hate when somebody says or even makes me feel that I am fat, as I can do nothing about it. I tried so hard a lot of times, but failed and now I just can't find power to start it over again.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
27 Sep 07
I think it is much harder to get motivated if your friends are telling you you have a weight problem. It is something you have to do for yourself.
• United States
20 Sep 07
Hmmm.. that's an odd thing that she said to you. I don't think you sound too heavy at all. I can't even think of a smart comeback to that question- I probably would have just sat there with my jaw dropped open!
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
20 Sep 07
That's about what I did. Then I was like, well, I never in my life considered myself obese.
@mouse27 (1155)
• Canada
16 Sep 07
i don't know how i would react i know if one of my friends told me they gained 15 pounds i'd ask them to give it to me i 5 ft nothing and i only weigh 95 lbs i would love to gain weight but i can't i've tried everything and i just can't do it. maybe your friend was asking if you thought you were obese because some people are a little touchy when they gain weight if you know what i mean maybe she was worried that if you thought you were obese that you would try to lose more then just the 15 that you put on or maybe she figured that you shouldn't worry too much about the 15 pounds because maybe she thinks that it makes you look healthier. noone can tell you what she was thinking when she asked you that question only she can so my advice to you is ask her why she would even think that you would think that you were obese. i'm sure she will tell you
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
That is so true. No one knows the reason behind her asking me that question. Thanks.
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
15 Sep 07
That is so rude!! I don't think you would be obese based on what you said you weigh!! That is terrible, I would have felt terrible if someone ever said anything like that to me. I think you responded well, better than I would have, I probably would have just gotten up, went to the bathroom and cried!! That is a mean and insensitive thing to say to someone!
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
It still gets me every time I think about it. I know that I am not obese. If I weighed over 200, then I would say, yes, I am obese.
@GardenGerty (113530)
• United States
15 Sep 07
I would wonder why she asked that question. Maybe she is trying to get a handle on what other people consider to be obese. She cannot decide for herself how she feels about her weight. Maybe, since you are the smallest in your group, she was wondering how you viewed her weight. It could be that she thought that you should not focus on your weight so much. I think I would love to be in your shoes, size and weight wise. The last time I was in that small a size, I was dangerously ill. Maybe your friend is jealous of your size.
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
Thanks for your comment. It might be what she was thinking.
@cipher2004 (1183)
• United States
15 Sep 07
I am 5ft 4in.Also I used to weigh 117 2 years ago.Since then I gained and now weigh around 130.When I run into old friends I get stupid comments like that also."wow you have gained weight"and so on.I ignore it.I am 44 and feel great.It seems that the people who comment about my weight seem to have picked up a few pounds also.Maybe this is their way of making themselves feel better.The person must have a complex against theirselves.It seems most people who put down other do.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
I do think that you are right. I know that she is always making comments about my daughters weight and my daughter is only 7 yrs old.
@cher913 (25865)
• Canada
14 Sep 07
are you kidding? whats up with that? i think i would have asked her if she was... i hate to say it tho, i dont think i could have come up with a snappy comeback right then and there either! (you are thinner than me...i take a size 12 jeans! and i dont consider myself obese...maybe she should look up the word in the dictionary??!!)
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
Well she takes a size 14 jeans. She once came over and I offered to lend her a swimsuit to go in the hot tub and nothing I had would fit her. I wish I would have come up with a good comeback on that question.
@Stiletto (4584)
14 Sep 07
Well to be fair to your friend she didn't say "don't you think you are obese?" or anything like that. Now THAT would really provoke a bad reaction in me at least lol! It's a fairly odd question to ask someone whether they actually are or not - and at 15 pounds over your usual weight it certainly sounds like you're not. Some people just open their mouths before they engage their brains. I don't think what she said would upset me - I think I would just think it was an odd question.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
16 Sep 07
Thanks for your comment. It was a very odd comment.
@meanangel (167)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Does your friend know what obese means? I would have been nasty and said: No are you? Cause were the same size. A little hateful but if you go by the height and weight charts your only about 7 pounds over if that. So loosing weight would only be to make yourself happy not because you are obese. A persons weight should not concern others. That is something personal. Until she lives in your skin she should keep her mouth shut. I think you need to ask yourself what kind of friend she is and wether it is worth staying friends. If she says that to your face think about what she is saying behind your back. If this is out of line just tell me to stick it and I won't post again on your questions.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
14 Sep 07
No, I won't be telling you to stick it. You are right, I wonder what she is saying behind my back~ yikes! The funny thing is she is about 15 pounds or more heavier than I am and I wouldn't even call her obese.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
14 Sep 07
I can't believe she would ask that. I would never ask even my best friend a question like that. How far over weight to be considered obese? When I think of obese I think of like 300 or 400 lbs. As far as my weight goes..after 3 kids, one of which I just gave birth to 7 weeks ago, and being a stay at home mom, I am 5'7" and weigh 200 lbs. Everyone tells me I'm not as bad as i think I look, but in pictures I can't believe its me. My goal is to get down to 150, but I'd be happy atleast getting under 175. Ok sorry, went off tract a little. If my friend said that to me I probably would have had the same reaction that you did. Though in the back of my head I would be worrying about my size if my friend actually thought i looked obese. Your friend was off base though. You don't sound anywhere near obese. Heck I dont know too many people who fit into an 8/10 so way to go!
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
14 Sep 07
We both hang out with a bunch of other ladies who are all bigger than I am. I told them all about it and they couldn't believe it either. I saw her later that same night and asked her if she thought I looked fat still...she didn't even answer me.
• United States
14 Sep 07
Hiya Sunshine, Nah I dont think I would be upset. Im a bit overweight, and Im comfortable in my skin. My husband finds me attractive, I can find trendy fashionable clothes to fit me, and my friends have never told me Im fat or obese! lol I dont think they would do that. Maybe you dont have the right kind of friends, I will share mine with you, and they will tell you that you look gorgeous no matter what! ;) Ok, I guess I can understand your shock. Since my friends would never do that, I have to think a moment as if one of them had......Nope still cant imagine it, they just wouldnt do that! You should have asked her, "Do you think your obese"....lol Bay xx
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
14 Sep 07
You are right I should have asked her that right back at her. Sometimes I wonder why I keep her as a friend~ I'd love to have your friends:)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Well the next time you see her, ask her if shes feeling fat! lol Tell her she looks a little swollen, is she going to see a doctor for that? lol You have your reasons for keeping her as a friend. I know what you mean. I have one friend that I often wonder the same thing. She may not tell me I look fat or ask me if Im feeling fat but she does other things that I just dont understand. There is something you like about her, something you connect with. Its all good!! :) Bay xx
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
14 Sep 07
LOL Bay~ that is such a good response! I just might take you up on that one. I will be seeing her next weekend. Maybe after a few cocktails I will bring myself to asking her.
• Canada
12 Oct 07
Hi Sunshine, Wow! Some people can just be so rude. I can't believe she just came right out and asked you that. I know that pretty much all women are insecure or sensitive about their weight so their is NO way I would have asked. I was always told their are 3 questions you never ask a women ... 1) Her Weight 2) Her Age 3) If That's Her Real Hair Colour. ~*~ PurpleTeddyBear. ~*~
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
12 Oct 07
LOL~ I think that is some good advice you have gotten PurpleTeddyBear!
1 person likes this
• Canada
13 Oct 07
Me too!