What Makes A Person's Character...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
September 23, 2007 6:19am CST
How well do you assume to know other members? Do you think by reading their discussions and responses you know their character?
For me, other than the 1 or 2 members that I know personally in real life, most of the members on MyLot are complete mysteries to me. I get little tiny glances of their personality from time to time but never enough to know who they really are.
I've run across ppl that assume to know me, what I feel, think, believe in and stand up for. All based on words typed on a screen. The truth is that my Mom, who's known me my entire life, is still surprised by things she didn't know about me.
I notice alot of ppl tend to label other members especially when there is a difference of opinion.
Do you label and judge ppl based on what you think their character is? Do you get upset or angry if you feel someone hasn't lived up to your assessment of their character? Are you quick to label someone when they disagree with you? How well do you feel you know other ppl?
How well do you know me? What character assessments have you made about me since knowing me on MyLot? What do you base those assessments on?
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
9 people like this
33 responses
@Destiny007 (5805)
• United States
23 Sep 07
You can tell a lot about people by what say on here.
At the very least you can get an idea of their overall attitude and outlook on life and other people in general.
While it is true that you can only go by what they say here, even whether they are being completely honest or not, there is still an underlying part of them that causes them to say the things they say...and that affords us another glimpse as to what they are all about.
We make judgments all the time based on what we read and the responses that we get, and we do that without realizing it. That is a part of human nature.
As far as labeling people, we do that all the time too...although some are loath to admit it.
As far as knowing other people...we never completely do, regardless of the relatonship.
I know you better than anyone else on myLot....and we will just leave it at that.
3 people like this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
23 Sep 07
The only assessments I can make about you are that you are strong in your faith and are a thoughtful person. It is really not possible to know someones character from what they write on here. Even when you know people well in the real world they may put on differetn characters for different people. I only get upset and angry if I know them in real life and they turn out to be two faced.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
24 Sep 07
I know what you mean...I tend to take betrayal by a friend that I know personally much more harder than someone online. I think we are all able to form a general impression of a person, whether they are good or bad, but I really don't think anyone can really know someone else simply from a discussion board. Maybe I'm wrong...who knows.
Thank you for Responding!!
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
23 Sep 07
I would base character on values, beliefs and actions. It is really difficult to get a full picture of someone over the Internet. Trust has to be a big part of believing people. I guess I know some others on here from reading their discussions, but really not well enough to form a firm picture of their overall character. So, unless given a reason, I assume the best of all people on here. I don't have any expections and can accept most people on an "as is" basis, simply because I am not in a position to judge anyone. I really don't care to judge anyone.
2 people like this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
24 Sep 07
I tend to give ppl the benefit of doubt but I'm also more cautious of ppl then most. I also have major issues with trusting ppl...especially ppl that I don't know personally.
Thank you for Responding!!
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Sep 07
I do not base a person's character on what they write. I know there are somethings that I would not talk about and I know that people try to get along with everybody and if someone talks about how much they keep their house clean, the other person will say that they do, even though they do not. You do not want others to hate you.
There are some negative things about our real character and there are reasons for this negativity, so we keep quiet about that. For instance, bigotry. I can say that someone can say he does not like rabbits because they eat all the lettuce, people will understand that, but if he says he does not like Indians because there was a family on his block who had wild drunken parties, no one will understand and really call him horrible names and for that reason he keeps quiet about that for fear of being hated. So, in essence, we show only parts of our character. As for what makes up our character, it is how we were raised, the experiences we went through, and our general personality.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
23 Sep 07
I believe that you can definitely get to know a person on Mylot. Have you ever heard the saying, "Judge a man by his questions and not his answers?" The Bible also says, By their fruits you shall know them.
The way I see it is that you have to see the over-all person and not just focus on a few different incidents. I accept people for who they are and love them in spite of anything in particular about them. This is the way I would want people to be with me.
The Bible says, "Men look on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart." I am more interested in what God thinks of me, than anyone else. But, like every other human being, sometimes my pride gets in the way and I try to come across to be more than I am.
People can only judge you to the extent of their knowledge about you and about life itself. That is why it is so important for us all to work on not caring what other people think or even say about us.
I always ask God to protect me from the things that I can not see. That way, I do not have to know or see what a person is doing behind my back. God can see it all and he is the only one who can do anything about it anyway.
2 people like this
@chenxiaoyue_713 (2165)
• China
24 Sep 07
Well, I think it's wasting your time to try to figure out the other persons' characters only from the words they typed on the screen. From those words we can only get to know very little about their thoughts, ideas and worldview, but by no means their characters. This is the difference between our opinions. A person's character can only be known by communicating with him person-to-person. Well, you don't have to worry that I will give you a bad rate because we are different in thinking. That kind of thing is really meaningless.
Every one thinks and acts in his own way under the guidance of his own thinking, and others have no rights to critize him for doing wrong, because that's only others presupposition. So the person who gives you a low rate may have his own reason for doing that. In fact, this happens frequently. If you just want to stop that act, that's impossible. No one can control others' way of thinking or try to change their attitude.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
23 Sep 07
I don't think I know everything about someone just from mylot, and I don't try to "judge" people by their responses here. However...
There are people here that I feel real connections with. Some of them in the first moment that I read something they wrote I could feel their energy, somewhere out there in the world, could feel my heart saying "This person will be important to you." Others I have talked to a few times before having this feeling, but have reached a point where I realized "This is someone I really care about already!"
Maybe I put too much trust in people, or in relationships built online, but that is just part of who I am. I do feel closer to the people I have talked to on messengers, via email, or on the phone, but I also feel close to some people I have only ever talked to on mylot, if we have connected on many discussions. =)
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
23 Sep 07
Oh, I missed part of the question. I'm still sleepy this morning, still drinking my coffee.
All I can say for sure that I know about you is that you are patriotic and religious. Those are things that are obvious from posts as well as just from your profile. I wouldn't assume to know more unless you obviously shared more with me.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
24 Sep 07
Some ppl are like that...openly trusting. It's not a bad thing and works out for some ppl. I'm more cautious...I guess b/c I've been burned in the past both online and in person.
Your right I do have deep beliefs in my patriotism and religion. They go to the very core of who I am.
Thank you for Responding!!
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
24 Sep 07
Woo at least I was right in what I said! I've seen you a lot in the religion category because I am very religious myself. =P
I am very trusting online, and very untrusting offline. I've never been assaulted by someone I met online, or suffered abuse from them, or anything. However, in my offline life, my whole first 18 years or so were a time of abuse and danger for me. So I'm far more likely to trust someone if I have a chance to meet them online first and get to know them there for a long time, before even thinking about seeing them offline. When I meet people in so-called "real life", I am instantly suspicious of them and often strike out violently if they unexpectedly touch me. So I guess in a way the net is my "safe place".
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8140)
• United States
23 Sep 07
I do not think that you could judge people just by a few comments on mylot.In order to really know someone you would have to know them personally.I feel that we can have a small view of a person by their comments but you could not really know them.I have not really thought of making an opinion about you..I do not get all upset when someone does not agree with me,they have a right to their opinions,thats what mylot is all about....I do not think you can always judge a book by its cover...
1 person likes this
@naty1941 (2336)
• United States
23 Sep 07
Nothing can be assumed about people and what they write on myLot. One can glimmer a little bit about their personalities if they are telling the truth. Otherwise, we can't even tell that if they are not telling the truth. I know nothing about you except what you allow me to know.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
23 Sep 07
I don't assume to know any of the members here on myLot, twoey, but what I do is try to pick up on bits and pieces of their general makeup based on their contributions to many discussions. We cannot truly know anyone-only as much as they wish to reveal to us. That is what I do when I receive a friend request. Since I don't know the person making the request, I go through the posts they have made and view the type of discussions they have started and other things in their profile. This is not the deciding factor as to whether or not I will add them to my list of friends-rather it is a yardstick that I use to measure what I am dealing with. I don't want everyone to hold the same views as myself. That would be unrealistic. There are topics that are sometimes discussed on myLot to which I am very sensitive. I have never been one to hold back when it comes to speaking my mind. I can take it as well as dish it out. I am a firm believer that if a flaw in your character is pointed out, you should start to examine yourself to find out what others see in you.
2 people like this
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
23 Sep 07
I try not to judge others and as far as knowing someone that would be hard to do judged on their responses. Life it just a matter of opinion. And if someone disagrees that is their right. THe world would be a very boring place if we all thought alike!
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
24 Sep 07
I think so too...after all what would be the point of the discussion board if no one discussed anything.
That comment makes me remember a movie from a long time ago...Coming to America. Eddie Murphy plays a prince who at one part in the movie meets his bride for an arranged marriage. He asks her "What do you like?" She says "Whatever you like." He asks her "What kind of music do you like?" She says "Whatever kind of music you like." This goes on for a while and it's like she has no opinion whatsoever.
Thank you for Responding!!
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
7 Oct 07
I really have not made a judgement yet,other than that I
like your thoughts and discussions.I glad you choose to be
my friend so I could be notifyed when you start one.It helps
me if I have trouble and do not have anything to discuss.
@ciades (1623)
• Philippines
23 Sep 07
Thats hard dear.But yeh,..what i have known you can read and you can know a part from there personality the way they answering, relate and react to the topic they responded. Especially if we talk about emotions. You will know if that person is emotional,smart and with principle thing. And you can see and observed if that person is with pride too. But its more and you can surely know the person if you know him in personal and you spend a time to be with on him.
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10532)
• United States
25 Sep 07
I've been known to give minor clues about body language like /facepalm and such.
It helps me get what I'm feeling across sometimes.
1 person likes this
@cblackink (969)
• United States
27 Sep 07
I'm not certain it's possible to make an assessment that would be really accurate based on discussions at MyLot. If I invite someone to be my friend here, it's because I like what they have to say. If I met them in person, their little personality quirks and such might drive me nuts,but overall, I kinda' feel that if I like them here in cyberspace, I probably would in real life too. If people disagree with me here or in person, it's not too upsetting. That happens all the time. I try not to make a lot of assumptions/assessments about people.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
25 Sep 07
Some folk here have been very open in talking about their lives from early child hood memories to their thoughts and feelings as an adult. I think if you were to read all of one persons discussions and responses in one go, you would have a pretty good idea of what makes some people tick. Not everyone, but some of the folk here have had really hard lives with no-one to understand them and listen to them and stand up for them or with them.
There are folk here who have brought out the best in me and make me want to be the best I can be in my responses to them. These are the givers, who are tolerant, dont label or judge others and the ones who really care about their friends and fellow man.
Like you and your Mum and as I said in a response the other day, I don't think any one of us truly knows another in spite of the fact that we live with a person perhaps. I don't believe we even know ourselves a lot of the time.
I also believe that as we grow and learn we change so that we are continually evolving mentally, and spiritually.
@xueyao (164)
• China
24 Sep 07
I think I can't label someone very quickly.As most of my good friend didn't like me when they look me at the frist time.but we become good friend in the end,and they give me the chance to know me,and want to make friend with me!maybe we don't know other people in the real life,we can't see what they think about in their deeply heart, but we can feel if we can go the same way,that is enough to live,everyone have different character in the nature,we can't change,I believe I can accept everyone who have the character I don't like.
1 person likes this
@kimthedane (945)
• Denmark
28 Sep 07
Thats a quiet interesting subject Twoey and i tend to agree with you. You dont know ppl on here at all, tho you might get a few hints here and there about their policical viewpoint or look at life in general. This i think is the reasson why you feel a closer friendship to some members than others.
But you might agree in in your life and political viewpoints, but that does not mean that person is any better than the ones you disagree with. Problem with the internet and i think most of the mature members are aware of this, is that online you can be exactly who or what you want and sure lots of ppl ain'¨t what they pretend to be on here. For me this means that i am very caucious about who i accept or request as friends.
I claim to be the same wether online as in real life, but im sure somehow my knowledge to the web and all the kind of people who uses it, do that i am probably not as open pnline as i am in real life. The less ppl online knows about you the better coz the less they have to thow at you. And believe me, i have hat my share of sh it thrown at me.
Thanks for this subject.
@theprogamer (10532)
• United States
25 Sep 07
Some people are pretty open on this site, even me. If I wasn't I probably wouldn't be out helping others with their problems. I probably wouldn't be one giving advice based on my experience. I probably wouldn't post how I feel on various issues. I bet some people still think I'm not real, maybe I'm some server somewhere, who knows. As for judging others, I try not to do that. Some people here as I said are open and I do feel like I could really know them (many know who they are ^^).
As for you twoey I just think you are who you are. I can't make more or less out of it. Nor can I assume some major negative about you based on a seemingly simple comment. I'm not you, and you see things different from me. Unless it's actually something concrete or glaring I'm in no position to judge. Plus labeling and namecalling gets petty. I save that for some of the lowest of the low, but not true mylot members. Fear not, and do not trouble yourself too much Two.
I'm curious, how do I come across on mylot?
1 person likes this
@Vieiragirl (109)
• United States
27 Sep 07
I think if you quick to judge people them you loose out on really discovering what the world really has to offer. I think character also changes depending on what people are going thru character changes just like everything in life. There are alway going to people you will judge for certain actions but if you can look past it. I don't try to know people online because people may not be what they are reflecting here. I think to some people the web is a place to become the person you want to be not who you really are. As for people I meet in real life some of my best friends I didnt exactly start off with the best times. I think people sometimes pretend to be something they are not and time seems to be the only thing that make the real person appear.
