Divorce... right or wrong

@ahgong (10064)
Singapore
October 23, 2007 10:48pm CST
I have been frequent in various forums including this one. Of late, one particular forum has been bringing up the topic of divorce a lot. I have a few questions to ask with regards to the discussions that appeared there. I wonder what do mylotters think about when there is a mention of the word divorce? If one were to point out a couple that is going thru a divorce, who usually in your mind do you associate the cause of the divorce?
5 responses
@aseretdd (13736)
• Philippines
24 Oct 07
There is no divorce in my country and this is something of a shock to people of other nations... although there are those who are lobbying for it to be legalized... but i don't see it happening since my country is predominantly Catholic... I think the main reason why there is divorce is because so couples do not try hard enough to make the relationship work... or that they decided to hastily to get married... nevertheless... there are no winners when i comes to this matter and the ones who are greatly affected are the children...
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
24 Oct 07
Really? No divorce in your country? That is a new discovery for me! Wow... I am very impressed! I totally agree with you that the ultimate ones who get hurt are the children. Even the people around them can feel the heat and the pain from the couple's disagreement.
@aseretdd (13736)
• Philippines
24 Oct 07
But we have this Annullment which is more expensive and it will take a lot longer...and the grounds for an annullment is much, much more difficult to prove unlike in a divorce...
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
24 Oct 07
This is really an eye-opener for me. Explain to me, what is the difference between an annulment and a divorce? How does one get approval for annulment in the case of adultery? Does this annulment have to go to court? Does the involved party require the counsel of a lawyer? How is a case of infidelity dealt with? Does one party get more rights than the other?
@angemac23 (2005)
• Canada
25 Oct 07
I do not think divorce is wrong. If two people are in love and get married and than realize that they are not meant for each other, than they shouldn't stay together! Life is hard enough without having to stay with someone you do not love. There are many reasons why divorce is ok. Many women, and men as well, end up in abusive relationships after they are married and no one deserves to stay in a situation like that. Sometimes people cheat on their spouses and I know I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me!
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
28 Oct 07
Hello angemac23. You have raised a valid point there as well. If the situation is such that the partner is abusive, then divorce is the only way to go. No point staying in a relationship only to get beaten all the time. I wouldn't say divorce is all wrong. Depending on the situation, it could be right as well.
@applefreak (3131)
• Singapore
24 Oct 07
hmm, whenever i hear that my friend is contemplating divorce, i'd wonder why. some times i'd ask, some times i don't. if i'm very close then i will definitely ask for the reason. depending on the reason, i'd advise counselling or separation. divorce is a very drastic measure which should only be considered when all else fail. find that people who think about divorce without really trying to resolve the issue is simply immature. but it also depends on the maturity of the two person entering the marriage. if they had expected a bed of roses, then they couldn't be more wrong. :(
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
28 Oct 07
that is so so true! But counseling only works if both parties are willing to talk their issues out with a third party. It is useless if one party is willing to share, and the other is not. I agree that counseling is good. It helps the couple to better understand what they are getting into when they want a divorce. It may not help in bringing them back. Back at least, they know where the marriage fails and why it fails. And I agree with you that the maturity of the couple is also important. Their character also plays a part. If one is stubbornly refusing aid to investigate their breakdown in marriage and the main reason behind it, the divorce will be lengthy and expensive! And who benefits the most? The lawyers!
@eno222 (93)
• Nigeria
1 Nov 07
Well dear,as you can see we live in a world of uncertainty,well changes takes place rapidly,your best friend can be your worst enemy,your spouse can become your worst night mare,and if its not working out you let go,you dont have to push to hard,life is too short.this is my theory.
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
Divorce should be the last option that a married couple would think about.The priority of every couple or family is to save a marriage and a family. But if in your stay with your marriage and you feel that you are loosing your self respect and that your partner is no longer worthy of a family, and you already do the best taht you can to work things out then I believe that divorce should take place.