Should I Be Ticked Off About This?
By pyewacket
@pyewacket (43903)
United States
November 8, 2007 11:02pm CST
Okay time for a bit of ranting here. LOL.
As some of you folks might remember, early in the beginning of last month (October) I had posted a discussion saying I might not be around much for a very good reason. One of the pet rescuers who took in some of my kitties when my mom and I were being threatened with eviction last year ( a problem she had created of over population) called me up rather frantically as she was going to have a fund raiser for her pet rescue business. She used to live in Staten Island NY, then moved upstate. So she called me since she wanted me to design flyers to announce the fund raiser which was to be on October 20th, and print them up. She's computer illiterate and has no computer anyway. So I said sure, love to. Well, under normal circumstances, since she did take in a few of my kitties and never asked for any monetary compensation, I would have done the task for free, HOWEVER, she OFFERED to pay me for my trouble and to at least compensate for all that ink I'd be using on my computer's printer. I did happen to have extra black ink cartridges but not color, so did need them and as it was I went through nearly three sets of black and color ink cartridges
Now as you can imagine, being the person I am, I knocked myself out doing a truly beautifully designed flyer--the basic background was a orange color to suggest an "Autumn fair" then had a top row banner of small photos of cats, dogs, rabbits and guinea pigs which is what she has at her rescue place. I also place real mini photos of my own, of fall leaves, pumpkins, ...the works here folks..plus then all the text material needed to announce this fund raiser. Then I busted my buns making sure she got them in time by mailing them to her priority mail/certified.
So now it's November--has she paid me yet?? NOPE. I obviously can't email her as she has no computer..I've called a few times, but she has been having problems with her phone, and while I do leave messages on her machine she hasn't called back--the last time I did talk to her, she said she had run out of checks and was waiting for a new order of checks to come in so she could pay me...uh, like duh? Couldn't she send a money order??
Now normally I would just chaulk this up and forget about it, but I really REALLY could use that extra money that she had offered, which was $60 bucks..
Am I wrong to be ticked off? Has something like this ever happen to you, where you went out of your way to do a favor for someone, they said they would pay you for the "service" and then don't??
Grrr!
17 people like this
30 responses
@AmbiePam (120533)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I would be upset too. People have to know your money is tight. Anyone on disability has a hard time. I'm actually in a similar situation, although it involves a little bit less money. This person keeps putting it off, and I'm thinking I'm going to have to kiss it goodbye I hope you don't.
5 people like this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
9 Nov 07
I agree when on disability or any other kind of fixed income every cent counts!
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I might have to start looking for ramen noodle recipes..LOL--or else eat all that duck I have early..LOL..don't ask how low my money is right now. If by some miracle I get the check Friday or Saturday it'll be okay then--thank goodness I do have food stamps, but I still need to pay off a few more bills
3 people like this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
9 Nov 07
Hi pye,
I honestly don't blame you at all for being upset about it! I too have been in similar situations where I have helped someone out and even strapped myself to help them. Then in the end never get paid back for the service I put my heart and soul into when that person has offered to pay! It really is a sad situation as you don't like to think badly of someone especially a friend! I hope the situation gets resolved soon hun, and I'm sorry you had to go through this!
Luv & Hugzz, PurpleTeddyBear.
5 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Yes I really knocked myself out making these flyers too..and it took a few tries since I never did this type of thing before. I hope it's resolved soon...very SOON..not to sound grubby...but I really could use the money right now.
4 people like this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
9 Nov 07
I don't doubt that you gave thae project your all hun. I unfortunately have been through the same kind of ordeal :( It really sucks! Hope they pay up soon, especially with Christmas right around the corner. The most financially stressful time of the year whippee!
3 people like this
@budsr03 (2350)
• Canada
9 Nov 07
Hi Pye! Yup, i've still got wages coming from 20 some years ago! lol! Several other sources also! You sure have the right to be upset, i would be! What helps my temperment now, is thinking how much i can afford to lose! Getting paid back is becoming very unpredictable today! I hope the (your)check is in the mail? Take care Pye.
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I definitely hope that check is in the mail too. Yikes, you've been waiting for wages for twenty some years?? Yeesh
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Her phone has been out of wack, so she might not even be getting my messages.
2 people like this
@pismeof (855)
• United States
9 Nov 07
As a matter of fact Pye,That just happened to me quite recently as well.I was out with a bunch of old friends one weekend evening about a month ago.It was a reunion of a bunch of musicians that all played together many years ago and we all went out for a couple of drinks a shoot the bull about old times.
Anyway; I'm coming home around two in the morning when I notice a woman alone trying to push her car down the street so,being a gentleman,I swing the car around to see if I may be of assistance.
Turns out she's out of gas ,upset about some family matter and bawling her eyes out.
I move her car off the road so it won't be towed,take her to a gas station to get some gas,fill the tank and get her on her way,
all the time being thanked profusely for the help.It turns out she's actually a neighbor on my street and promises to come by and pay me for the help.
Yes you've guessed it I've not seen hide nor hair from her.Oh I see her drive by but not so much as a wave of acknowledgement as she drives by.
5 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
So much for being a nice gentleman and saving a damsel in distress, huh? LOL Maybe next time you do see her drive by you should give her the finger salute..hehee
3 people like this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Not to laugh at your displeasure but... hehehe. What I'm laughing at really is how totally I understand your situation!
My mother wanted her kitchen floor re-tiled, and she wanted me to do it. Thing is, I had 5 million unfinished projects that I was feeling swamped by, and had decided not to take on any others until I had made some headway on them.
My mother and I are kind of at odds these days, and many of our exchanges turn into unpleasant situations, so she sent my sister over to negotiate the deal between us. I told my sister that I would do the job free... on my own time, but that if I was being asked to drop everything and do it now (my mother's motto for other people but never for herself), that the only way I would do that would be if my electric bill were getting paid, and that my electric bill was 140 dollars.
So, I thought we had an agreement when my sister didn't tell me otherwise, and when my mother called me to come over and start the job I reiterated that the only reason I was doing it now instead of later when I had more time, was in order to pay my electric bill before it got shut it off. She said "Yes, I know".
So fine. I finish the job in a few days and and the next thing I know, my mother is giving me 40 dollars... and she'll throw in an extra 10 if I tile the bathroom as well! I was stunned! I said "Hello... my electric bill is one hundred and 40!
She had the gall to say "Well, I'm not going to pay my children professional wages!"
I couldn't phukking believe my ears!
I told her to keep her 40 bucks cause it wasn't gonna do me one bit of good, and turned on my heel and stomped out, with no plans to ever talk to her again.
Fortunately her cousin came to visit a few days later. I really like her cousin, and we sat around one night, just the two of us, drinking rum and coke, and I related the fiasco to him. Well, he took pity on my and gave me a couple hundred bucks, but he made me promise not to tell my mother. I agreed.
Then, as it turned out, the next day my mother decided to up her 'offer' to 100 bucks. I took it. And since Johnny had made me promise not to tell her...
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
MMMmmmm..I see you don't get along with your mother..LOL..My mother passed away last year but our relationship with one another was, shall we say, uh, turbulent? What made it worse that I was still living with her, and in her last few years of life I was also her caregiver...what fun..NOT
hehehe..seems you made a nice profit with your project for your mom...hehee :)
3 people like this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Oops! I mis-read your original post! I thought you said it was your mother you were having the problem with!
My mothers and my relationship has also been very turbulent, often coming to blows, although as we are both maturing it is becoming easier to allow each other the freedom to be who we are.
My mother is a very indolent person, and would love to lie around in bed, reading and eating bon bons, while everyone waited on her hand and foot. I am not exaggerating! And to make matters worse, she is now 75 years old, which I don't consider old, but she is very unhappy to not be 'young & beautiful' any more, AND she is very dramatic... she hobbles around on a cane and whines a lot.
One day she was coming back across a cow pasture from a little picturesque graveyard with a friend and a bull came charging after them. Her friend to this day, recounts the story with hilarious relish, about how quickly my mother threw her cane to the ground and started running. He says he never saw anyone get over a fence so fast. So we all know what she's capable of, she's really not fooling anyone but herself.
Sorry to ramble on but my relationship with my mother has been one of my greatest challenges in life. She lives right across the street from me, and on top of it all, since I no longer have a drivers license (*(%(&*^#$), I have to depend on her to take me anywhere I need to go. (When I was a kid she once tried to get my sisters and brother and me into the car so she could drive us all off the Golden Gate Bridge... I'm still a little nervous about driving any where with her!
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
9 Nov 07
Yes I would be ticked of to and I don't think that is very fair of her if she did not want to pay you then she should not have offered in the first Place
That is just terrible specially because you where using all your own Stuff to
I really hope that she will still give you the money but it looks grim
I am sorry Sweetie and I do hope that you still get it
4 people like this
@meme0907 (3481)
• United States
9 Nov 07
pw you are justified in being p.issed but this may be one of those situations where you just have to cut your losses-after all disease is dis-ease & if you stay upset about it you'll get physically ill so if she won't step up let it go
+'s |:)
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Normally I would cut my losses and think forget about it, but don't ask how low in the green stuff I am..and I still need to pay some bills :(
2 people like this
@irisheyes (4370)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I can see why you're upset but don't dwell on it. Just try to remember that she did you a great big favor and now you've got a chance to pay it back. Sometimes people make promises that they just can't keep and they are so embarassed, they avoid the issue. Her heart was in the right place when she took in the kitties and I'm sure she would have paid you if she was able. There's an old saying "What you can't give freely, don't give at all" Keep that in mind if she asks for your help again.
3 people like this
@irisheyes (4370)
• United States
12 Nov 07
I try to keep that saying in mind too because I have a hard time saying "no" especially if the person has done me some sort of favor in the past. But sometimes it really is important to learn to say no. You kinda owe it to yourself more than you owe a favor.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Yes she did do a tremendous favor in taking a few of my kitties without asking money, but she did offer to pay me for the flyers...I'm without ink for my printer now.. :( And haven't paid all my monthly bills yet. And yes, I will keep that saying in mind
3 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
9 Nov 07
You have every right to be ticked off. In fact I would be very angry if this had happened to me.And she would have just lost a friend over it. I hope you get the money owed.If it were more money owed, I would say don't get mad, get a good lawyer. But for 60 dollars, it isn't worth it.
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Nah..hiring a lawyer just for $60 wouldn't make sense when a lawyer's start up fee is usually a grand
3 people like this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
9 Nov 07
this may sound strange but I think my original response to this topic was deleted. I will respond again, wonder if it gets deleted again.
I was saying that I've been through the same but I didn't call the person or anything, I kind of swallowed it whole thinking I was the blame for trusting. I guess if I were you I wouldn't call her again. but I would definitely stop trusting my friends so easily
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
9 Nov 07
but in a way, you now don't owe her anything for all the favors she's done for you
3 people like this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
10 Nov 07
I know exactly how you feel. I hope thought she realizes this one day and at least return your call
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
10 Nov 07
It is a let down when people who are friends and whom you thought you could trust it turns out you can't trust them :(
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Yes, I'm definitely miffed. I went through a lot of ink printing up those flyers, and now hardly have any left for myself. If I had known she wasn't going to come through I wouldn't have done it
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Maybe you didn't know this woman as well as you thought, pyewacket. That is one of the hazards of mixing business with friendship, though. I don't understand why some people feel that if they know you they are entitled to ask for your professional services with you being uncompensated. It makes matters worse since she offered to pay you and then reneged on the agreement. If I were you I would send her a brief note stating that it is just a reminder, in case she has forgotten your agreement. If this causes hard feelings, her heart wasn't in the right place to start with.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I would write a letter to her, but the real problem is that I need that money like two days ago..LOL--haven't paid all my bills yet. :(
2 people like this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Hiya Pye,
I remember you talking about this, and no I think you have every right to be upset. Its not like you told her, she offered.
I really hate when people offer to do something, and then re-nig on it. Wether its money or just doing something for you. Its like, are they saying it to get you to do it, when you would have done it regardless? I dont know.
I wouldnt let any money ruin a friendship though, but if she is not returning your calls or anything, seems like she has allowed this to come between you and your friendship wasnt really that strong to begin with. Id bug the hell out of her for it. HEHE!
Bay Lay Gray xx
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Yes I plan to bug the daylights out of her..LOL
3 people like this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Oh and I would be really sweet about it too, I wouldnt get upset or say things in anger, I would even act like shes not been ignoring me at all! hehe
Best of luck, I hope you get something positive from this.
Bay xx
2 people like this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
9 Nov 07
It is very rude and not professional. She will pay one way or another, I believe in Karma...
I always ask for 50% deposit regardless of work size, because people have tendency not to pay on time, or not pay at all.
If you have her address, I would send her very nice latter remaining her offer and your help.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Yes I do plan to write her, but I could really use that money like yesterday..LOL..will give a shot and try and call her again
2 people like this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
9 Nov 07
I am so sorry this has happened to you hun, I know you put so much of yourself into everything you do and it is dreadfully disappointing when people don't keep their end of the bargain. I would be really mad too, and I'm sorry to say that this has happened to me on occasion, usually making costume in a hurry and never seeing payment at the end of the project.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I guess I must be too trusting since I tend to judge people coming through as I always come through for others.. :(
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I don't think you are wrong at all...besides they are YOUR feelings and you have a right to them no matter what anyone else says anyway!
$60 sound like a bargain for what you did compared to what a print shop would have charged plus the shipping you paid for to get them to her sooner. She really should be a little more grateful about it. I think the best you can do is let her know that since SHE offered the money you made plans for what to do with it and so you need it by a certain date. If she fails to pay be wary of doing her a paid favor in the future.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I know..she wound up with a real bargain...A pro print shop would have probably charged a few hundred and you're right, if ever she asks another favor I'll say NOPE
2 people like this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Don't feel bad, I can't count the number of times I've been stiffed on babysitting, work for friends, you name it. I've learned a valuable word when dealing with these ppl: NO.
"COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS"
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Well all I know if she dares to ask another favor, it'll be a definite NO!
2 people like this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
9 Nov 07
Hi pyewacket! Oh, I do get what you mean! I really get irritated when somebody promised me something and insist that he or she will do good on that promise which you never actually want in the first place, until you agree to that and take on that promise. And of course, you kinda expect it but then days passed and no sign of him or her promise coming true. That is something that really irritate me big time. We have several friends who always ask favors from my husband for design services and promised to pay but actually don't and then disappear so suddenly. How can they have no shame at all, I just don't know. I guess, they were born thick-skinned. haha.. Take care and have a nice day! And hoping, your friend will somehow pay that $60 to you somehow. Blessings to you my friend.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I guess I'm disappointed too, since if I ask for a favor I do come through no matter what ..
2 people like this
@peanutjar (5198)
• Canada
9 Nov 07
Hi pyewacket,ummm is she pushing/avoiding you on purpose do you think?It seems well to me like shes trying to put paying you off for awhile or forever by using excuses like running out of checks,i find that one amusing.If it was me i would pay you as soon as i had received the goods,because if i didnt it would seem like i was scamming you out of a little cash payment.You worked hard on what you did and deserve to be paid.Maybe you should be paid up front from now on instead of taking chances,even if its someone you know.Yes money orders work as well,but like i said it seems like shes "putting"it off for along time.I hope you do get your money thats owed to you pyewacket.
Peanutjar:)
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Nov 07
It's not like she doesn't have the money to pay me. If she spends about $3,000 a month taking care of her rescued pets a month for upkeep and food, she certainly has $60 to pay me.. :(
2 people like this
