Do you get more upset on others' behalfs sometimes?

Singapore
December 19, 2007 1:05am CST
Have you been in the situation when you feel upset on your friend's behalf? But your friend turns out to be less affected than you? Do you think this tends to happen more with women? who are more emotional? I came across the situation when I was quite indignant with how someone was treating my friend. So I felt that this should not be the case, and expected my friend to be upset too. but my friend surprisingly took it better and brushed it off. Have you experienced this?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
26 Dec 07
Oh yeah, I do squaretile. In fact, I am in such a situation right now. The worst part of it is, you are thinking so much for this friend, he seems to be taking it so lightly. Guess it is a matter of attachment. We been through the situation before and had experienced it. So when we see a friend in a similar situation, we tend to feel more intense in wanting that friend to not walk down the same path of mistake we made. That is why we end up feeling more upset about the whole situation rather than the friend who is experiencing the situation. The upset and frustration on our end is most probably the anguish we feel at not being able to right things when they are obviously wrong in the first place.
• Singapore
27 Dec 07
unless your friend feels the same way, hard for us to do anything...
@applefreak (3131)
• Singapore
19 Dec 07
hmm i guess i used to feel so when i was younger. i used to think that everybody thinks like me. so they should feel equally, if not more, indignant when they are treated lesser than expected. but surprisingly, some pple feels that it's okay to be treated in a certain way. it might to due to lower expectations. or it could be due to the circumstance. guess different man different poison. :)
1 person likes this
• Singapore
21 Dec 07
yeah, some people have higher thresholds. they don't feel that they are being taken advantage of.
19 Dec 07
I have been like this, but now I tend to hold back as in the end I am the one who gets seen as the trouble maker while my friend accepts the situation and ends up not siding with me over the issue. One time I had a friend go on and on about the way she was being treated. I stood up for her as it upset me. When it all came out my so called friend denied everything and i was seen as the bad one. This is why I stand back now, give advise to them, but never fight their battles for them anymore. it ain't worth the agro. Of course when it comes to my family i will always support them!!
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• Singapore
21 Dec 07
hmm... that's true. haven't seen it this way yet.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
19 Dec 07
I know that I, for one, cannot stand to see people I care about being mistreated. I have always said that you can do anything or say anything you want to me, but leave my loved ones alone. I do stand up for others all the time, even when they are reluctant to do so for themselves. I don't care whether or not they are personally bothered by what happened, if I feel they were mistreated, watch out.
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• Singapore
21 Dec 07
wow...you're a good pal to have.
@lucy67 (819)
• China
19 Dec 07
i have such experience several times. but when i calm down, i always blame myself for it because i don't think it is good to be so emotional. i always admire those who can be calm whatever what has happened.
• Singapore
19 Dec 07
yup, sometimes i wonder whether I'm just more petty... and other people have larger hearts.
• India
19 Dec 07
I feel women are more emotional but at the same time women are also emotionally more stronger. I have been in this situation of getting more upset on my cousin's behalf. Her exboyfriend who used to give all those promises and went on to marry some other girl when they were still going around. He even tried to hide the marriage. I was furious. It is not that she was not but she took it calmly.
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• Singapore
19 Dec 07
that's simply Too Much. i wouldn't have stood for that sort of thing at all. I hope she dumped him there and then.
• Philippines
6 Feb 08
yup.. i dont know why i feel more affected when my friends are having a bad time.. maybe because of the fact that i dont want my friends to be sad, because they are the ones who makes me happy.. do i make sense? i hope so.. but really, i really feel worse when one of my close friends are experiencing a bad time..