How Many Kids is Too Many?

Not only because childhood is not a race a religion, but because age discrimination is not unheard of and very few people question it's "morality" or "rightness". Dozens of people say they hate old people, hundreds say that young people are too stupid to make decisions for themselves. Why are these perspectives "acceptable", but I'm not allowed to say I hate kids? Because "they're so sweet and innocent and great and blessings and miracles" and blah, blah, blah, blah. Give me a break. My morality has nothing to do with my disgust with children. I simply hate everything that makes a child a child. I have since I was 4 years old. It hasn't changed in 16 years, I doubt it will in 16 more. I simply cannot stand being around children and I do not understand why anyone would want them.

Being forced to interact with kids made me hate kids. They're the most annoying, aggravating, infuriating, disgusting, repulsive aspects of the day-to-day world. I don't think they're "cute", I think they're stupid and I have no patience or tolerance for stupidity.

I really don't care what either of you think of me for my lifestyle and opinions. I don't put much stock in the judgments of the breeder nation indoctrinated minds. I'm not lonely and I do enjoy my cats, thank you very much ^_^

What does money have to do with wanting to date a woman with children? I think this is the problem a lot of men run into. They hear a woman has kids and are immediately put off on the idea of a relationship because they start thinking that they are somehow going to end up to be financially responsible for the kids. If a woman is looking for a man just so she has someone to support her kids then she is wrong. But money has nothing to do with the question I'm asking.

Ok my turn to rant... What does the situation of the country and financial strength have to do with dating and being in a relationship with a woman. POINT ONE: These are not your kids to be financially responsible for you are only dating her liking and getting along with the kids is more important. POINT TWO: This wasn't a debate about if you have x amount of dollars you can have x amount of children. Who cares what china does we do not live in China. Point Three: I agree with Cynical most men see the woman has kids and the first thought is that they have to support and take care of them all financially. Any Man who thinks this PISS OFF. They are the woman kids and her financial responsibility. If she has them obviously she can afford them, maybe she forgos something that she wants so that they have but you know what just because you date someone doesn't mean you have to be financially responsible for the person you date or her kids. That only happens when and if you and that person get serious and get married. Do you people think that's going to happen over night? Get a clue if you like the person date them regardless of wether there is 1 or 20 kids, cross that bridge when it happens not before you even know if your compatable with them. I swear I'm tired of suffering fools.

Bella I think you are going to frighten all other guys from commenting on this post. But I knew I could count on you to get what I was asking. I just mentioned that the man had a stable a job because if the guy is some loser who lives in his parents basement then he wouldn't care if the woman had kids if it meant he got to get out of his parents house. I'm just looking for single stable men to tell me if they would date a women with a lot of kids or if her kids would be a reason why he wouldn't date her. Money doesn't matter to the woman in this situation, trust me.

That is why this question was directed to guys but I think Bella and me scared off any more men from responding. All too often I have come across guys who tell me how wonderful I am and how great my kids are but they don't want to be any more than just my friend because they think they will end up being responsible for my kids. I wish there were a way to erase that kind of thinking from their brains.

I agree with angel too and I also feel the need to stand by shellfish's stand. When I was 16, I had a child and was coerced by my father to marry. My chiidren's father was incapable of having a relationship with them. Yes, I was ignorant enough to fall pregnant a second time at 18. My husband resented my children and me and he became abusive. Raising two children on my own was very difficult as my family had disowned me. I didn't enjoy motherhood and I was a dismal mother. I was not meant to have kids and they both deserved a better Mum. After a few years of being on my own, I entered into a relationship with another man who tried but over time also resented my children and my role as their mother. Obviously, both these relationships failed; neither of these guys being able to step up to the plate and be a family man, husband and father. Years later, my next relationship was a joy mainly because of the freedom we had because we were child free. I'm sure there are many guys out there who would be able to take a ready made family in their stride but I believe there are maybe just as many who would be too inexperienced and intolerant to be able to take on the role. This would have been a good discussion except for the fact that someone decided to attack one of the posters for their opinions. I just hope the firing squad has left the building because I feel I may be setting myself up here to be fired upon for sharing some of the hardships of my life. Kids like me and I have a way with them but I like to walk away. I would never ever be involved with a man with strong family ties.

I think if I was a single person faced with that situation.. I don't think I could persue a relationship with the other person. I love kids and everything, but if I were single and didn't have any, I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who had 4. I could handle maybe 1 or 2 but not 4. Given the age ranges too, it would be to much ofa transistion to go from a single person with no one outside of myself to worry about or take care of to having a whole family to deal with. There is an attachment issue that one has to take into consideration too. Its hard enough for a couple to bond when its just the two of them, but trying to build a relationship when you have kids involved is just to much. As sad as it is... being single with 4 kids is a red flag when it comes to dating, no matter how the situation came about. Most men don't want a ready made family, nor do they want the responsibility of rasing someone eles's children.

Thank you for taking the time to ask. The mother is single because the father of 3 of her 4 children lost all of his parental rights to them after she threw him out of her house for being a leech. The father of the first became abusive over a decade ago and they separated. The mother works a full time job making good money for the area she lives in. The man in this scenario is unmarried, and childless. But now my question is, how do you get to the possibility of marriage if you would shy away from someone with that many kids before ever starting a relationship?

lol

Spider, can you read? No, seriously...what in the hell does your response have to do with the discussion I posted?

lol...I think spider just read the subject line and didn't bother to read the whole post!

Clarus while I thank you for contributing your comment has nothing to do with the question I asked in the written part of my discussion. Next time please read more than the title if you are going to comment.

I couldn't agree with you more. I have had plenty of men only want one thing from me after making sure to ask me if I wanted any more kids. These types of men weren't lucky enough to get in my phonebook let alone any place else. When I met the man I am with now we talked in great length about what he was "getting himself into" and not only was it something he wanted to do he has been the most positive influence next to me that my children have ever had. congrats to you for being one of the lucky ones.

when my hubby and i first got together i made it crystal clear that i was a package deal he cant have kids of his own so he was good with that we dated for awile b4 i brought my kids into it and when i did i make it clear again that if he was going to be in our lives he had to set boundries with them and b a positive figure i got very lucky to find him and am thankful for him everyday it did help that all my kids were young i would imagine it would have to be hard when the kids are older it wouldnt be as easy to grow as a family he thinks he is the lucky one