Have You Ever Been Threatened?

@wolfie34 (26791)
United Kingdom
December 31, 2007 9:26am CST
Wolfie is not a happy wolf, I have just got word from my friend, that my ex is threatening to cause problems with my parents, my parents have a 'delicate marriage' as my friend puts it and my ex could tear them apart if he starts to write to them and cause problems, my friend was my ex's other half before I came along and he is acting as the intermediary. I have warned my parents, he has already harrassed my mum on the phone although having said if he does send stuff addressed to my father we have proof I have sent my friend an email telling him that my ex would be stupid to send anything because we'd go straight to the police My father isn't worried about it at all, in fact he is taking it soooooo calmly and just shrugged it off, I think I am doing the worrying for them! I am going to the advice bureau Wednesday, I just need to know how I can get a restraining order on him (if any of my good friends from the UK know about injunctions and restraining orders, do I have to go to the police, solicitor or citizens advice bureau to issue one on him?) Well I did say the mud with hit the fan and it is doing so. All because of my idiot landlord who won't take my name off the lease even tho I gave him one months written notice, he just wrote back saying my ex is the sole tenant and I won't be getting my deposit back that is down to my ex to give that back to me. If my ex does a wobbly or refuses to pay the rent, then I am liable! That's what all this is about, if it was just the deposit I would have forgotten it Now my ex is gunning for me big time. Have you ever been threatened in any way? How did you cope with it? I am shaking, shaking with anger and frustration and yes worry too, because he could write some nasty stuff to my parents, he is certainly capable of it Sorry to bore you with this but I have to get it off my chest xxxx
4 people like this
10 responses
@raydene (9874)
• United States
1 Jan 08
Honey..Stop letting this bully push your buttons.. So he may say something bad to your parents..if he threatens then take the letters to the police ...or better still..write return to sender without opening them!..he he he...that will pis5 him off...no? Sweets..Stand firm..this is YOUR life..live it and do not give him the time it takes to worry about what he might do! I wish I lived next door to you....I'd be right there with you when you laugh in his face!! love u doll xoxoxo
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
1 Jan 08
He is a bully! But I could cause him so much grief, I am going to get it sorted out tomorrow, at least with the citizens advice bureau, the police is another option, I have the aces xxxx love you too x
@williamjisir (22900)
• China
1 Jan 08
Hello dear wolfie. I am sorry that my wolf is not a happy wolf now. But you don't have to worry about your current situation since your parents know how your ex is like. I am sure that your friends will help you out of this unhappy situation for you. I hope to see a happy wolf soon. Cheer up, dear wolfie.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
1 Jan 08
Thank you my dear friend, tomorrow is the 'big' day, it's crunch time on 2nd January after tomorrow I will know how to cope and deal with this tricky situation, Happy new year and thanks for being a good friend.
• China
2 Jan 08
Hello dear wolfie. I wish that you would get over the very moment today. Good luck and be brave, dear wolfie.
@howard96h (11643)
• New York, New York
31 Dec 07
If you have it in writing that your ex is the sole tenant then that means your ex is responsible for the apartment if anything bad happens in there. Like he said you'll have to go after your ex for the deposit money (that stinks) but the most important thing is that your not liable for the apartment. I would go and talk to an attorney that handles tenant/landlord issues. I don't know how it is in your Country regarding restraining orders but an attorney will be able to help you with that too. When you moved in which names went on the lease, just yours or both names? If it was just your name and you notified him (the landlord) in wirting that you moved out then I think you should get your deposit back and he should issue a new lease to your ex. If both names were on the lease and you moved out then I think the landlord will keep the deposit and making you go after your ex for the money. Your ex should NOT be involving your family in any of this, it is between you and him it is wrong and a shame for him to bother your parents. Stay strong wolfie.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
31 Dec 07
The tenancy was in both of our names, it's an old tenancy which ran out in 2005, but was continued by verbal agreement of the landlord that we gave him one month to move out and he had to give us two months. I followed the law I gave him one month's but he REFUSES to do a new contract just for my ex, which is so lazy and unfair. So in my eyes my name is still on that original document even tho' it's out of date. Thank you my friend.
@howard96h (11643)
• New York, New York
2 Jan 08
Thank you for the BR.
@chrislotz (8200)
• Canada
9 Jan 08
You aren't boring me, my friend, that's what friends are for. I can't help you but I can listen and sometimes that's what we need. Someone to just listen to us and let us get it off our backs. I feel for you and your problems. I don't know what to say, but if your parents aren't too worried about it maybe you shouldn't be so worried. Or does your ex have something to say to your parents that is true and will hurt them. I hope you can get a restraining order against him, in my country you just go to the police and file for one. I don't know how it's done in your country. I have never heard of an advice bureau because we don't have them here in Canada. I wish you a lot of good luck and try not to stress your self too much. Hopefully nothing is going to come out of his threats. Maybe he just wants you back and thinks he can blackmail you into coming back.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
9 Jan 08
The only stuff he has on my parents is what I told him, but truth does hurt yes, and it is his desperate attempts of blackmail, but he should by now know it doesn't work! But hopefully I have now got him and my landlord off my back! Thank you my friend.
@suspenseful (40314)
• Canada
31 Dec 07
Your landlord should give you your half of the deposit. So here is what you should do, contact your solicitor. He will tell you what to do. Oh and do not rely on a friend to set you up, especially if that one he set you up with was a former partner or room mate. He was just shifting his problem (your ex room mate) to you and I would not be surprised if that ex room mate had another one before your friend, so that should have set up a red flag. After your solicitor deals with the landlord, you might think about changing the way you live. Sometimes it is better to live alone for a while.
1 person likes this
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
16 Feb 08
wolfie, it is always a sad story when another person start to do stupid things, and i do think that you should deny that person and all he said. i did have a case that a neighbor threatened me, he did not like the color of my kin, or that it is different from his, so he just told me what he would do to me in the night time, when he repeated telling me what he would do to me every day for a week, i just called his landlord and the police and they got him out of that building, and told him that if he once more gets closer to me, he would sit in jail. so the problem was solved.
@lols189 (4797)
14 Feb 08
jeez bit of a bad situation there wolfie!! you can go and see a solicitor and get the injuction put on him and also if i was you i would report him to the police for harrasment, we have a good government here that prosecutes anyway they can so make the most of it and report him
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
2 Jan 08
Your father has the right attitude, wolfie, and I think you are giving this person way too much power over you. You should take a stand and tell him where to get off! Let him know that you will not bow to his threats-under any circumstances. Also let him know that if he involves your parents in any fashion, you will be forced to contact the authorities. This should give him pause-and make him think twice before he tries to get at you through your parents. I don't see anything wrong in firing off an email to him and letting him know exactly where you stand. Good luck!
• India
1 Jan 08
Yes i was once badly threatened by my school teachers.I didnt scored well in my exams and my teachers threatened me that i will be expelled out of the school if next time i wont score good marks.But after that i started working harder and harder and really improved my studies.Now i feel very thankful for my teachers who forced me to study.
• United States
1 Jan 08
Sounds to me like your ex needs a good old fashioned azz whippin' to me, but I know that isn't your style. I'm not sure how things work over there, but there are laws against phone harassment here. I think your mum should press charges if she can. I also think a change of phone number might be in order. You also might want to think about trying to legally remove yourself from his obligations. You no longer live there, have your name removed from the lease. If he ends up out in the cold because of it, feel free to remind him that his nastiness brought it all on him.