So, I left him!!!

I'm so glad things are working out for you Mare....I know it was something you hummed and hawed about but hindsight is 20/20 right and this was a GREAT move for you and the little one ;-) Wish I could have helped though ya know, furniture wise etc I mean.. to answer your questions.. "Have you left an unhealthy relationship and started over?" - oh hell ya! the first time there were no kids involved and it was a physically abusive relationship..the second time though was when I kicked the kids dad out, packed up and moved 2 1/2 hrs away back to my hometown (which just ended up being jumping from the pan into the fire in so many ways)..When I moved though I didnt lose anything material but I had to start over (actually from scratch) mentally and emotionally..it was actually after that split up that I started rebuilding myself from the shell of a person I'd been all my life...I've left many unhealthy situations and lost everything but those two times were the only ones where a relationship was involved "Are you in an unhealthy relationship now?" - no not at all..both J and R are amazing men :-D "What do you look for in a partner?" - respect....I not only expect it, i DEMAND it...also I like a great sense of humour, someone who wont try to change me or mould me into something/someone i'm not..Someone with a job (I've already supported a man I'll be damned if I'm gonna ever do that again), someone who is compassionate and caring, loves kids, realizes that I am a VERY independant woman, I do things MY WAY when it comes to my homelife and raising my kids..someone who realizes that they will NEVER replace my ex or my husband they are the ONLY father and stepfather my kids will ever have..Someone who enjoys 'living' rather than just sitting at home doing nothing..I love to be out and about, not all the time but fairly often..A person who accepts my children and I for who we are EVEN THOUGH we dont fit the standard ;-) We love us...if anyone has issues with that they need to be on their way... the list goes on but I'll stop there LOL

I'm so proud of you, Mare! It takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself and get out of a bad relationship. You did it! God helped you and He will continue to help you. You are so special! I have gotten out of a really bad marriage nearly 9 years ago. I stayed and prayed and hoped that he would change into the person I thought I had married. I made a huge mistake getting married...esp to him. I had warning signs, etc, but I chose not to listen to them. I prayed about it, wanting to do the right thing. I had a lot of people helping me, esp the Lord and I feel I did the right thing. He wasn't happy in the marriage either. I think we both were not ready for it. Anyway, I am dating a wonderful Christian man named Kris. We have been seeing each other for nearly a year now and he is soooo sweet! He loves to cook dinner for me, go shopping...can you believe that one?, goes to church regularly, prays with me. We watch tv together and we both love pets...esp cats! I believe you should not really go out seeking a bf/gf, but let a relationship grow. You want someone who will respect you, love you, be good to you and if you are a believer, a godly person. I personally believe it is better to be friends at first and then let it go from there if it is meant to be. You want the right person for you. You want them to love you and respect you. You want someone that you want to do things for and not just someone who will always do things for you. You should be a giver in the relationship. Both should be givers. Again, good for you Mare!! God bless:)

yes,maybe anyone experienced the unhealthy relationship in the past timeo..me too,but now maybe i found the MR RIGHT,the important thing is i never look back ,,forever image the future,,wish you have a good day

I was in an abusive marriage for the longest time and tolerated alot because I did not think i could make it on my own with 4 children. I finally did and got some councelling. I now have little tolerance for lameness in relationships. I can be perfectly happy and ok on my own and have no need to be miserable for the sake of "being with someone." Good for you for having the guts to move on!!

First and foremost WAY TO GO! it's not easy and it's bumpy but it's all so worth it! I left my idiot after four years of hell. It wasn't easy and I have horror stories but I now live a happy life with a new AWESOME man, in a new place, with a new name and all is well! Good luck and don't look back!

Congradulations.More people should do what you did instead of taking crap.Twas just a learning experience for you to find out the difference between the good and the bad.Now you can be open to the good instead of losers.

it is beter to go ahead after leaving from an abusive relationship. its always better to move on in life. You can achieve nothing great from moaning about a bad relationship.