Working on a rewrite... need advice.
By Sillychick
@Sillychick (3275)
United States
January 19, 2008 7:40pm CST
Ok, this article stinks. I am working on a rewrite, but am struggling with the introduction.
http://www.helium.com/tm/308295/there-toddler-develop-motor
Here is the rewrite I have come up with, but it's not really thrilling me. j
'To help your toddler develop fine motor skills, there is a wide range of activities that will be fun for him. Here are some suggestions of toys and activities that will offer opportunities to develop this important skill.'
So, what do you think? Any and all thoughts, comments, suggestions are welcome and appreciated.
Thanks?
3 responses
@LouRhi (1502)
• Australia
20 Jan 08
You have some great points in this article. I can understand why you think it stinks, but it doesn't.
While it seems a bit stiff and doesn't always flow the best it is by no means a bad article
These topics seem easy to write on but they are not really, even if it is something you know inside out it is quite challenging I think. There is so much pressure to be informative.
I have also written in this topic so I am cautious at making to many comments, bit like the kettle calling the pot black I think!
here is my article in case you haven't read it and wish to.
http://www.helium.com/tm/808604/develop-motor-skills-important
I don't often read other articles on similar topics until I am done with writing. I fear being influenced by others!
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
20 Jan 08
I understand why you would hesitate to give specific comments. I don't like to read the other articles for fear of inadvertently being influenced. But I will check yours out after I post my leapfrog.
You're right- these kinds of articles are hard to write without sounding like an instruction manual.
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
20 Jan 08
What you have sounded fine but, How about this Sillychick?
There are any number of fun and educational activities that will assist your toddler in developing very important fine motor skills. These are just a few examples of some toys and activities that can help your child hone these crucial skills.
I love to use big words!
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
20 Jan 08
Thanks. I will give that some thought. If I don't use it in the intro, it may be good for the conclusion, too. I often like to restate the intro, without being too repetitive.
@inked4life (4224)
• United States
20 Jan 08
The article doesn't stink at all, I think it's very good. Here is how I would open the article (please feel free to use any or all, or completely ignore it...LOL)
It's never to early to get your toddler started on developing fine motor skills. There are a wide variety of fun activities that will help, and that will will make the learning process fun for child and adult alike.
good luck with the article
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
20 Jan 08
Thanks, I like that intro.
'It's never too early to start...'
That is the exact opening of another article I wrote, on toddler reading skills, so I don't want to use that and repeat myself, but I like the rest.
