Rules of Engagement

Thanks, Gabs! It's all of my wonderful myLot friends that make this beautiful experience into a pleasant reality! I'm looking forward to the wedding very much, but I want to enjoy the time being engaged also. That's some excellent advice I received from another friend. The wedding should be a fun thing to plan. My fiance is such a sweetheart and makes life so worth it. Of course, he's so supportive of my "myLot life," as I like to call it too. He thinks it's great that I have something I enjoy doing on the side while earning a little bit of extra cash also! That definitely means he's a keeper! Thanks again!!

The way you are approaching your marriage preparation, involving your family in decision-making, etc. is to me a very prudent thing. I don't really know about your culture, but in mine, seeking the parents' advice and letting them have a hand in deciding wedding dates and some of the arrangements equate to respect and gratitude for them in having brought us up till this stage of our lives for marriage. So according respect to them in this manner augurs well for a good marriage. Not everyone is mindful of this, but when a couple marries, they also inevitably bring their families (parents and in-laws) into the marriage relationship in one way or another. This relationship I feel is very important in keeping a good marriage going. Of course this is just one aspect about preserving a marriage, but an important one. Before my wife and I got married, my wife sounded out to me the very real possibility that her mother would have to stay with us and we will have to look after her. In marrying her, I would have to accept that arrangement as a condition. So for my case, the importance of keeping good family relationships with parents and in-laws in marriage is paramount here. I agreed to the arrangement without much reservation (actually I had no choice..LOL). Well, after 22 years of marriage, my mother-in-law is still staying with us. Our relationship with her is still great and cordial.

I really appreciate the real-life example you have shared with me as a picture of an excellent marriage and how one should be. You should feel honored that you are a part of such a great marriage relationship! I hope and pray mine is as beautiful. A person couldn't wish for anything better! I really like your most recent comment because it has helped me to see even another angle on the marriage relationship. As you said, obviously I won't be marrying my fiance's family, but I will be a part of his and he will be a part of mine. I never thought about perhaps having to care for a parent, but that indeed may be necessary later on. No one anticipates something like that happening, but really it's duty for us. Our parents care for us for however many years until we leave home, and then it's our turn to return the favor if need be. Thanks again for your wonderful insight in this matter. I really appreciate your wise advice.

What a beautiful story! Yours is a very unique one even though it may seem that your proposal wasn't as big of a surprise as most. I think it's still very special and loved reading about it. My fiance will have been together for four years this-coming May, so you're relationship of five years and then engagement doesn't seem very strange to me. My sister and her now husband were together over five years before her proposed and were together six years before they finally got married. I plan on talking to my parents about a wedding date also. I want to make sure they are pleased with the relationship although my fiance doesn't have quite as good of a relationship with them as I would've hoped. However, you'll be happy to know that is something we're all going to work out before we get married! I think that's very important and family has always held a special place in my heart. I wouldn't want to do anything that would split my family apart or make my parents unhappy with me. Thank you so much for sharing your engagement and marriage story with me. I'm sure you and your wife have a beautiful marriage. I'm so happy to hear you married you first love and best friend. I intend to do the same in a few months!

Thank you for your response, Sarah. I truly admire your humility and honesty enough for you to admit that marriage is not for you. Marriage is not for everyone! Thank you also for your wonderful wishes for my husband-to-be and myself. I wish you the best in all of your endeavors!

Oh Thank you.

Oh that would be perfect to get married next Valentine's !!! :)

Wouldn't it though? I'll keep you posted. :)

Thanks again, Pye! This discussion wouldn't be complete without your response. I'm glad you found it. Valentine's Day will be a wonderful memory I will never forget. It's very interesting that you mentioned getting married on Valentine's Day because it just so happens that Valentine's is on a Saturday next year (2009)! How interesting. My fiance and I considered getting married then, but we'll see how the planning goes. Thanks again for your wonderful response and take care, my friend.

How sweet! I love your story! My fiance was quite shy and speechless also, which sounds just like your husband at the time! Congrats on your four years of being together. I'm sure that's difficult being away from each other with him being overseas. I'm so excited to hear that you'll be renewing your vows this June! PLEASE tell me about it, ok? I'd love to hear about how it turns out. That's sounds so wonderful! I'm glad you get to have a "real" wedding now with all of the fun stuff to go with it. I'm glad you and your husband are together. It's couples like you that I just can't help but be happy for! Thanks so much for sharing. Your story definitely put a smile on my face!

awww, thanks so much. i will definitely keep you posted on the renewing of the vows and all that. your story sounded wonderful to. God bless you

Thanks! I definitely look forwarding to hearing how it goes in a few months. Happy planning!

Thank you for your best wishes. Your engagement stories although perhaps not as romantic are still very sweet and were fun to read about! I wish you and your current husband long life and a beautiful relationship and marriage. No one expects to get divorced, but sometimes it's inevitable. It's like they say, you have to meet a few wrong ones before you meet the right one! It makes it all worth it, though. I'm very excited to get married and want to do all I can now to ensure the relationship is going to last forever as you said because I know it's a life-long commitment. I want it to last forever and to be special. Thanks again for your stories and for your encouraging response.

Thank you for your happiness because of my engagement! I'm very excited and very much looking forward to planning the wedding. I will keep you posted on the details and happenings of our upcoming wedding. Thank you for your congrats, my friend!

Hey, Reese! You know me better than to think I would tell you off because of your response!! (LOL) That made me laugh, though. Thanks for the congrats. I really hope everything works out and goes smoothly for the wedding, and then everything else that goes with marriage. Thanks for the compliments also. You almost made me blush! (LOL) Your healthy jealousy is appreciated. I know that perfect woman is out there waiting for you also. It's all a matter of finding her and if you're interested or not! (Judging by your "healthy jealousy" in this case, I'm assuming the answer to that would be a "yes"!) Your response, like all the others, gave me quite a chuckle again today. Thanks for sharing what you could in this discussion. Keep it up!

Our wedding will be pretty large. We both have large families and separate churches, so everyone will be invited to the wedding. We'll also be having the reception more than likely at my church where we will be married. I don't think there will be room for the 400 or 500 people attending to also be at the reception, but at least that way we won't have to reserve an expensive banquet hall to have the reception. We'll also be able to do the decorating ourselves.

Thank you so much for the great advice. I know what you mean about starting off the marriage debt-free. That's one of our biggest goals as a couple, to be good with our finances, since it's such a big issue in marriages. I think that's so cute how your husband proposed to you. How sweet is that! I think it's great how you said yes and didn't even care that he didn't have the ring. It's really funny you would mention that because my fiance while we were dating would ask me so many times if I would marry him that I would never know if he was seriously proposing to me until he had the ring! I always said yes even when he was joking around, but it brought a whole new meaning to the relationship when he finally asked me with a ring to back it up! I'm happy to hear you also got your ring on Valentine's Day along with your yummy chocolates! I really enjoyed reading your engagement story.

Hi, Aqua! It's great to hear from you and thanks so much for your response. I believe it's about the same here in the States as far as booking a reception hall. Fortunately, I don't think we'll have to do that since I'm planning on getting married at my church and having the reception there also. I don't think it costs anything other than the regular wedding fee. We'll have someone cater the meal also. I'm all about cutting corners to make the wedding cheaper although I still want it to be special and beautiful! It'll be a real challenge having a decent budget along with all of the things the wedding will need. I'm definitely going to take your advice about the wedding invitations also. My sister is a very artistic person and she made her own for her wedding. They turned out beautiful. I'm going to either make my own or have her design them (for free, of course). She'll be my Matron of Honor as well, so it'll be perfect having her help. Thanks again for the congrats and for your wonderful advice. I'll be sure to let you know when we have a date! Take care, my friend. :)

Hi, Sheen! Thank you so much for your sweet response. You're definitely right about my enjoyment of Valentine's Day! I'm so happy that my myLot friends are here to enjoy this special occasion with me; I'm glad you reminded me of that! Thanks also for your wonderful wishes. I will keep everyone posted on how the wedding plans are going in the form of discussions! Keep up the good work, my friend. :)

Thanks for the congrats! I'm so glad you've been to Frankenmuth before. How neat it must've been to go to a wedding there too! There's no place like it. It's really unique and that's what I love about that town. It makes me so happy that you've been there before since you know exactly what I'm talking about! I think you and your husband's engagement sounds very romantic! I knew my fiance would come up with something really special, but I'd also would've loved to get engaged on the beach. Of course, here in Michigan, there really are no beaches and no ocean, so that would've been difficult. I could always get married on the beach! I'm so happy for you and your husband. Thanks for sharing your story with me!

Thanks, Marketing! Your husband sounds so romantic too. You actually reminded me of something I might've forgotten to mention in my discussion description! My fiance also got me half a dozen red roses even before we get engaged. He said that was my Valentine's Day present. He kept saying how it wasn't much, but it was very special to me, especially once I found out they were my "engagement roses"! (LOL) Thanks for sharing your sweet story also. I love hearing about romantic couples. I think it's such a special thing.