How do you determine abuse?

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My girlfriend has allowed her daughter, son in law and grand kids to move in with her for a few months while the kids supposedly got back on their feet and paid bills. Things have been awful for her since the kids arrived. Her kids immediately told her what she could do in her own home. They borrowed her car and not only damaged it and didn't offer to repair it, they put over 44,000 miles on it in 8 months. They don't help with any of the work; or offer to help with paying the electric,gas or cable bills. They hogged the television and my girlfriend didn't get to watch any of her programs for over 8 months. My girlfriend hides in her bedroom while her kids are there for fear of being accused of doing something wrong. Her possessions aren't her own and she has no privacy as the grandkids go through her possessions while she is gone (if my girlfriend brings up the subject she is told she is lying that the grandkids say that they didn't do what she said they did). She is expected to do all the house work without anyone assisting. My girlfriend also loaned the kids her new used vehicle and got it back with over 40,000 miles on it (the miles were put on in less than 9 months!) and serious mechanical and body problems. She had to buy another car so that she could make her medical appointments--she couldn't afford to buy another vehicle but she had no options. The kids are supposed to move out this week and the kids are gone and she hasn't heard a word from them. My girlfriend rescheduled an important surgical appointment so that she could be home when the kids moved out--the last time she heard from her kids was 4 days ago and that was to tell her that they were coming up that night. The kids never arrived and she hasn't heard a word since. I'm not the only one worried about my girlfriend. She is in bad medical condition and the stress levels have had her to the point that her doctor had to put her on tranquilizers. I have had to hold her during her "melt downs" (she calls them that--they really are hysterics caused by the mistreatment) and wait for the tears and chest racking sobs to subside. The kids have never hit my girlfriend, but the lack of consideration, the accusations, the indifference and the other means of mistreatment are abuse in my book. I'm just wondering if I am over sensitive since I love this woman with all my heart. She is the kindest most caring person you could meet. With all the problems with her kids she still will reach out and help others that don't have enough food, clothes or blankets. What is your opinion???