"if only..."

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"IF ONLY..." IF ONLY I COULD ALWAYS BE ALONE IF ONLY ALL MY SKIN COULD BE TURNED INTO STONE SO THAT THE PAIN COULD NEVER REACH MY BONES SO THAT THE PAIN COULD NEVER HIT HOME IF ONLY I COULD ALWAYS BE ALONE THAT I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO PICK UP THE PHONE NEVER BE HURT BY WORDS AFTER THE TONE I WOULD JUST BE A HOLLOW UNAFFECTED DRONE IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY TO MAKE MY MIND TURN OFF IF ONLY THERE WAS SUCH A THING AS MENTAL FLOSS SO THAT FROM MY MIND DECAYED IDEAS I COULD TOSS SO THAT FROM MY MIND TANGLED WIRES I COULD UNCROSS IF ONLY WE COULD RID OURSELVES OF ALL INADEQUACY RATHER THAN BEING OUR OWN WORST ENEMY IF ONLY WE COULD RID OURSELVES OF SELFISH APATHY RATHER CONFORM TO THE HEALER WHICH IS SYMPATHY AND EMPATHY ZeN