Praising or complaining... which do you do more?

United States
April 6, 2008 6:07pm CST
How many times in a week do you praise people or complain about people? It is interesting to look at what we do most. I met one woman who said, "My husband does nothing to help me around the house and is nasty to me." I suggested that she start sometimes asking him to help out and give him lots of praise when he did something that she liked. She did as suggested and soon found that he was helping more around the house and was much easier to be with and kinder towards her. She liked the change in her husband but she said, "Do I have to keep on praising him?" I chuckled and asked if she still wanted to have him keep on treating her nice. Do you complain or praise? What works for you better?
4 responses
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
7 Apr 08
I always loved it when hubby helped arouo the house we would do most things as a team. They like to be needed .
• United States
8 Apr 08
It is true that they like to be needed... Hugs to you Lakota12.
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
8 Apr 08
thanks and hugs to you too
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
6 Apr 08
This is a good discussion, whiteheron. I have teaching experience (elementary) and know first hand how positively praising efforts can bring about future return. I try to remember that and apply it in all areas of my life. Even if I didn't make to effort to praise when possible, I think the bottom line is that nobody likes a complainer. I subscribe to the idea that if you don't like something, make a change. Complaining doesn't bring about change and often serves to only make things worse.
• United States
8 Apr 08
You are so right... complaining does normally make things worse... You would rather be the change by making a change instead of complaining... sounds like you are more active than passive and more likely to solve problems than to bemoan your fate that is a good thing.
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
9 Apr 08
Thanks for the best response, whiteheron.
@plumwish07 (4059)
• Indonesia
7 Apr 08
actually each people like to get any praising from anothers and i think its naturally cause humans love to be praised. in my household, if my husband helping me out surely i would say thank you for his understanding or might give him light kiss over him and said "i love you" but sometimes, i also did complaining if i feel so much tired and fully stressed from my working day as like him too (both of us working outside) but its not gonna take long cause after drink something cold, we were helping each other
• United States
8 Apr 08
It is good that you and your husband praise and thank each other... And it is understandable when you are tired and stressed that complaining occurred at times... We are, after all, human beings... and not totally perfect.
@jhl930 (3605)
• United States
6 Apr 08
i would honestly rather praise people rather than just complain all of the time because that is just going to make both of your lives miserable if all you do is complain about them doing something wrong or something like that...i mean i don't like people to complain about me all of the time so i am going to try and not complain about them anymore than i have to...thats just my honest thoughts on it but i am sure that you will get more... jhl930
• United States
8 Apr 08
Glad that you are focused now on praising people. It does tend to make life better.