What position do you take in your romantic relationships?

@dloveli (4366)
United States
April 21, 2008 4:52pm CST
I have been rethinking the position I took in my relationship. In the beginning of our relationshop I did everything for my man. I cooked, cleaned, made his appointments, I even took his shoes off when he came home. I did these things to show him that I was a woman who takes care of her man, her whole family. I wanted him to see that I had his back. Well, I think it worked too well. Its now 4 years later and he has gained fifty pounds because he doesn do anything. I have tried to talk to him but it seems to come out as if I dont love him as much as I did in the beginning. That is the farthest thing from the truth. He is my world. He keeps me solid. I still want to do things for him, but when I want. He will literally wait until I come home to fix something to eat. That bothers me. I want him to need me not rely on me to live. I try to stop doing things and he thinks I am trying to leave. Our relationship is great. I have seen alot of terrible things come out of loving relationships. I was very careful when I chose a mate. I researched my soul and his personality and it worked. I love him so much. I dont want to lose him. I just want him to do things for himself sometimes. If I am sleeping or out, make a sandwich. Am I alone in this ladies? Or Gentlemen? What position do you take in a relationship?
1 response
@nicholejade (2430)
• Canada
21 Apr 08
With you doing this for your man and over this long period. He has grown custom to this and this is how things should be. It's not right if you ask me. He needs to get up and do more for himself. My man and I are great when it comes to this. He does alot of the cooking but I do more of the household chores. He never knew how to really clean things properly because being a small child he took on the mans role of being a farmer. He can do the little things but not the big things. He is now starting to do the heavier cleaning duties as I am unable to do them. He even pulls out the vaccuum twice a week too. I hope things turn out good for you and I wish you all the best. Have a chat with him as well.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
21 Apr 08
As I was typing the discussion, he actually came in and read the beginning. I love him for the things he does with me and for me. I love doing things for people. I have been like this since I was little. I just dont like it to be expected of me. You're right he needs to do more for himself. It is such a small part of an extremely good relationship that I will lead by example. From now on when I am cooking, I am going to ask him to come to the kitchen and talk to me. I must say this in his defense. I started this. I think he thinks it will offend me if he becomes independent. I am going to move slowly so that I dont hurt feelings thanks dl
• Canada
22 Apr 08
Take the time that you need to get him acustomed to this. I wish you all the best. Taking baby steps is the best way to go about this so you both don't get hurt.