how would you feel if???
May 14, 2008 6:08pm CST
so here's the thing..i was in a conversation with someone close to me..all is well with the conversation until it went through the smoking thing..see, i've started smoking again when my daughter died..now this person just started lecturing me and what hits me the most into my worst are the words.."do you think your dreams of having another child will come true? no it wont!" exactly how it was delivered just because i was smoking..it hit me at my bad that i completely freaked out and felt like the blame for the child's death was on me..because i was smoking and would not quit the habit that easy..i got ticked off and i completely felt like i should not hope that i will be able to have another child since i wont quit smoking...i felt terrified and hurt...i told the person so..and now it seems like i was so narrow that i am taking it agaisnt the words that was delivered...well people around me specially this person knows how sensitive i could get when it comes to my child..to the fact that i easily get sad and depressed about kids..coz i've been wanting another since my daughter died.. now if you were me, do you think i have all the right to feel this way? or is this person right that i was just being narrow to understand thats why i got hurt with it?
15 May 08
Hi angel_of_charm! Oh, I just want to throttle the necks of those kind of people who readily point fingers and quick to judge and assume. That person has no right to tell you that you can't have a child because you're smoking. I know so many women who were smoking but have lots of children. So, ignore that person and stay away from her. Take Care and Happy Mylotting! God Bless!
14 May 08
I think your friend was very cruel to say that to you. I don't agree with smoking if you are pregnant, but you have been through an awful thing and you are trying to give up, and I have friends that have smoked before, during and after and have had no complications at all. Tell your friend to be nice or go away!
15 May 08
i wasn't smoking when i was pregnant..i know how bad it is for my child and i did quit just for her..so i guess this person doesn't have the right to judge me this way..reason why i got so hurt with the words upon me..
15 May 08
It's normal and right of u to be hurt.. Though your fren's intention is good, but i do think that he has put it too harsh to u.. And if he really care about u, he should no tell u that.. Instead, he should tell u the chance and pros and cons if u continue to smoke, or unless your fren has been telling u the same thing many times, but u just din heed their advice..
• United States
15 May 08
Well angel, let me begin by adding my sincere sympathies. I recently lost my mother, and as hard as that was, I could not even begin to think of losing a child. As such, I don't understand how someone can call someone narrow unless they have walked a mile in the others shoes so to speak. That weight is such a burden to bear, regardless of the circumstances, just because of the loss. The fact that you smoke wont prevent you from having a child, but it will limit that amount of time you may have to spend with any child you may have. I don't think you were being narrow, I think you were reacting out of a broken heart, and thats understandable. Perhaps your "friend" could have chosen a better way to word what it was they said, as I would think they were acting out of concern for you. I hope that someday soon laughter fills your heart.
20 May 08
i'm sorry to hear about your mom..my deepest condolences..i know its hard but at the end of the day acceptance is a big thing to free you from pain..i know i speak from experience..to tell you i have two deaths in family...first my daughter..comes my dear beloved brother after a year..you know i love just how you put it that way when you said this person is concern but just didn't know how to choose the right words..your right this person is very much concern and had called me narrow for not seeing the concern put of it..i know that but the words this person chose just hit my bad time..