When past affects present

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How will you react when you suddenly realized that a past is affecting your present life? I was trying to organize things when he suddenly popped-out in my mind. With no second thought, I tried looking at him from this site and unfortunately I saw him. All the memories rushed in to my mind and I can't help getting mad again. I paused a minute and think of the past. It has affected my present personality so much. I believe in "love" before; which is an abstract feeling that unites two hearts in time. But not exactly the way I think now; love is all in the mind. That I can control and I can choose who to love. I used to cry when I am hurt but now I think of fighting back when someone hurts me. I remember the time we were settling a problem, I thought I was with him but my eye caught his hand trying to past a secret message to the person I hated the most way back college. From then on, I instilled in my mind that I should not trust anyone the way I trust him. No one will help me in times of need except myself. As the "Secret" says, I should use my mind and emotions shouldn't have room in everything I do.