What do i do?
By patzel88
@patzel88 (3310)
Philippines
July 25, 2008 2:27am CST
I tired always reminding their chores at home but still they never got it, they always say that they forgot to do, and they are busy. Yes i consider that fact but i've always seen them they are only watching tv, seating while listening music and lying in bed with nothing to do.
I sometimes do their chores so that my MIL wont yell on them but now i feel they are now abusing my kindness and they are depending in me.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
who are you talking about? your sibblings? or your children? you didnt elaborate it clearly. my children are teens and i have four children. if they dont do their chores i dont give them their allowances. if they dis-obey me i cut their hair. call it cruelty but i find it effective for they are always making it sure that they make their chores. i am a single mom and we dont get any help financially from my ex-husband so if they will not help me then it would make me really angry and they know that when i start to get angry it is hard to control me. lucky me that i have children who are easy to talk to, sometimes we have problems for sometimes we are lazy to do chores but we talk about it.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
27 Jul 08
WHAT? When they do not listen to you, you cut their hair? That is one of the oddest things I have ever heard, excuse my reaction lol. I do agree that you are doing a fine job by expecting them to do their chores. When you do not get any help - and even if you do - with teens it is of utmost importance for them to take care of their things and clean up after themselves. My son is supposed to take care of any mess he makes himself, including crumbs, dirt, dishes, trash, anything, his own laundry, clean his own bathroom weekly and his room, and take out the trash when it is full. I also ask him to empty the dishwasher occasionally and clean up after dinner when he is home. I feel this is reasonable, it's not like I ask him to clean the whole house or do my dishes or laundry or anything like that. My feeling is that if they created a mess, then it's their job to put it back to how it was before so that MOM does not have to spend any extra time or energy fixing anything. It is completely fair, nobody picks up or cleans up after me, nobody cooks dinner or goes shopping for me, know what I mean?
@patzel88 (3310)
• Philippines
27 Jul 08
the niece of my husband. i just realize that it is not fair for me that i do all the chores and i also have my family that i have to focus my priority. when my husband and son leave at home.
But the niece of my husband is ignoring her chores and she always make me cover up with it because she always reasoning that she is busy and she will be late to school but that is all lie because i always saw her lying into her bed and just watching tv. She likes killing the time.
@patzel88 (3310)
• Philippines
28 Jul 08
i also reminding them for there chores but maybe because i am living in my MIL's house, they dont have concern about me. I am wishing to have my own house and i can give my time to my own family.
Thanks for your concern i hope they will realize someday.
@ishralene09 (2260)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
Let them do their chores. Don't be too responsible. Sometimes it leads others to think that someone will always do things for them. It's not right, but at the same time it's not wrong. It's justice. Let them feel that not everyday there's someone to care for them. Let them face the consequences of their actions. Trust me, I do that once in a while and even though I'm youngest in my family(well not youngest but I'm 20 and the youngest is 8 so...) I am able to run the house efficiently.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
27 Jul 08
Oh exactly! My kids do the same thing, try to get out of doing things. I am a mean mom, I say no, you do it because it's your mess or because it's one of the things you are expected to do. As you grow up, you learn how to do things that are adult responsibilities by DOING them. When I was a retail store manager, I had a 17 year old employee who honestly did not know how to MOP! You know what, it was because she never had the opportunity to have this as a chore at home. I had to show this girl how much cleaner to add to the water and how to do it right! It was really silly to have to do this, as someone who is 17 should have learned how to do this before they were 10! My FOUR year old has tried to help me before and she was probably TWO when she first got interested. It's important to take advantage of young kids' helpful natures and inquisitiveness to start teaching them early (while they still care) about how to do things, that way you KNOW they know how when they get older and start trying to get away with not helping or not taking care of their things. Then you just make it worth their time to continue helping even if you know they do not want to - either by giving them rewards like an allowance or transportation somewhere, or taking away privelages so if they do not help, they know they will be grounded and get to do nothing fun. It's really eye opening to a kid who never did anything for themselves at home when they move out because suddenly there's no MOM to do everything, buy groceries, TOILET PAPER, cook for them, do laundry, clean up the dirt all over the floor, etc etc etc!
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
27 Jul 08
Are you talking about your kids? How old are they? I would make them a chart with expected chores listed on there. Every day they did them without forgetting and having to be reminded, they could earn a sticker or a small amount of money. After a whole week of doing as expected, they could earn a prize, a privelage, or receive the money. If you had to remind them more than once, they'd lose the sticker or money for that day. If they talked back or got rude with you, they'd lose the reward for the week, regardless of whether they did the chores or not.
As far as MIL, I'd be telling her they are my kids, not hers and so only *I* would have anything to say to them about them doing their chores or not. If she complained or yelled at them, I'd tell her to do it herself then!
By the way, kids will attempt to be lazy if they can get away with it. Be consistent, repeat yourself, remind them even if you feel like you're a broken record. If you make it impossible for them to ignore you, eventually they will do it, even if they are annoyed.
@patzel88 (3310)
• Philippines
28 Jul 08
they are not my daugther, they are the nieces of my husband. My husband and my kids are living in my MIL's home. One time my MIL and FIL visited their relatives for a week and the niece of my husband has a maid and that is me. I can only complain to my husband because i am thinking that i have no rights to force them to do their chores.
I want to get rid of this situation because i am tired and i think they abusing my kindness to them.
I have two kids and the oldest is 12 years old this coming november and the youngest is 2 years old this september. I have some problems to my son but i can control him and i can descipline him if whatever mistakes he have done.
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
25 Jul 08
dont spoiled d them share the works in the house and after working they can watch tv and so on.
