I dont want to go back.....!!!!!

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I wake up early in the morning,then i escape from my neighbors carefully. i go around town walking,i found where to eat breakfast,then lunch. If i have to do something in some kind of office i do it.,i use public internet for free.I go to catholic church some noons,then come back to internet,when i get tired of this,,i go for a walk again but im so afraid because i owe money to underworld people who can kill me anytime,so i walk around but worriyng.I DONT WANT TO GO BACK HOME NITHER because i owe money to the landlord too,its been 2 months late for rent and power bill.I DONT WANT TO GO BACK HOME, i live by myself,im depressed,scared,and going crazy,,,people give me hope,give me an advice,BUT I DONT WANT TO GO BACK HOME until is dark after noon like 6pm or so.I dont have a car and a job,there's no jobs around. I DONT WANT TO GO BACK,,I DONT WANT TO GO BACK, I CRY,PLEASE HELP!