Are you a bottomless pit?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
September 24, 2008 9:28am CST
Sometimes I feel like I require more attention than I should. I have a great relationship, we talk and share our feelings everyday. I get quality one on one time with my husband everyday and he's so affectionate... I really have nothing to complain about, right?
For some odd reason, I want more! I can never seem to get enough attention from him. I'm always looking for new ways to connect, even though I doubt we can connect anymore than we already do.
I make excuses for my behavior, such as I want all this attention because of how often he works. He does work a lot, but we still find time for each other everyday. Sometimes I wonder if I'm asking too much, and maybe should just give him his space sometimes.
Do you ever feel like you want constant attention when your hubby is home, or are you okay with him doing his own thing and not being with you all the time?
3 responses
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
24 Sep 08
Well, it depends on how much more you want. And what is exactly that you want?
I once read a book on love and how to fill our love banks. Each of us has a different primary love language and if that primary love language is not given by the other party, then our love bank can't be filled until it's full.
What is your primary love language? These are 5 types of love languages: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html.
The problem is, if for example you need acts of service, but your hubby gives you physical touch, then you'll be left feeling that you need more and more and more.
So first of all make sure you know exactly what you need (physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, or quality time?) and whether you're getting what you need or not.
Sorry I'm babbling. Hope that helps. My primary love language is quality time, so if I feel that I'm not getting enough quality time, I'd ask hubby to stop doing anything and we'd just hold each other and talk...or tickle each other.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Very insightful website, thanks for sharing it. I e-mailed it to my husband. I think I fall under the category of quality time, although physical touch came close as well. I think my husband's would be words of affirmation or touch, those are the 2 ways he tries to show his love the most.
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
24 Sep 08
Yes, you can have two primary love languages as well. Ideally speaking, we should learn to speak all 5 languages, but of course to have our love banks filled, we need to receive mostly our primary love language.
Hubby's love language is quality time and physical touch, so I make sure that I touch him a lot he he he he...
Glad to know that the link was useful! ;-D
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
24 Sep 08
It's the same with my wife. She says that I am an attention seeker. But if I don't get the attention from her, from whom shall I get it? There are other moments when I want time on my own to work and relax.
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
24 Sep 08
My husband is a worker, on and off the job. He can always find something to do. He learned to work when he was young and never has forgotten. It takes something for him just to sit down and let work go. I have to encourage him to sit and rest, at times. It doesn't bother me that he isn't around me all the time when he's at home. I usually am doing something I want to do, anyway. We both have computers, and he's own his a times in another room while I sit here in the DEN on my laptop. At other times, we are sitting together here in the Den. We will sit and talk here or in the kitchen. But I have never thought I'm neglected if he isn't around me constantly. I just don't have to have him to make me happy.
