I love you dearly, but please stay out of it.
September 24, 2008 9:15pm CST
OK, here's the deal. I was having lunch with a friend whom I have known all my life. She's a great person; very passionette in her ideals and would give her eye teeth for someone she cares about. So we are having lunch and I happen to overhear the conversation at the table next to us. I think I made an, under my breath comment and before I knew it, I was in a debate with the guy at the next table. It was great. It was very exhilerating(sp) and neither of us was angry at the other, but we did raise our voices a time or two. His friend stayed quiet and listened. He grinned a time or two but said nothing. Anyhow, this man I was debating against said something that annoyed my friend and she chimed in. The thing is, she had nothing to add to the debate. She was just talking off the cuff and he(the man I had been arguing with) ended up getting angry; with her, not me. So now there is a situtation that has gone from debating wherein each of us sees the viewpoint of the other yet doesn't agree to a situation in which there is anger and hostility. I wanted to tell her to shut up. But I love her and I couldn't tell her to stay out of a subject that she feels so passionately about. He and I ended up leaving on good terms and he gave me his email address for future debate, but it just felt bad in the end. So, what would you do in this situation? Would you tell your friend to let you handle it? Or would you do as I did and let her go, knowing that it could spoil the fun you were having? For the record, She and I did have a great afternoon. It was just the one episode.
• United States
25 Sep 08
I would let it go. A friend is a friend, they come with their quirks. The other guy is a stranger, who was nice but may or may not see again. To essentially tell your friend to shut up right in front of a stranger would risk major friction in the friendship. You would be putting her feelings over that of a stranger. If you want to avoid future interruptions like that you might want to bring it up when it's just the two of you. Do it when she is in a good mood and wrap it up very well so she won't get upset. It's still not a guarantee that she won't do this again if it something she feels passionate about. In the end it really just comes down to whose feelings you value more.
• United States
25 Sep 08
Nah. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. Just at the time, it bothered me because this is a situation that I don't get to encounter often in life. I'm a mother of 5, 4 still at home and most of my intellectual conversations involve homework or who is dating whom.