What if you're divorced but married?

I would consider this as mutual understanding for both parties. Each of them know how and what should perform in order not to impact on the relationship and keep it going. Also, when times past, the common topic become lesser and lesser but it does not mean that the relationship is in trouble. It is just change into another method of communication and understanding. =)

Seems my parents were like this for the entire time I knew them until they finally ended up getting a divorce when I was 10 years old. I coudln't imagine living like that. My husband has been divorced three times, I hadn't been married till I met him. We talked long and hard about this exact thing, and what our values were. We realized we were meant for eachother, and then we got married. What's ironic is that I'm in Guelph Ontario Canada, and he's in Sedona Arizona USa because of work. We are living apart, but somehow we manage to really stay together even over the phone. We talk multiple times a day, and tell eachother everything. We have all the same friends, here in Canada, and there in the USA. He is going to be in Canada to stay, in October.

If they notice that this is what is happening they do really need to set and do a good talk way before going to the papers. They may really still love one another and they feel comfortable at what they do in thier life style.

[i]Hi zandi, I haven't met anyone who has the same situation or maybe I have some acquaintance who are in this type of relationship, just I didn't know! ANyway, that is very hard...I guess it's better to be real and to move on if ever they can't fix their marriage now! I know it is possible for them to find someone who will give them happiness![/i]

I think that's a common rut that a lot of marriages fall into. People are busy getting through their daily routine, that they are simply too tired or don't have time for each other. It's then that one of the parties has to step up and take control and focus on the relationship aspects of the marriage and form a closer union with their spouse. In my house, we try to have a "date night" every couple of weeks or so where we do something just the two of us. We will disconnect the phones and watch a movie, or just take off on our bike for a ride to the beach. Anything different from the daily routine where we can relax for a while, we find ourselves more open to talk and discuss our fears and thoughts and it brings us closer together. It's not hard, but it does take effort from both sides to work.

For some it is transitional, for most it's just a way of life. They are accustomed to the situation, they still at least like each other, they have a lot invested still together like children, home ownership, other stuff. There is still some sort of relationship going on. And unless one is frustrated by the situation, or one finds another partner, a divorce will not take place.

i say in this situation both parties are on denial...they can't seem to accept that they eventually are failing the marriage in some reasons so they stay together and see if there still be something that can be done or i also think that they live in one roof still because they don't want close people to know that they are having a difficulty with their marriage...a lot of married people do that i guess its because of those reasons and another reason i could think of are the children..it makes it difficult for them to explain to the children as well as to see those children having a broken home