More Stress Added

I'm very sorry to hear that. I used to take car of my step-dad and he could not do anything for himself. I had to help him bathe, feed him through a g-tube, clean his false teeth, wash is hair and you name it. I had to wipe his rearend when he had to use the bathroom also. It is not pleasant at all. I know how you feel. I am so sorry for the stress. I took care of my step-dad for three years. He was paralyzed. He passed away from aspirating pneumonia. It is such a hard thing for everyone to go through to take care of someone.

Oh man, that's a bummer! I hope it works out much better than the possible scenario you have painted.. It sure is a hard road you are upon right now.. Your father is extremely lucky and blessed to have you!

The most important thing, Grandpa Bob, is to do everything to preserve a person's dignity. You have to remember that to wet oneself is just about the most undignified thing that can happen for most people and having to wear diapers (which are changed by someone else) is only slightly less so. Your dad may seem to laugh at his condition or make light of it or just accept it but, deep down, the shame of it is still there. Some people cope with the loss of dignity by letting go entirely, others by fighting it all the way. Both situations are difficult for carers. The best solution is to constantly reinforce in the patient their self-assurance and the knowledge that they are still in control of their environment in every way possible. Most important is to let them know that you care about them (as well as for them) and respect their privacy, dignity and the fact that their minds are very likely at least half the age they really are!

I am glad the Operation went well for him and that they where not cancerous but it is not good that he is making so much work for you I mean does he not know when he has to go or he is just to lazy to go I am so sorry that you are having more Stress I really am I know I would be ripping my hair out by now

You really need to get a counsellor or social worker, you must try to understand the needs of the elderly, many times they are just like a baby, they don't have the sensation to go to the bathroom anymore, or they cannot help themselves it just comes out. I am not yet 54 and that is happening to me. A social worker trained in the area, of elder care can help you with all these issues, so you can better understand and help your dad, and better cope with all the infinite problems that comes along with elder care.

How wonderful that there's no cancer, Grandpa Bob. I'm very sorry to hear about all of these other problems though. It's obvious that you work very hard caring for your dad, and I can tell how much you love him. It's just that you need a break too, and I hate the thoughts of you having to do all of this extra. It must be so tiring. I guess you'll have no choice, but to use diapers if this continues. I do have memories of caring for my mom when she had cancer, all of those years ago. I was a teenager, but still found it very tiring, and emotionally draining. She used a bedpan, so we didn't go the diaper route. I'm sure I'd find it really exhausting now, at my age. I don't know how you do it, and I so admire you for the excellent care you give to your dad. Hugs to you friend.

I am so sorry that you are still so stressed out. Sounds like to me that your dad is just giving up and dont care any more. Maybe your dad does not even know when he wets. I know of a person that wet also and did not even know that he was doing it.

well mr.bob it,s good that your dads tumors was not cancerious iam sorry he is wetting on hisself this could stop it maybe because he had surgery this is why this is happening and yes this is a added expense but hang in ther god will bless you buy depends if you need to if he get medicaid they will pay for his depends check into it and if he don,t get medicaid then you should apply if you are in the united states.good-luck have a bless day

Hello Grandpa Bob. Learning that your dad's surgery went well, I feel so happy for him. But it is troublesome for him to have to use diapers. I hope that he is able to use it well. It could be better for him to go to the bathroom every so often during the day when he is around in the house to reduce the trouble brought to him due to the operation. Could the doctors do something to help Grand-Grandpa to live the normal life as all the others, please? This way, neither of you will have no more stress added. Best regards to you and your dad.

I am really pleased to hear that your Dad's surgery went well and that the tumours were non cancerous. I am sad to hear that your Dad is having this other problem but I can understand that you need to do something about it. I worked in a nursing home and I know from my experience there with residents in diapers that once they are in them then they become lazy and just try to go in them all the time. We would have a regular toileting routine with them, so that at certain times we would take them to the toilet, this way they do not just become lazy and do not lose the ability to still go to the toilet. It was very stressful working with them sometimes, especially if they number twoed in them, but if he has to wear them then get a routine going of encouraging him to go to the toilet at certain times, it is in a way like a regression back to childhood.

hi Grandpa Bob I would firmly suggest your dad make it a habit of going to the bathroom frequently as it would help him to get better bladder control. I am so glad the tumors were not cancerous. Maybe the doctor could prescribe one of those medications that slow down the frequent bladder problems. I would applaud him like a kid if he stays dry by conscientiously 'goint to the bathroom. Us older ones get lazy and then our muscles get all flabby so we need to be goosed a bit to git up off the couch and go to the bathroom, or walk around the house. If we dont use our muscles we willlose them. I know in somenursing homes I worked in as a nurses aid they have a regular program for helping incontinent older people to become continent again, they make them get up every so many hours and go the bathrom. it would sure save the upholstery not to mention the expensive depends too. and he would get back his self pride too, I know when I was dangerously ill with bleeding diverticulitis I had such horrible dirrahea that they had to put adult diapers on me while they werefiguring out how to stop the bleeding. I felt so horribly embarrased to be wearing a diaper but I could not stop the diarrhea, and they had me on bed rest so I couldnt get up to go to the bathroom. I fainted the one time I got up, so it was bedrest for me.It seems blood irritates the intestines and cause that severe diarrhea. I would insist your pop really take a lot of bathroom breaks. It will be good for him, and save his sel pride too.

Gosh I do feel for you, and for your Dad too. Your Dad is so lucky to have you there taking such great care of him, but please remember that he will probably be no more happy than you are if he has to start using the Depends. I cannot imagine how helpless it must make you feel when youd adult child needs to help you change yourself. The best of luck to you both.

Hi GRANDPA BOB, I am sorry that you are still having problems with your dad messing his clothes, it is one of the hardest things to do because they not children, I wish you can have some help with your dad because soone or later you are going be exhausted and you have to keep youreslf fit, so try and take a rest and get someone to help you out. Tamara

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. My father had issues taking care of himself during the last months of his life as well. Just remember that they feel humiliated and ashamed to need your help. It is far worse on them then it is on you. Good luck.