Was he hiding something?

There are a few things - The guy doesn't want the new girlfriend to know he dated a married woman - what kind of guy is he? The new girl searches his stuff - why is she so suspicious, what has she done or has he done? The old girl- she's a troublemaker, I can't have him neither can you! Answering questions with questions, does that tell you what I think?

i think it is a bit of both.he has hidden about his past relationship and his continued communication with his old girl friend and at the same time does not want his new girl friend to know about it because it may spoil things between them:)

Sounds like there was a whole of dishonesty from the bunch of them. Wonder what the new girlfriend has to hide?

i think in this type of relation there will be some hiding facts as well. your friend should not hide unnecessary things. he is to make the vision clear to the new Gf.

There are the key statements here "he tells her only to contact him at work" and "he makes it really clear she is never to contact him when he could possibly be with the new girlfriend" Those statements pretty much scream that he is hiding something. If he cared about the new girlfriend he would cut off all contact with old girlfriend. Besides old girlfriend is married and shouldn't be friends with someone she had an affair with.

yeah, could be he's just having a nice time with the old girlfriend. He broke off and just want to be friends. He should in the first place, tell the old girlfriend his intention. As for the new girlfriend, he should explain to her the real situation. So as not to create any misunderstanding between them. Or maybe he wants to have both in the same time...

Well, in reality, things like this happen all of the time. I would think that the guy is making the right choice not wanting to talk to the Married woman anymore and only stick with their new girlfriend, and asking the other woman to not call as well. If she is Married she should understand and not be upset, otherwise she might not be the one being Honest with herself and her husband as well. I would just realize it is over, and time to move on, and be Happy with the husband you are originally married too as well.

I think three is a crowded relationship. I would not enter such a relationship because it only leads to heart breaks and it is not worth it at the end of the day. © ronaldinu 2008

I think he was hiding it for sure. He didn't want to deal with his new girlfriend so he kept it a secret. It was wrong. He should have been upfront no matter what the repercussions were.

To me, there maybe something fishy going on. clearly, you can see that the old girlfriend still wants the guy. And to me, the guy would most likely still have feelings for his old girlfriend. Why? If he did not have any feelings, he would not just text or call back the old girlfriend. If I was him, I would not even bother of the messages or pick up the call. And to make the situation much better, I'd rather change to a new workplace, so that I do not work with my ex.

With your statement, there's a possibility that something's going on between him and his ex gf. But, maybe he doesn't want her to call while he is with his current gf because he doesn't want his gf to think anything wrong and might ruin his current relationship. If you are contacting with you ex who happened to be married already doesn't mean anything at all, if they are really friends after their break ups. Of carouse people will suspect about the communication of him to his ex. That's what people do sometimes, just say things without knowing everything.

From what you're saying, I think that he's only telling his new girlfriend exactly what he wants to tell her and I also think that is hiding something from his new girlfriend. The new girlfriend's action, for instance, checking the cellphone numbers and such, under the circumstances, I would understand. Though I would call that being jealous. My take is that she concerned. And then there is the only thing about the boyfriend saying to the old girlfriend to call him only at work and such. I'm tempted to think that there is a lot of things that he just doesn't want to say. From what you were saying what he was saying, I'm under the impression that he was just touching the surface of the whole story.

I think if he was just trying to be considerate of the new girlfriends feelings he would have told her not to call at all. But he obviously still wants that contact. I understand some people are friends after a break up but if you are just friends then why hide it? I would feel more respected if a boyfriend was like hey we're just friends blah blah blah than if he was being sneaky behind my back.

It sounds like he really cares for his new girlfriend and wants/thinks it could go places. Or, maybe he's just done with the old g/f.

dawnald, First and foremost, I think you need to understand we are all born different and we deal with issues differently. IMHO, it is quite evident that he has ended the stigma affair for good and that he has no wish to be a further part of it other than a casual friendship with the married woman as mentioned in your post. All of us have our past, and some of it are just not so edifying in the eyes of the majority general. I am sure, you yourself will have something which you do not wish to bring up and / or disclose, even if it is your husband. Too painful, unfair for the other party, pose a barrier for the relationship? Whatever, the reasons are just some aspect of it as to why one would just want it to be remain as a close door chapter. I do not see implying and imploring for more details would do any further good to a relationship and if I may add here, I just find that rifling through a partners personal effects are just disgusting and obnoxious. Shows the lack of respect of one's privacy (no offense). In life, there's just some people who will create difficulty and complexity for themselves when what is perceived to be a straightforward issue, could be bent and twisted beyond its true existence. Cheers.