Resisting smooth talk.
By alokn99
@alokn99 (5717)
India
November 1, 2008 12:54am CST
I was paying attention to an interesting conversation between two colleagues. One was trying to smooth talk and convince the other to accept filling in his responsibilites during his absence.
What i did note with a little bit of amusement and bewilderment was the the way in which the other was trying to resist falling for the smooth talking effort.
It started with ignorance and not paying much attention, then diverting attention. Further attempts at convincing the person resulted in straight NO and he held on to that position. The smooth talker did not seem to give up and made one more attempt ,and the reaction to this was indeed surprising. It was a direct counter attack with bluntness leaving the smooth talker stunned , not uttering another word.
It got me thinking as to how some of us fall easily for this and yet some seem to be able to hold on to thier stand pretty easily.
How would you resist smooth talkers ?
3 people like this
4 responses
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
1 Nov 08
Alok
I am rather susceptible to sweet tooth. I would do things out of my way for others even at the cost of my own priorities. This is weird for I am smart enough to know that someone is using me but on the contrary pi$$ed off with my stupidity!! My emotions are so overwhelming that I succumb to smooth talks! I cannot but curse myself at the end of it all. This, I guess, is instinctive and I have found myself going overboard helping others without complaints time and again. That's but essentially mimpi.
However, having said this, I am smarter these days. With some bleak things happening in life, I am much stronger now. I still fall but within limits. I am vulnerable when being asked by my loved ones, selective when comes to acquaintances and relatively stronger when comes to colleagues and peers. But I am still prone to sugary words. Saying NO is still the hardest thing for me.
On rare occasions I have put my foot down and stood by my stand and its on those occasions that I have lost my dear people totally. It feels sad but I know that I did the right thing even at the price of an irrepairable broken heart.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
1 Nov 08
A lot of us are susceptible to sweet talk and so was i to a large extent. But getting used by people left me in very awkward situations and i guess i learnt this the hard way.
It is difficult to say NO to loved ones,family and close friends, but then there are also those with whom we share very little emotional bonding ,like those at the workplace,aquaintances,some friends ...In such cases i try to be politely blunt and then resist with some amount of sternness.
It's sad when one has to make huge sacrifices as in you case Mimpi in resisting and saying No, but it is indeed the right thing to do, for the consequence of acceptance may have been even harder to deal with.
Thanks
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
1 Nov 08
I am afraid, that we kinda take being polite and making a point as oxymoron!! It's difficult to to say a polite NO for me. Negating has to be associated with sternness or else people would smile it off. More off putting is our nature to take politeness as being weak!! Even I have learned the hard way Alok. And what do you say to getting used by the people you love the most? Strange but people whom we love may not love us and there lies the risk.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
1 Nov 08
Therein lies our susceptibility, our selective ignorance and to some extent our stupidity in not being able to recognise that people we go on caring for do not reciprocate the same in any way.Not resisiting here will have its price for us to pay and wake up we will , the only thing is whether it would be too late ?
Our basic nature does not change and polite we will continue to be ,but to be able to be stern and adamant is something which we need to conciously adapt. Better to do it this way then to wait for the bubble to burst is what i feel Mimpi.
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 Nov 08
I am probably not the best candidate to expand on an area like this alok because I am a born cynic and highly suspicious these days! lol. I tend to watch body language like a hawk and also read between the lines big time when communicating with people; and the immediate introduction of smooth talk will get my hackles up instantly. My overly wary mind will immediately pick up on this and will brace itself for the hook! What do they want from me? Why do they want it? Where is the angle here? All of these things start going through my mind.
So how do I handle it? Well my bluntness kicks in I guess and I will generally stop them in their tracks and ask them that if they want something from me then just get to the point and ask! lol. I most definitely do not fall easily for this at all. Life has been too unforgiving in this respect for me to fall for this anymore. Beware the wolf in sheep's clothing!
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
1 Nov 08
Oh you have expanded quite a bit James. The fact that you pick it up immediately is atrait which comes with experience. The reaction of being blunt most likely too from experience as well and added to it is the multicultural experience.
You would not been always blunt , but learning the hard way of how people use smooth talking to take advantage is what brings about the most strightforward and easiest of reactions.
Thanks for the response.
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
1 Nov 08
Interesting discussion. I don't know about smooth talking. Probably best to just move along. Cheers!!
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