Just Say No...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
November 16, 2008 7:41am CST
Occasionally we have ppl ask to join MyLot and really we’d rather they didn’t. We know that it may lead to conflict or family stress and so we really don’t want to invite them or even encourage them. Of course they can find the site on their own and join but you know their going to ask you your id so they can “be friends” with you.
How do you tell someone you don’t want them to join or be your friend on MyLot without hurting their feelings? Do you lie about being a member and hope no one finds out? Or do you invite them and hope for the best?
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
8 people like this
39 responses
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
18 Nov 08
Well, recently I had someone ask me to sign them up, against my better judgement I did and gave them my id as well b/c I knew sooner or later they'd ask for it anyways and then I'd either have to give it to them or tick them off by telling them no...might as well get it over with.
[b]~~MY OWN PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF**[/b]
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
16 Nov 08
I am not sure really, no one I have told about this place seems remotely interested in it at all! I think if it happened though I probably would not say that I did not want them to join, I would probably just invite them and hope for the best. I could always pretend to leave, close my account and have a new one if they turned out to be a pain then they would not know then!
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
18 Nov 08
I think it's a novelty thing. I have invited 3 ppl to the site...the first one quit after 2 weeks, the second one is still a member but rarely if ever comes on and the third is here off and on. I'd hate to have to close my account and start over...all that work would be gone.
[b]~~MY OWN PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF**[/b]
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
18 Nov 08
Yes you are right, I think I would rather just put up with it than lose all my work!
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
16 Nov 08
This is a tough one. If my stress level was too high as a result of friend wanting to join my list of friends and I knew the person well enough, I would explain it's probably not in my best interest to have them on my list. Although this may spark some curiousity from the friend and they may dig deeper to find out why. Have to keep in mind that anyone can read our discussions, on or off the friend list so discouraging their joining my list really wouldn't have much impact.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
16 Nov 08
My immediate family know that I come here but they haven't followed thankfully. None of my friends come here so far as I am aware. If they did I think that wed have found each other by now. I don't tell lies here, but I do speak my mind. I am not ashamed of my presence, but it's my thing and that's how I would like it to remain. If someone offline asked me about it I would be honest, but probably not very encouraging.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
16 Nov 08
i have never been faced w/that problem, thank heavens.
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
16 Nov 08
Hi twoey68,
When I learned how to use the compute, my real friend who is a member of Mylot for nearly a year ask me to join mylot but I was a bit scared because I thought I was going to do something wrong, but she taught me how to join and since then I have been very happy and do not know anyone who wants to join, so I have no problem with other people wo wants to join up.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
16 Nov 08
I just have never brought it up. I don't write anything that I would really hate for someone to see anyway.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
18 Nov 08
I just hate having to watch what I say or knowing that I will have to if certain ppl were to join. Hubby invited me here so I should have just left it with him and I but I was a bonehead and blabbed about it LOL
[b]~~MY OWN PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF**[/b]
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
16 Nov 08
I have never had this problem,
the easiest way is just don't tell these people you are on mylot, what they don't know won't hurt them in this case.
1 person likes this
@Yestheypayme2dothis (7874)
• United States
16 Nov 08
Hmmm....I hope that I do not have family or friends on here. They would take everything I say personally. Yet, I rarely talk about anyone but my husband or my mom, and that is all good. Most of my friends do not know I am a member. The only family that knows is my husband and mom. I just would not tell the ones I don't want to join.
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
•
16 Nov 08
Until really put in that position I don't really know what I would do, probably though would just help them join and hope for the best as their are a lot of people here on Mylot they could make friends with...littleowl
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
16 Nov 08
My sister and I will not tell my mom about it. She would be a pain in the buttocks!! We talk about stuff on here we would rather she not get involved in.
I only invite friends who I know will be more like me and others I do not want them to know. So I agree with you. Tell them it is a bad place, lol.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
18 Nov 08
LOL I could do that, huh? Tell them that it's infested with trolls, that their paying in peso's and that you have to type fluent french to belong...well, one out of three being true isn't bad.
[b]~~MY OWN PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF**[/b]
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
18 Nov 08
Hahaha. All I have to tell my mom is that people can see into your computer from here!
She had her computer on, not on line, just on, and was worried that others could get her information and that she could get a virus.
I said, "Ma, having your computer on, but not being connected to the internet, is like picking up your phone, turning it on to get the dial tone, but not dialing."
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
16 Nov 08
I never invite my relatives, but i do invite my friends. Those friends who are good and old friends know me for what i am and they will not feel offended by anything here. No one who joines uninvited can identify me individually as i have a hidden identity.
1 person likes this
@glords (2614)
• United States
16 Nov 08
Thats funny, I feel the exact same way.. this is my free zone where I can say anything I want to. I can vent about my family and friends, or even just vent about me and my own insecurities. I don't want anyone I actually know on here, or I may have to edit myself.
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
22 Feb 09
I agree with you point of view, mylot is one place that can breed conflict!
@CraftyCorner (5600)
• United States
18 Nov 08
That is a tough question. Personally, I don't have any family or non/mylot friends in MyLot. My family members are MySpacers. (I hate MySpace, it has a really dorky interface
) I take that back, I do have one friend who isn't from MyLot within MyLot, but he's not someone I know in real life...
*
I would hope for the best personally as most people here write under pen names, like my Craftycorner.
) I take that back, I do have one friend who isn't from MyLot within MyLot, but he's not someone I know in real life...
*
I would hope for the best personally as most people here write under pen names, like my Craftycorner. 
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
19 Feb 09
I'm sure MyLot would not be happy to hear this, but I don't tell ANYONE I know in "real life" about this site. There are a couple of reasons for this. One is, I think they will think I'm nuts, or falling for some kind of scam. (I know it's not, but they wouldn't know that). Another is, I sometimes do post about people I know, and while I never identify them by name, location, etc., of course they would know in a second who I was talking about. I like the fact that I am farily anonymous here, and that if I post something, all my real-life friends do not know about it. So I'll be keeping my activities here a secret. 
@Shellyann36 (11383)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I don't feel that way about MYLOT in particular however, I do like a bit of privacy. I would rather have some forums that I visit that my family and friends did not know about. I like being able to have some sort of freedom of expression about things that might involve my family and my friends without them getting offended. Or I might even just want to share something with a total stranger through the www instead of confiding in a friend or family. MYLOT is not a problem for me but certain other forums I will never disclose to my family and friends.
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
19 Feb 09
I haven't told anyone I know out there in 'the real world' that I've been spending my down time here. I like to use stuff like this to talk freely about things and I don't want to have to worry about what I say about people or situations. If I want to vent about a friend or family member I don't want to worry about them reading it ya know? Even my blog is only known to a select few people from real life. Most of my friends have never managed to find it!
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
19 Feb 09
Shoot, I can't even keep people I don't want to see anywhere from following me here.
I just don't push accept. If they ask I'll answer honestly... I haven't gotten to the point where I can accept you. I just let it ride for as long as I can then hope they forget. LOL
Um.... side question that has nothing to do with this discussion but another one... you changed your siggy? I'm sorry you had to do that to keep the peace. Know that I respect your right to believe as you see fit... and I respect you for trying to reach peace.
Stand strong and know that you are held with high regard.
