How will I help someone contemplating suicide.
By Jennifer
@flojever (404)
Philippines
December 19, 2008 8:51am CST
He's someone close to me. I thought he had a perfect childhood, so I was quite surprised when he confessed he had been maltreated by his step father when he was just a child. We've never known this as he never mentioned anything to us. Then recently, he confessed the truth(he's 22, by the way) I can feel his pain as he recounted what had happened. I've learned to hate the person I respected for years for doing this to his step son.
He was physically and verbally abused that resulted to his lack of confidence. He believed himself to be completely useless and a failure. I have a great pity for him, but I don't know how to reach out everytime I feel his pain.
I really don't know what advice to give him everytime he mentions suicide. What will I do?
3 people like this
7 responses
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
20 Dec 08
i would tell him, first thing he need to do is forgive his step dad no matter what, not for his step dad for myself.
then he needs to let the pass go for good. and then i would tell him now since he's older and have to live his life for himself.
what his A hole step dad is sad and hateful. things like that will never be forgotten, but can be let go and forgiven.
and when he talks about wanting to kill himself, remind him there are people out there who cares and love him, and you are one of them, and you think he need to seek help to deal with this all. try to encourage him to get him.
i also grew up somewhat the same way but my was my brother, my brother and my dad allow it to happen.
and if you can't encouage him to get seek help, the next time he speak of killinh himself call 911, they will make him to get help, yeah he will be so upset at you but at least he will get the help that he needs to deal with his pass
i wish him the best of luck and you to be strong for him you are a good friend
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
9 Jan 09
forgiving could be easy, but forgetting is so hard. but if he keep talking about then i would have to call someone to report that he's talking about killing himself. he might be upset at first but happier in the end.
but i would then tell him one he needs to seek help with dealing with this, and myself i finally faced my dad and told him how i felt about him allowing my brother to do the things he did not just to me but the whole family. and when my brother did beat the crap out of me and i went to fight back i was the one who gotten in trouble not my brother.
so maybe since he's older and face his step dad head to head and let him know just how this made him fell, and how it effic his life then and now.
but i would also say to him, why would you kill yourself for him? is he's really worth it, how about people like me who loves and cares about you. i don't mean anything to you? yeah it's hard but sometime we have to be hard to help others
best of luck to your friend and yourself
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
29 Dec 08
You are not a psychiatrist so you are not equipped nor trained to deal with this situation. If someone came to you with a broken leg, you would refer him to a specialist and that is what you must do here. You cannot heal him. All you can do is be a friend. Tell someone until he is in therapy. Even then there is always the possibility that he might act on his feelings and take his own life. With medication and/or therapy he might return to a normal life. Good luck and thankyou for being a good friend.
@leeapollo (611)
• China
19 Dec 08
en, a very serious topic.
I am not metal doctor , so, I have to say I have no idea to deal with such problem.
I think people need encourage and hope , or something make him feel life is worth and interesting. they need laughing and feel happy.
hope you can find better method.
god bless you all.
happy mylotting.
@bellebads (740)
• Philippines
20 Dec 08
i think he needs to undergo series of counseling. and his relatives and friends should support him in any ways, give him a lot of encouraging words that would make him feel that there's still hope after.
@myskina (182)
• China
20 Dec 08
wow , so crazy ``
let me think about it ```` ah `` the time , maybe the times will rush everything away , yes , take 'em away , because it is already hurt so deep in his mind , i think that useless to do sth or say sth , so let the time to heal it ````
so friend , try to use the quiet words to talk about with him , do not let the outside noise world to disturb him , he need calm , the space , i think he need to think about their own serious , maybe that's is the best way for him ``
so friend , take it easy , do not worry it's everything gonna be okey , you need a blue sky holiday , so just enjoy your Christmas , Merry Christmas , best wishes for you , he will be fine , trust me ````
@mortalking (84)
• India
20 Dec 08
You are in a very sensitive situation, you can just take him to a cafe and have a coffee or take him to dinner or you can just go on a tour , and try to divert his attention from those thoughts of Sucide . Relate him to a exprence which you have experienced simmilar to his and i think he will reform his thoughts.
