And I Can't Even Get A Date...

Thank you so much for your encouragement. It is so much easier said than done though. I've tried so many times to quit looking, but I get lonely and thus, I start looking again. I really wish my one and only would come into my life because I don't know how much longer I can go without that someone special in my life. I know he will come in my life at just the right time, but the wait really is hard. I do want this man to be good with my children. He will have to be or else it will not work out.

I can totally relate. I want someone who wants to be with me because they enjoy my company not because they think there is something in it for them if you know what I mean. It seems as though I put the vibe out there, but the ones that I want to pick up on it, don't and the one's that shouldn't pick up on it, do.

After 3 divorces and now this seperation, I'm really not going to be looking for a man in my life for a while, preferrably a long while lol. I think I just need to do things on my own for a while, without a man to complicate things. I'll be moving down to Virginia, and then sooner or later, back to Texas. So I'll have plenty to keep me busy.

I'm sorry to hear about you and your s/o parting ways. Maybe it is the best for both of you though. I need to have that mind-set though of being self-supportive. You are so right about that. I'm glad that you are doing well with your split. I wish you lots of luck on finding a NEW s/o who is the right one.

Oh wow, that is a lot of miles to be moving. I'm glad you have an upbeat look on things though. I can understand wanting to be on your own, sometimes I am thankful that I don't have a man around to complicate things more for me.

Hey cutie!!! wanna take me out for coffee???? I will let ya put the sugar in my coffee!

if ya beg I will let you pour the sugar in! lets walk.. it's a nice night and the moon is out! what do ya say handsome? (pssssst! mommy! see?! I don't even know this guy!)

well ...... OK! do ya come here often????

Well, I actually met my daughter father online over 10 years ago. It wasn't an online dating site though, I just started chatting with him in a chat room and then we decided to meet. The rest, well it's history and now I'm still having to deal with him due to our daughter. I have tried a couple dating sites, but I just can't seem to find anyone that I'm interested in or if I am interested in them then they aren't interested in me. This past week, I tried being upfront with someone that I've known for a couple years. Just tried flirting to get his attention and see if maybe he would be interested, but I don't think he is, so I will probably just drop it. I wish I was able to go out and meet new people, but being a single mom and I have no family around me besides my kids, it is hard to find a babysitter. I hope one day I will find someone special. I guess if I keep my eye open maybe he will surprise me and pop up one day.

Wouldn't that be such a glory? Mr Right popping out of nowhere. I sure wish that had of happened to me. Oh well. It still could happen, but I won't hold my breath. I truly hope you find your true love soon, because life is short and you deserve to be as happy as you can be.

Yes, life is short and we all deserve to be happy. You never know, maybe Mr. Right is lurking around the corner for both of us.

I enjoyed reading about how you met your husband. That is really wonderful. I know I was feeling down the other night and I got out the Bible and read a little. The Word of God is very beautiful and has so much meaning. I appreciate your advice very much. I know I have been in and out of church for awhile. I was actually raised in church and when I left home I had quit. A couple years ago I started back up but I have fallen out again. I still have my faith in God and I do read my Bible. I know God will send me the direction that I need and eventually will send me the man that I am supposed to have in my life. Thanks so much for your advice. I love having you respond to my discussions. You always bring so much to the table and such great advice. Thanks again!

Hello, and I appreciate you taking the time to read, and respond to my comments. I am so happy that my point of view can help a little. I am happy to hear that your faith is strong, and pray it continues to grow. I appreciate your kind words saying that I bring so much to the table. The internet has opened up a whole new world for so many. The lonely, and isolated can finally reach out in anonymity and vent in such a way that just may save their lives. There are so may people out there hurting in so many different ways, and loneliness is only one of them. When I read the comments of others, I go through a stream of emotions depending on the content. They range from joy, to anger. I try to stay away from the ones that make me angry, and try to concentrate on the ones I have something constructive to say. And, I avoid the temptation of opening my mouth in a nasty way toward those that make me angry because not knowing exactly where they are coming from, I could cause more damage than good. I like to think that I can utilize this forum to get to know people from other cultures, background, and countries, and.....maybe make some good friendships in the process. I can remember growing up, and being sent to just about every church activity there was. During that time, I watched as my parents never went, and the people I came in contact with showed signs of hypocracy. Yes, I was young, probably about 10, but I had already been through so much (that's another story) and I was smart enough to realize that I had a lot of common sense. Ever since, I have traveled down one personal road to another, not really finding much I considered to be very fulfilling. So, for most of my life, I too was in and out of church. More often then not, I continued to live my life the way I wanted, finding myself running into brick walls from time to tme. One day, I physically ran into that brick wall! It's a miracle I'm still here, and is testimony to the reality that God isn't through with me yet. Anyway, over the years of doing I pleased, and running into 'brick walls, at intervals I could see and feel myself being snatched on the spot by the strong long arm of God, and gentley being put down on a different path. This seemed to happe to me over and over. Until one day, I finally got it! I wasn't strong enough to fight God's Will for me. For every attempt I made to run in the other direction, He kept yanking me back as if to say "No, that's not where I want you to be. This is where I want you! Sounds too far fetched, right? I know I must sound like I'm off my rocker, but my only defense is that God knew I was looking for him, he revealed himself to me, and showed me a glimpse of what heaven was like. Ever since, I stopped fighting Him, and started to listen, and obey. It was a miraculous turn of events for me that put me on the path I am now. Once that has brought me so much joy. The voids in my life were filled, and although I like most people have my problems that challenge my faith, I understood to stand firm in God's promises. After all, if God is for us, who can be against us. So, as the bible says, put God first in all you do, and the rest will take care of itself. I'm sure we will have more discussions on this, and maybe we can help each other. Sometimes it's easier to see things when you are on the outside looking in. That's a place I had been for most of my life, until not too long ago. Now I live my life to the fullest, complete in every way that counts, and I try not to give others the power over my joy. Lots of people out there live their lives in anger because bad things happen to them, and they blame God. What they don't realize is that the devil is doing all of this, and he's winning the battle when we blame God. The bible says the devil is a liar. And, there have been many times in my life when I have had to remind the devil of the liar he is. When troubles come to my doorstep, I try to keep my faith by remembering that it's all about choice. We either chose to be happy, or not. And when we chose to be happy, that gives God much pleasure. The easiest way I can say it is that God wants you to be happy! The road to happiness can mean enduring loss, and pain on the way. Just remember that when one door closes, another opens! It isn't over until God says, "It's finished"!

Hi singlemommy, and thank you for responding to my message to you. I look forward to reading your blog (you can count on it), and I'm sure I will enjoy what you have to say. I myself, was a single mom for a very long time. But, that was primarily by choice. There's a saying that goes, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'. That's one of things I held onto over the years to help me get through. Also, for as bad as we think we have things, we can always look around us and find any given person who has it worse then us. For instance, our children may complain at times about something like their shoes. They may not be designer shoes, or they may have come from a second hand store. And because of that they are embarrased of what the other children will say, and tease them. But, when we open their eyes to the fact that if they really look around them, and truly tried, they could find another child who is worse off then them. Let's say there's an unfortunate child in their school, neighborhood, or on tv that doesn't have any legs, or feet to put those shoes on. Wouldn't they learn to have a better appreciation for the shoes they do have on their feet? At least they have feet, or legs for that matter? The same holds true for each an everyone of us. We tend to dwell on what we don't have instead of giving thanks, and appreciating what we do have. There are basically two outlooks at life. There's that of having the glass half full, and that of having the glass half empty. They are the exact same thing, but one is a pessimistic mindset, the other optimistic. For all that we think we don't have, or all that think we have just done too much to deserve to have a full happy life, we could turn that around on ourselves, as well as on others. It's so easy to be worried about the things we don't have in our lives, and much harder to thank God for what we do have. That happens to me a lot. And there are many, many examples in life as well as in the bible to show us that it could be worse. When things that 'stink' happen to me, I try to remember a number of things that help me get through. One is the story of Job. Job had everything, and God gave satan permission to test Job's faithfulness in any way he pleased. But, God did put limits on satan. He told him he could not harm, or hurt Job in any way. So, satan proceeded to take everything from Job that he had worked so hard for. He took his flocks, his herds, his property, his money, and yes even his family. But, still, Job did not blame it on God. He remained faithful, and continued to pray. When satan couldn't turn Job away from, he went back to God for permission to inflict physical pain, and illness on Job. Since the lost of his family, and material possessions weren't enough to turn him away from God, all that satan had left was to torture the person in every way he could imagine. And, although God allowed satan to do this, he still put restrictions on him. For the rest of the story, all you have to do is read your bible, but the point is that we can all do what Job did. We are all the same beloved princes, and princesses of God. And just like Job was tested for his love of God, so are we. If he can pass the test, have all his possessions, and family restored to him, then so can we. The thing about forgiveness is that if starts with us. We have to be able to forgive ourselves and others for the mistakes made in life. If we can't forgive ourselves, or forgive others, how can we expect God to. Life is going to be a continual test, and how we come through those tests will be the determining factor of how we end up. All too often when we hit a bump in the road, of something bad happens to us, we do the opposite of what God wants us to do. We blame him, and turn away. Every day we do that we put more distance between him, and us, and in the end, our happiness. The very happiness that God has wanted us all along. Just like we want to protect our children from harm, and we teach them important lessons that will prepare them for live, so does God. What do we do when our children keep breaking the rules over, and over? We look for harsher punishments? Don't we? In the long run, we do the best we can, and release our young into the world praying they will make the right decisions. But most of all, we pray they find happiness. That's how God looks at each of us. There is so much to say, and so many examples that can be used to shed light on all of those terrible things that happen to us. The hard part is remembering them when they do. And we HAVE to learn from our mistakes. Reading your bible is part of the lesson. Understand what is says is another, and putting it into practice in our lives, is yet another. But continually striving to achieve the goal of learning from your mistakes, and not repeating them, will eventually lead you closer to what God wants from you. God puts opportunity in front of us all the time. But we are too blinded by our own vision of what we want for ourselves, that we can't see the opportunities God puts in front of us. Key to all of this, foremost and utmost is to put God first. I can't stress that enough. No matter what others think of you, it's really what God thinks that counts. I know you have what it takes to reach the end of your rainbow. And I know you understand it will happen in Gods' time, not yours'. You've already got such a good start. And, who knows, maybe you'll find your way back to a loving church where you will be accepted, loved, and nurtured in a way that only the love of God can do.

Yes, I do try to take my children to places like that. I don't really think the internet thing is for me anymore. I mean I've tried it before and it didn't work out. I am trying not to stress about it and maybe you are right, maybe I am coming off as being desperate. Thanks for the advice.

I have tried the online thing, it just isn't for me. I have no luck on those sites at all.

You are very wise for only being 16 years old. You should find someone who matches you and not settle for an arrogant girl who isn't a match for you. Good luck finding that special girl.

Thank you so much. Yes, I can relate to the married me and the ones in serious relationships. I have those offers all the time. I've been in the situation and actually just got out of that situation and I don't wish to be in it again. I want someone who can be my "full-time lover" and not just a "part-time lover". I want so much more than that. I feel I deserve much more than that. Maybe I am trying too hard. Maybe I should just walk away from trying to find someone and then maybe he will just pop up and surprise me. My New Years Resolution this year was to not think that anything good was going to happen for me this year. That way if nothing happened then I wouldn't be disappointed and if it did happen then I would be surprised. Maybe that's real pessimistic, but I get tired of getting my hopes up, just to get them dashed. Thanks for the advice.

I don't think we should lower our standards. We should find exactly what we want. Maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high now days because people just settle for the first person who comes along.

Maybe that is partly my problem too. I tend to be friends with men too. I find it easier to be friends with men actually. Don't get me wrong, I have female friends, but I tend to be able to get along with men better. I have had those friendships with men before and wanted to make it more and been turned down. I hope you and I both find someone special soon. We both deserve it. We just can't settle for less than what we deserve.

I guess it is a sense of freedom, but to me it is a lonely freedom. I'm happy for you that being single is great for you.

Thanks so much for your advice. Maybe I do come on too strong and giving off the wrong vibes. Thanks again!

That is a wonderful story. Thanks so much for sharing it with me. Yes, I do want Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now. I could have some men, but they aren't who I want or who I need in my life. I know he will come along when I least expect it and right when I need him most.

Yes, I believe that he will eventually rear his head and I will know when I meet him that he is the one. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve and I don't plan on it. Thanks for the encouragement!