how do we tell her...

Philippines
January 31, 2009 10:27pm CST
Hi everyone, it has something to do with one of our friend. Every time there is a party or an outing she usually tag her entire family, like husband and two kids, even if it was agreed upon that it would be a gathering within the workplace only and not to bring a family. She would usually find ways to tag along her family like she will just follow and when she arrives the entire family is with her. Now we got a friend who is getting married soon and the invited guest are only few for the budget is not too big. Our problem is how do we tell her that she should attend the wedding but she should not tag her entire family along. She does this all the time. Please help.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Bebs08 (10687)
• United States
1 Feb 09
Hi my friend, I know how it feels when we have invited guest who is tagging her whole family around. That happens in the Philippines but you can not see that here in America. In here, If only 1 person is invited in the family, no other would come with him/her. The best thing that I could share with you is to have a pass card. Give each of your invited guest passes. Write on the card.. GOOD FOR ONE PERSON ONLY. then there must be an usher at the door of the restaurant where you have the party. The guest will give their pass card/ticket to the usher and no pass no entry. You should assigned somebody at the door who can not be bribed.. hahaha you know what I mean? somebody who has no favoritism and has strong personality. He should know that if the guest will be more than the passes that you gave, he will answer the shortage. Lol. That's what we are doing when I was yet in the Philippines. You should also indicate in your invitation cards that the seats are limited and only those who have passes can enter the venue. This is very effective if you will have it in a restaurant but if the reception is in the open area, then don't expect that you can control the unwanted guests. Good luck.
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
thanks for sharing that my friend. that is true here in the Philippines if you invited one member of the family they expect that all should come. this is a big headache to those who host the party. I will try to share this with my friend who is marrying soon. I pity this girl for they are in a tight budget and she only reserved for 100 guest in the hotel and any excess would mean any extra payment for them. thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10687)
• United States
1 Feb 09
wow!! 100 guest? they are not in a tight budget. ahahah I thought only 50.. well anyway not all guests can also come so there might be some vacant slots but, to be sure, give passes and put it in the invitation cards. We always do that. Good luck again.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
3 Feb 09
I guess if there are only so many seats then that is understandable.
@riyasam (16571)
• India
1 Feb 09
i think the best way is to be frank with,beating around the bush doesnot help much,as has been proved earliar. happi posting.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
we have always been frank friend and usually if it is a company get together it was always been as clear as black and white that family is not included but then she still tends to bring along her family if they don't join in on the way to the location of the trip usually they come around lunch time. do we need to tell her in her face? she's really hard to manage.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
3 Feb 09
That could be a good thing that she wants to bring her family and share what she does with them, but there are also those times when you should have time away. Does she love her family that much?! Which, is a good thing don't get me wrong or is it her husband don't trust her to go anywhere without them? Because then that is not such a good thing. Have you ever tried having a girls day? You should try doing that and inviting her, see if she brings her family or if she just don't show because it is a girl thing. If one of those two things happen then just don't invite her to the wedding, But then again isn't a wedding ment for friends and family? How can you expect to invite people and expect them not to bring at least their SO? I understand the budget is low, but it is still something most people bring family too. I would be very insulted if you invited me and said my family couldn't come! I honestly wouldn't even show if my SO wasn't invited with me. In a way I think your being rude for the wedding part, but I can understand the other situations if it's not ment for no one but co workers.