Do you think its okay to do things you like that impact others negatively?

By Amy
Abernathy, Texas
February 18, 2009 8:18pm CST
If you speak loudly and another is offended or annoyed by it - maybe because they have a headache, or you're cursing or talking about subject matter that offends - would you pipe down or say you're in a public place and can therefore do what you want - its a free country? Or say you're in own home and feel you can make as much noise as you want no matter how it effects neighbors with sleeping kids, early work days etc... If you smoke - cigarettes or p@t, and it triggers allergic reaction (coughing, or red, irritated eyes), asthma or headaches in others - would you stop or move far away? Or do you feel its your right to smoke in public or your own home? Speaking of p@t do you feel its okay because, as my neighbor says, it helps you relax or sleep (never mind the millions of braincells it kills). If you drink, and your drinking behaviour effects others because you say or do offensive things, are more likely to cheat, break things or physically hurt others, are you willing to not to do it around these people or do you feel its okay - your right? What about behaviour that impacts others, like always being late, negatively affecting others schedules, setting up co-workers to look bad as well for meetings where time is crucial? Or heavy perfume wearing (which can go along with smoking as smokers don't have an acute sense of smell) when it can cause migraines, massive migraine attacks and trigger allergies? Or again, do you feel its your right to wear what you want, when you want and its too bad for those around you, who will be negatively affected all day or even trigger a visit to the hospital for those who suffer from asthma.
2 people like this
5 responses
• United States
19 Feb 09
I don't feel that the majority (those that wear perfume, smoke, talk loud, swear, smell bad, etc) should restrict their activities for the few. Whenever you go out in public, you run into all types of people and behaviors that you might find offensive. If you have some sort of physical ailment that prevents you from being out in public, you should just stay home. There is no possible way that society can bend and twist itself to accomodate every individual preference or need. A building can't clear out because an agoraphobic walks in, and a million other examples. If you look at the larger picture, you will see how it's insane to want everyone's problems and likes/dislikes to catered to. We live in an extremely selfish, and "me" oriented period in history....so much so, that all logic has abandoned most people. It's hard to see logic and truth when a person is self-absorbed.
• Abernathy, Texas
19 Feb 09
Not sure what the agoraphobic example is about. But I do appreciate your other opinions. I'm just asking though, if you are considerate enough not to do things that harm others if you find you are. Very true that many are selfish. So I wanted to see who was selfless enough to stop engaging in behaviours that hurt others.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 09
I don't think it's a matter of being selfless. If every single offensive behavior were banned, no one could live a normal life. They would be terrified they were offending someone. As far as the example of an agoraphobic, I was using it in reference to your comment about perfume. It's the equivalent of people having to accomodate a person with MCS (multiple chemical sensitivty). An agoraphobic has anxiety attacks when they have to be around others; but I wouldn't expect everyone to wait outside until the agoraphobic was finished his / her business. We are not talking common courtesy; trying not to offend and/or affect everyone around you is not possible in a social society. When people have these issues, they are asking too much to have everyone alter their behavior to suit them. It's insanity
• Abernathy, Texas
20 Feb 09
Actually an agoraphobic isn't afraid of others but of leaving the house.
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
19 Feb 09
I think that anything other people do that costs other people to live life in peace shouldn't be done. I hate smokers exactly because they smoke in public, because they feel like everybody's against them just because they're killing themselves. Well, I couldn't care less if they slit their throats - as long as they don't spill blood where I'd see it (OK, that was too much, I probably would mind a lot). I don't care if smokers smoke as much as 10 packs a day, but they should respect my right to a clean environment, free from smoke when I pass through public roads. I don't piss them off, why should they piss me off? Good day! http://thingswelovetohate.blogspot.com http://canihascheeseburger.blogspot.com
• Abernathy, Texas
19 Feb 09
I don't care if they smoke either, its their bodies but as you say, as long as it doesn't impact others! Our neighbor is in private but it impacts us because his apartment is attached to ours by two walls and right now I'm sitting here with burning eyes and I had to take two Excederin Migraine and I shouldn't because I'm still nursing. Plus what he's doing is illegal. I'm going to check out those addresses - are they your blogs?
• Abernathy, Texas
19 Feb 09
trying to leave a comment on the ala carte entry but it won't let me, keeps just loading!
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
19 Feb 09
You should call the police on your neighbor LOL Yeah, they're my blogs. Too bad you can't leave a comment on them, I always allow non-registered users to comment. Thanks for visiting though!
@MinruWind (194)
• United States
19 Feb 09
It depends on the person I'm talking to. xD But I wouldn't try to offend anyone when in public, unless it's a joke or something like that. I don't think it's fair for others if you are noisy. Smoke does bother me, but I try to aviod smoking areas. Though I think the people irritated by the smoke should move somewhere else, unless the smoker was smoking in a non-smoking area. Either way, I think smoking is still bad for anyone's health, so I don't think it's okay. If you do drink, I think it would be wise to have someone to lead you that won't drink. They can keep you under control (hopefully) so nothing bad happens. I believe it's not fair to ruin someone's day because you had a bad day, so it's rure to be late to a meeting or to trouble someone else for your own reasons. Heavy perfuse is not usually needed, and it does get irritating for many people (I know I get irritated) to be around a person with too much perfume on.
• Abernathy, Texas
19 Feb 09
There are designated smoking areas, its true. But some smoke in areas not designated for them, like bus stops. And if its raining o r cold, non smokers don't want to stand outside the shelters. You're right about ruining someone else's day if you have a bad one - which many revel in doing, being rude to their own customers, or their nail person, etc. I'm irritated by perfume simply because it ruins my whole day, the intense pain and nausea of a migraine because someone passes me wearing heavy perfume, or the cabbies who use those strong deodorizers or incense in their cabs. And irritating in a different way, those cabbies who just smell bad from eating copious amounts of certain spices. So I almost ask him to pull over so I can throw up.
@jillhill (37379)
• United States
19 Feb 09
No...it's called being courteous....having respect for someone else. I smoke but not around others....when I have company I go outside my own home so they can be comfortable.....I do however also watch how much perfume I wear as I can have a reaction to others that wear way too much!
• Abernathy, Texas
19 Feb 09
I always figured you for a polite person, its once again confirmed. You actually go even further by leaving your own home. I'm not a smoker but I feel that if we expect others to step outside in our own homes, we can expect them to want to smoke in their own. Unless I'm with my toddler. You obviously think of others ahead of yourself. :)
@Aurone (4757)
• United States
19 Feb 09
I try to not to be offensive that way. I try to at lest be respectful and not wear too much perfume. Now there have been occasions where I or groups I have been with have offended people, and I try to apologize when we were in the wrong, but if someone is just eavesdropping well then thats their problem.
• Abernathy, Texas
19 Feb 09
Eavesdropping is totally different, and kind of rude in its own way. I mean, for instance, groups of teens who are very loudly cursing and saying very lewd graphic things = many times just to shock. And there are kids around. Wearing perfume I think is fine, I'm glad you don't bath in it as some do. Or use it to cover up not bathing for a month or smoking too much.