what do you do when....
By CRIVAS
@CRIVAS (1815)
Canada
May 22, 2009 10:06am CST
What do you do when you try to help someone, and they get mad at you for it? I was in a situation like that yesterday. While I knew that this person was really embarrassed and shaken about the situation, I also knew that it was something that needed to be taken care of sooner, rather than later. Unfortunately, said person didn't see it that way. This friend of mine, told me that the only thing I had done, was to make them even more embarrassed and upset about the whole situation. What was I supposed to do, they asked what they should do? Was I supposed to just say: "Don't worry, everything will be fine?", even if it really wasn't going to be fine if they didn't do something about it? I'm so confused. Right about now, the only thing I do know, is that now this friend of mine, isn't speaking to me anymore. I really need some advice. I'm really angry, all I treid to do was help, and now I'm being punished for it.
2 people like this
3 responses
@dmrone (746)
• United States
22 May 09
Let things have a few days to calm down, and then try to talk to your friend. Hopefully a few days will help this friend to understand that you were trying to help, and you both will be able to see things clearer. It will give you time to try not to be angry, and the friend time to see your point of view. If after a few day, your friend does not want to speak with you, then leave it alone and go on. Things have a way of working themselves out with a little time, and if they don't work out then maybe you will be better off for it.
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
12 Jan 12
Thank you for the advice. I sometimes wonder if I would be better off just not saying anything at all. I love the fact that if I have a question or concern, I can post it on here and people like you will help me through the tough topics. Thanks again for responding and I am very sorry that it took me so long to get back to you. Tahnks again.
@chillpill90 (1936)
•
22 May 09
First of give her some time to calm down and when she has had some time she might realise that you were right. I think that if you had lied to her and said everything will be fine and it wasnt then she would blame you for not warning her and so by telling her the truth you have been the best friend you can. Also if she was embarrased surely she realised that by talking to you about it some advice you were going to give might make her more embarrased. I think that you should leave it a few days then try to contact her explain that you didnt mean to embarrase her and were only trying to help but she should know that anyway. IF i were you and after a few days she still doesnt want to know then i would wait until she contacts you as you havent dont anything wrong and she is over reacting.
I think you have been the best friend you can to her and you shouldnt be upset as she asked your view and you gave it.
1 person likes this
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
12 Jan 12
Thank you very much for the advice and I am very sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you. I am happy to say that your advice worked, she called me to say that she was sorry for over reacting and we are fine now. It really helps that I have friends here on mylot to help me with situations like this, I have actually told her that she should join the site too, as there are many people here who have really good insite into everyday issues that she sometimes needs advice with. That way she doesn't just have me to rely on. Once again thank you so much for taking the time to resond to my discussion. I really appreciate it.
