nursing homes

@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
United States
June 4, 2009 11:29am CST
[em]sad[/em I'm sure most of you have had the experience of having family or friends in a nursing home. Yesterday my friend Jan was taken from rehab to a nursing home, how sad. She wants to go home so bad, i'm afraid she never will. nursing homes are good in their way i guess but u sure see some pitaful people there. SOME OF THEM ARE PUT THERE & THEIR FAMILIES JUST FORGET ABOUT THEM, THAT'S SAD TO. I figure what goes around comes around.JAN WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN. IT WOULD be nice if people would just go visit whether they have anyone they know in there or not. why not adopt one of them in your heart. THEY NEED U. WILL U DO IT. THANKS.
5 people like this
13 responses
@Citychic (4071)
• United States
4 Jun 09
Nursing homes.......... Sorry to hear about Jan. As sad as it may be sometimes nursing homes are the best thing for people who do not have anyhow to take care of them once they get to be elderly. I don't understand why more family members don't all get together and take someone like Jan into one of their homes or have Jan to come and live with them. It sounds as if you care for her quite a bit, have you thought about taking her into your home? I think it would extend her life to be with family members. As for going to visit a nursing home I might consider doing it as a volunteer effort sometime in the future but right now I'm trying to make a living. Besides at the nursing home they have rules there and you must be careful to follow the rules to the letter or you might be doing more harm than good for a person that's there. You make a very good point though about adopting one of them into your heart.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
4 Jun 09
THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE. Jan just has one son & he doesn't do a real good job of taking care of himself & his family. she has to help him alot instead of the other way around. No, i have not thought of taking jan in because i'm in bad health myself & could not lift & tug on her. Well, i know what u mean about making a living i did that for 47 years, raised two boys by myself but tried to have time for people that needed me. I don't think being kind to someone would break any rules.
3 people like this
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
4 Jun 09
My mother had to go to the nursing home two or three times after she had the stroke that caused her to be bedridden. She only stayed about two or three weeks each time. Even though she couldn't communicate with us any more, we could tell that she was happier at home. When she went to the nursing home, I went to see her everyday because I missed her. I'm so sorry that your friend Jan had to go to a nursing home instead of home. I hope she will get to go home one of these days. Yes, it is sad to see the shape some of the people are in in these nursing homes. It's also sad to see the way some of them are treated! I worked as a nurse's aide in two nursing homes several years ago and some of the aides who had been there longer than I had were mean to the patients. You wouldn't believe the language some of them would use in front of the patients, especially the ones that worked at night. They also don't have any patience with new nurse's aides. I don't catch on very fast, myself, and I was one of the ones they didn't have any patience with. It was hard on me. There's no telling how many times I came home and cried. I talked to the LPN coordinator about this at one of the nursing homes one time and she was shocked about the language they used around the patients. I also talked to her about how I was being treated but it didn't do that much good. She must have talked to at least one of them because I noticed she (the nurse's aide) started being a little nicer to me after that. When I first started working at this nursing home, they were pretty laid back. However, they had quite a turnover while I was there and several people were let go, including the administrator. I was let go, too. It was just a big mess.I'm actually glad I'm not there any more. I'm glad I took that training at least. It really came in handy with mother. She went from walking with a stick to a wheelchair to bed. If I had not taken that training, I wouldn't have known how to take care of her. Well, enough of my troubles. I still go to sing and play the guitar at one nursing home every month and I see the shape some of these patients are in. I enjoy it and it makes me feel good to know I made them feel good. I've been doing this since I was in my 20s. Kathy.
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I'm glad to know that some of the above people worked in good nursing homes where the nurses, CNAs, etc. were good to the patients. Some nursing homes are just not that good. I guess I was just one of the unlucky ones. Happy mylotting and have a good night. Kathy.
3 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
5 Jun 09
BLESS YOUR HEART I's so sorry u had such a bad experience. Some people can really make your life miserable & seem to enjoy doing that. Nursing homes have got to be a hard place to work.I know it's hard work & such an emotional place to work to. I BET U GOT ATTACHED TO ALOT OF PEOPLE, I SURE WOULD HAVE. iT TAKES A SPECIAL PERSON TO WORK THERE. aS FOR THEM BEING MEAN TO PEOPLE I COULDN'T HANDLE THAT.. i sure wouldn't want to catch anyone being mean to my family or my friends. I do hope jan gets to go home but i just don't know. If anybody can, she will. She's a survivor. I'M glad ur training came in w/helping your mom. I'm sure u felt it was worth having for that. BLESS YOU, FOR GOING EVERY MONTH. That is sooooo kind of you & i know they all enjoy that. You are a special person for doing that. THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE.
2 people like this
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I worked in one beauty shop and one health spa doing nails. I sure enjoyed this a lot better than the nursing home. I also did my mother's nails a lot while she was still living. Kathy.
2 people like this
@jillhill (37379)
• United States
4 Jun 09
Many many years ago I worked in a nursing home.....but in a very good one..where they did their best to make it home for the residents....I have an elderly gentleman whom I have adopted... He never married so somehow he took a liking to me. Now I send him cards when there is something special...or sometimes just to say hi.....when I have time I bake him cookies and go visit....and he truly enjoys it. He is nearing 90 soon....and still tries to get out once in a while....Hope your friend finds some peace etc in the home......
3 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
4 Jun 09
WHAT A WONDERFUL THINGS FOR U TO DO JILL, God will bless u for being good to him. I know he looks forward to your visits. I'm so proud of u for doing this. SO many times people are too selfish to take time to do something for someone else. THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE.
3 people like this
@suzzy3 (8352)
4 Jun 09
What a shame for her to lose her independence so much,she really needs looking after,personal care feeding ect.When I worked at the old peoples home we had stroke victims so sad,normally fit and healthy ,the next thing they are being looked after,they used to be the most awkward clients bless them ,the nurses were brilliant ,caring and patient.We all tried to make their life interesting and made them feel cared for ,letting them do things for themselves if they could.It made them feel better and increased their feeling of well being.
3 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
4 Jun 09
It is really sad to see jan the way she is. I JUST HOPE SHE CAN GET TO GO HOME AFTER SHE HAS MORE THERAPY. What she has had so far shows no improvement in her at all.THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE AS ALWAYS. HOPE U ARE HAVING A GREAT DAY.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
5 Jun 09
that would be nice, but I'm already spread pretty thin as it is, but I guess you could say I'm visiting since I go to mom's all the time
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
5 Jun 09
U ARE VERY SPECIAL to go see your mom all the time. SO many children don't do that. THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE.
3 people like this
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I don't think so. I think good parents get good and loyal children. many of the people there also have their kids visit too
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I'm glad they do but it doesn't happen all the time & that's sad.
3 people like this
@anniefannie (1737)
• United States
9 Jun 09
it is sad to send some one to the nursing homes when they don't have anyone to take care of them.so many of them don't live long either because they believe they are just put there to get rid of.it is so too with so many of them.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
9 Jun 09
GOOD MORNING ANNIE FANNIE, Thanks for your response. U are so right. They are put there & forgotten.
2 people like this
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Yeah when a person was put into a nursing home . some is abandoned by his family and others forget them. For a long time they dont visit them. Person in the nersing home is need of visiting .
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
5 Jun 09
THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE. Uare so right, so many are forgotten once they are put there. Have a happy day.
2 people like this
@TrvlArrngr (4051)
• United States
5 Jun 09
It is sad. I worked in a nursing home when i was still in high school. I worked in the recreation department so I got to know the residents. I would see residents waiting, sometimes in the lobby, hoping that someone would come to visit them. very sad. they would see others get visitors and yet they would never have one. they lived full interesting lives with lots of kids and friends and successful jobs but yet no one came. It made me furious so I started to go in on my day off and visit with some of them. Just to sit and talk to them made them so happy but no one could take the place of their family. Such a shame. a crying shame.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
5 Jun 09
THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE. U were so kind to do that. God will bless u for your kindness. It is very sad the way people are treated by their families especially. U have a great day.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I used to work at a nursing home. It is so sad with alot of the people that are in there. I do not work there anymore but I became attached to a few of them there and would go visit with them every now and then. They do need love like everyone else does.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
5 Jun 09
HI STEPH, I don't see how u could not become attached to them. I know some of them are mistreated but i sure wouldn't want to see that. thanks for your response. HAVE A HAPPY DAY.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (115237)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I have worked in nursing homes. I wish we had a better way to care for people. They do become just like family when you are around the same residents all the time.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
5 Jun 09
HI GG, I know what u mean. i would become too attached to some of them hope all is well w/you. haven't heard from u in awhile. HAVE A GREAT DAY.
2 people like this
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
4 Jun 09
You are so right. I visit my grandmother in an assisted living home just about every week and I rarely see anyone else visiting relatives in there. It's really ashame. Either the residents have no family left or the family just "forgets" about them like you said. That's why I like to take my kids with me when I can because it puts a smile on a lot of the resident's faces there. We sit around and talk to whoever wants to chat with us and it's a good feeling to know that you can put a smile on someone's face even if you don't know them.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
4 Jun 09
GOD WILL BLESS YOU, SHAR. It is wonderful that u go see your grandmother. I WISH MINE WERE still living so i could go see them. I HAVE ALSO SEEN ON TV WHERE PEOPLE take pets in to see the elderly & how much they enjoy that. I mentioned taking my dog to see my aunt but my son didn't want me to. she is so strong he was afraid she'd pull me down because i don't walk real well. HAVE A HAPPY DAY. THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
7 Jun 09
Hi Antiquelady! I've been wanting to visit the folks in nursing homes so much but I don't know how to get started in doing so. I have so much respect and love for the older folks because they are so wise in life dealings although they're quick to trust and now a days is a no no. Besides, if it weren't for them, we wouldn't be here! Maybe one day I'll get past this ridiculous fear of mine and go see someone, any one who needs a friend. Who do I ask? A nurse or aid once I walk inside?
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
7 Jun 09
HI CATS, That would be a good thing & once u do it that will break the ice. Why do u have a fear? Surely u know someone who has someone in the nursing home. IF U DON'T I WOULD JUST GO & TALK TOSOMEONE IN THE OFFICE & EXPLAIN TO THEN U WANT TO ADOPT A FRIEND. I bet there is people there who never have company. The ones that are sitting in the halls look at you so needy of a smile & a hello. GO FOR IT GIRLFRIEND!!
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
7 Jun 09
I think I will one day. My fear is stupid but a fear nonetheless, is looking stupid and that I can't hear well and because of that, I can not understand accents so if one where to have an accent, I have a terrible time understanding them. Even with the slurring of words, I have a hard time even with hearing aids. It's like I have to retrain my brain to the sounds I've never learned as a child or as an adult because it wasn't until I was about 35 before technology caught up with me and my type of hearing loss that a hearing aid was made to fit me. Maybe I'm a little paranoid but it's how I feel and is what I fear. I don't want to look stupid to anybody. On the computer it's easy to be me because I can read everything and don't get too far behind if at all. Does that make any sense?
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
9 Jun 09
CATS, I can certainly relate to what u are saying. my aunt was deaf all her life & she didn't let it stand in her way. yes, she missed alot of things people were saying etc. but she did well i thought. she also wore an aid & it helped her alot. when she was young she rode the bus everyday to a town 60 miles away & went to beauty school. i admired her sooo much. i admire u to for telling me your fear. please don't let it stand in your way to do anything. U CAN DO ANYTHING U WANT, U GO GIRL. GOODLUCK. Thanks for telling me. hugs to u.
2 people like this
@JenInTN (27547)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Heyya jo! As you know, I used to work in a nursing home. It is sad that they are left there sometimes with no visitors. I haven't been able to do it in a couple of years but I used to like to make gift bags and me and the girls go visit. They really enjoy it. I think there is a little star in heaven for anyone that takes a little time for them.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
10 Jun 09
That was a sweet thing to do & good for your girls to go w/you. I THINK KIDS NEED TO SEE SOME OF THE BAD PLACES & A NURSING HOME IN MY OPINION IS A VERY SAD PLACE TO VISIT. Don't any of us know when something might happen to us & that we could end up there to, HEAVEN FORBID. Take care, jen & thanks for your response.