Will You Date Other People to Test How Much You Love a Person?

@payout (3722)
United States
June 11, 2009 3:11pm CST
"Gay Relationship :) Well my Boyfriend wants to see how far he will get with a person. See how much he loves me and stuff. It's confusing some. But yeah He wants to see if he will kiss them or go any farther. He tells me he wont go as far as kissing probably. Just talk.. I said then what's the point of this.. He said even if he does end up liking someone he will leave them and cheat on them for me. It's weird.. ? What's your Opinion? What Would you do?
2 people like this
7 responses
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
12 Jun 09
Gosh, it was sound like an advantage for him instead of you. Would you be okay with that if that really happen. Won't you be jealous? For me, I just can't take it with this suggestion. You on the other hand, make sure what he meant by that. You can't test how much love in that way.
2 people like this
@ersmommy1 (12598)
• United States
12 Jun 09
I am married. So I would NEVER do this. But it doesn't sound good. If a person truly cares for someone they wouldn't be testing boundaries like that. It's too hurtful.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Jun 09
If you have to go to the extremes to go out with others just to see how much you love someone then its not "love" its Lust and like. If you love someone you shouldnt have to do that in order to find out if you love someone or not. and personaly if it was me he'd be out the door faster than he could blink. And also if hes willing to cheat on someone else for you what makes you think he wont cheat on you to be with someone else. Common sence really if hes willing to cheat then hes going to end up cheating on you or someone else which is wrong and not right.
2 people like this
@leyisa (487)
• Canada
12 Jun 09
My dear, basically it seems as though your boyfriends want's to cheat on you with your approval :) You dont' need to kiss another person to see how much you are inlove with the person that you are with now. In my opinion, it's not right. I wouldn't let him do it. here is a question for you: Would he allow you to kiss another guy to see if you still love him?
2 people like this
@underdogtoo (9596)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
I don't know about other people. I never liked talking about other people and what they do and how they think. I have more important things to think about like, myself and what I should be doing. Cheers!!
2 people like this
@phyrre (2322)
• United States
11 Jun 09
That definitely sounds weird to me. If you're really in love with someone then there shouldn't be any need to test that love, especially not by kissing someone else or possibly going further than that. That doesn't sound much like love to me, no offense. And it's possible to love someone and be attracted to someone else. That's normal. It happens to everyone. What defines real love, though, is being attracted to someone else and not acting on it. I think it's a tough and weird situation you're in, but if that was my boyfriend saying that, I think I would begin to doubt his commitment to the relationship. That's just me personally, but if he really finds that he needs to test himself to see if he really does love me, then that would be enough to make me doubt if he really does.
2 people like this
• Canada
12 Jun 09
Have you been in the relationship for some time already? It sounds to me like your boyfriend is looking for that "thrill" that comes at the beginning of a relationship... that sort of boost to your self-esteem when you know someone is interested in you. You feel attractive, sexy, interesting, flirty... It seems that he really wants validation -- he wants the satisfaction of knowing that other guys are interested in him. In my opinion, that kind of behavior is absolutely destructive. It's playing games with your feelings. I would really be concerned by the fact that he says he would cheat on someone else for you... that is (unfortunately) a two-way street and it's pretty indicative of a lack of (or fear of??) commitment on his part. Since you asked what others would do -- I would not stand for that in any relationship, personally. If I'm committed, I'm committed. I don't need to "test" my feelings and I would expect not to have to "test" my partner's feelings. If my partner wanted to be messing around for other people's attention (assuming we were not in an open relationship), I'd very likely be gone. I take my relationships seriously and I expect the same from my partner. If I don't receive as much as I give, I don't need to be there. I wish you much luck and I hope you just make the choice that feels right in your heart. Protect yourself ;)
1 person likes this