The Guy Rules (usually we heard about The Girl Rules)

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Finally the guy's side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good) Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are not mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it up. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tide. Let it be. 1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we will never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every questions. 1. come to us with a problem only if you need help solving it.. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that last2 17 months is a problem. Go see a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is admissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like Victoria Secret's girls, don;t expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways make you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 color, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. we do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you said "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want a answer to. Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.. really. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But do you know men don't really mind that? It's like camping. 1.