Saying I'm sorry....and interesting concept!
By jillhill
@jillhill (37353)
United States
July 14, 2009 3:57pm CST
Last week I drove up to my sister's in Mpls. and stayed overnight as she was taking me to the airport in the morning. I had just barely arrived when she went into her office and brought back a card to show me. It was from her ex husband whom she divorced 22 years ago.....the outside said "I have no excuse" on the inside it said, "I am so very sorry!"......well she said it just about knocked her socks off! First she was angry and then when she thought about it.....it was a very pleasant surprise. I have been divorced for over 30 years....my ex never said he was sorry! If he had things might have been very different. Does it make you feel better and more accepting of a person when they say they are sorry? Has an ex ever sent you a card or called just to tell you years later that they are sorry for what they did to you?
7 people like this
12 responses
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I think that was sweet of your sister's ex-husband to send a card. Atleast she had some idea that he did feel bad about the way things happened and there was a divorce.
I do feel better if someone tells me they are sorry especially if my feeling were hurt. I can't relate to an ex-husband because I've only been married once and we just celebrated our 40th anniversary. I am a lucky lady or maybe he's a lucky man..lol
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
16 Jul 09
NO, my ex never said he was sorry but i can say he was, lol. I talked to himahile on the computer last year but he's still the same old a$$hole he always was & hasn't changed abit that i can see. I JUST QUIT TALKING TO HIM. hE ALWAYS DID UPSET ME & BEING RID OF HIM FOR OVER 30 YEARS IS A BLESSING.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
17 Jul 09
They must habe been kinfolks to, sounds very famaliar
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
15 Jul 09
My Ex Husband said sorry yes, he promised to change, but never did
He then kept saying sorry, then turning nasty and threatening me
In my eyes if someone says they are sorry, they do not turn to threats or anything like that shortly after
If the Sorry is meant, yes , I accept, but I knew with my Ex it wasn't, he just tried to play the usual mind game with me but it did not work anymore after 21 years of it working
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
16 Jul 09
The only way to be exempt from my wrath is to say you are sorry And mean it.It should come from the heart or not at all.A fake I'm sorry will make it worse.That is the reason I hate receiving flowers.I see them as the fakest apology on the planet.But with that said ,if a person apologizes from the bottom of their heart I accept it.It does take the sting away and better still the revenge I was planning is stopped.
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
15 Jul 09
Heavens to Murgatroyed - he took long enough about saying sorry. Twenty two years. Unbelievable. I am sure that I would have forgotten who he was by now. her only satisfaction is that he is probably trying to make amends for what he did so long ago and his conscience is troubling him. am apology given graciously is always a pleasure to accept. I am glad that he did it after so many years.
@sweetashoney (3597)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Say your sorry is nice if the person really means it. I know people that say it so often that its nothing but words, they think that it will get them out of anything that they have done. I have been divorced for almost 19 years and my ex-husband has told me that he was sorry, this of course was years after we parted and he admits that it was his fault. I think sometimes when some people get older they realize the mistakes that they have made. Of course if it would have been me that got a card like that, the first thing that would probably cross my mind would be something like "OK what does he what" or "I wonder what he's up to now"
@sweetashoney (3597)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Your right, I don't know what he put your sister through or what type of person he is. This could be something that he really means from the bottom of his heart. If that is the first thing that also crossed her mine, then I would still be on my guard for a little while.
@eaforeman6 (8979)
• United States
14 Jul 09
If the person sincerly has evaluated all their conduct and realized that they were wrong, it can show that they do have clarity at some point. It may be because of the clarity that they finaly take responsibilty for their words and actions. I know that we cannot expect this from all x's. I have not received a card, but I am not expecting to see one either. It would be a real surprise.
@AmbiePam (120533)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Wow! I imagine that is very rare for a divorced person. To me, it does make me feel better when someone who has wronged me has apologized. Recently, a friend who did something pretty bad to me a couple of years ago sent me a card to apologize, and then sent me an e-mail. I forgive her, but I did not return the e-mail. Just because I forgive her doesn't mean I want to have her back in my life. But it did make me feel better. I had forgiven her before she asked for my forgiveness. If I hadn't, I would have been eaten up with bitterness these past couple of years.
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Yes and I actually made a discussion on it here. My ex and I separated when we were about 24...I'm 53 and a few months ago out of the blue...I got a phone call. He admitted that he felt horrible for all that went wrong with us and said that he still loved me. He wanted to know if i'd consider going out with him again. Honestly, I think he'd been drinking. Either way...it was nice to hear as we haven't really talked much in all these years. I had no desire to go back to those times but it was nice to hear.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I only really have one ex, a boyfriend, and no, he never said he's sorry, and I don't expect him to, but it's not a big deal.
My husband says he's sorry all the time, and that's about all he'll say. It actually makes me crazy because I don't always think he is sorry, he's just saying it so that I stop yelling at him or whatever.
@doggyhouz (548)
• United States
15 Jul 09
This is interesting.
I have always wondered the affect of the word. Sorry just as strong as hearing a your welcome or a thank you.
Very strong affect to the mental stability of someone self-confidence or self-reassurance.
I take sorrys very firmly. I believe when someone tells you they are sorry they are sorry and hope not to ever do it again. I don't enjoy sorry's being throw in catagories like oops, mybad, i won't do it, my apologizes, or excuses me.
There are probably long list of words that people may use in replacement of the word. I hope people don't start taking it for granted because the affect of the word has more meaning to the person receiving the sorry.
I hope your not too afraid to say it or think its "uncool" to use it.
Godbless
@R0CKABILLYBABE (136)
• United States
15 Jul 09
For me it all depends. In this case I would of been in WOW. I think it was grea for him to do on his part. In other cases hearing the im sorry just doesnt cut it nemore when you know that person will just keep doing the mistake over an over again. The words lose value sorta speak. I am not sure if that made any sense lol. My ex for instance he was very verbal abusive, and thought just saying im sorry was gunna cut. It did AT first then it started to just be a bandaid once that bandaid fell off ohoh WATCH OUT! kinda thing. SO 4 me im sorry dont always cut it inless i know that person is sincere. Just like in this case.
