An explosive experience

July 16, 2009 1:28pm CST
As a mutant, I noticed recently that I can change the molecular structure and composition of my own farts, to turn the methane into a highly concentrated gas, powerful enough to propel me in the air. Imagine the applications this would have in engineering and the revolution this would be in everyday life: no need for a car or any mean of transportation, citizens of the world would be capable of propelling themselves through air and space. As of yesterday, I decided to test what I believed what a revolutionary method and, o make the mix even more powerful and volatile, I ingested vast quantities of cabbage and beans. It probably was a mistake. For not only did I NOT take off but I blew a large hole in my pants instead and left a 6 meter-wide crater in the wasteland where I normally go and practice. I have since shelved this particular project for a while and decided to go back and perfect my method of melting plastic glasses.
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