I Need To "Find Myself"...

No I would not wait for my partner if he decided to up and disappear for 3 years. Surely at the back of the husbands mind is uncertainly weather she will go and do it again. I could not live like that constantly worrying that my partner would take off at any minute.

I don't know... at the time of our break down, if he had emphatically stated that he wanted us to continue, I would have, but after a while, it just seemed harder and harder to do. Pride gets in the way, and one gets used to going it alone. But, I suppose, if it's "True Love" (whatever that is) things'll work out. We always hear of these couples who dated in high school and for whatever reason being separated, meeting up in their old age and getting married. Who knows? I don't.

Wow! My first gut response would be to not take him back. After more thinking, recalling how wonderful our relationship had been, I find myself sitting on a fence, unable to make a decision. I'd find it difficult to trust him to not take off again and leave me broken hearted. I've never been in that situation, but my general opinion regarding people who do that is they are not mature and are very selfish.

I don't see how a parent could leave a child to "find" themselves. There's time enough after the kids are grown to do that sort of rubbish. I think the whole "finding" yourself thing is a crock, just an excuse for adults to leave their responsibilities. That's what childhood and the teenage/college years are for! Sorry to be unsympathetic, but once you have a child you need to be there no matter what your own needs are. I wouldn't take back someone who did that to me, leaving our children and me alone. They apparently didn't love us enough to put aside their own needs for awhile so I wouldn't want them back.

What's the name of the book? It aounds interesting. I'd like to read it. To answer your question, no. I would never take back someone would did that, even if they were the love of my love. I'm very visual and need to see the person around me. I wouldn't wait either. I would have divorced that person much earlier. Every person is different, but I think when you take someone back after doing that you risk always being walked on and/or being thought of as weak.

I think that anyone can take all the time they need to "find themself" but it will not be done on my time. If my husband tried to feed me that line of bull he would be off finding himself a new wife. I understand the need to improve ones self but if you cannot do so surrounded by the people that love you then it will never happen. Besides all that, how could anyone, in good conscience, just up and leave their family and children and actually expect to be welcomed back?

I think she should have 'found herself' long before becoming a wife and a mother. Personally, I think it's a very selfish thing to do and I would not take a partnrt back if they decided they needed to find themselves. I hink I'd greet them with ' I'm so glad you found yourself, it's a shame it cost you your family.'

It would depend on how much I loved them and how I felt at the time of return. But my guess that after 3 years or more I would reallyt have to look at them good to see if I really wanted to get back with them!

I have two different answers. If we were married, I would welcome the change.I don't see caring whata husband wants to do. With him gone, I would Finally be able to be happy. But if my boyfriend wanted to " find himself" , I would end it before he went. the " himself" he finds wouldn't be the same guy I wanted in the first place.He would be changed. I wouldn't wait for him.I would leave him and cherish the memories. Now if he comes back unchanged , then we could get back together. But I doubt he wouldn't have changed.

My last husband did that. He left to "find himself" and was gone for a few years. We had a toddler then and I was left to raise her on my own. I took him back twice, but the third time he wanted to come back I said no. My daughter was 8 years old by then and I said if he really cared about her he would stay away and stop causing her so much stress. We were separated for about 20 years before I met my current spouse and things are much better now. We have remained friends (sort of) but I would never let him back into our lives again. My daughter will visit with him on occasion but she knows what a jerk he is and accepts their relationship as always tenative. We all get along well but don't live in the same states, thank goodness. So I do understand people who get back together, but it is more difficult when there are children involved. I was foolish to take him back after the first attempt failed and do not reccommend that anyone do that. Men do not change, they just learn how to play the game.

I could never say never because I am not in this person's shoes. I think of the story of the prodigal son so anything is possible. Forgiveness is a powerful thing and is not so hard, once you decide to do it. I have forgiven things worse than that, not getting into detail, so I might be able to accept back a prodigal spouse.

They went off to find themselves well they can jolly well keep going.How selfish is that leaving a little girl behind and her husband.That is just not right.She should have been bringing up her child making a home,and being the linch pin for the family to rely on.How will the child feel secure in her self if the mother clears off like that.It is different if the parents divorce and the child sees the other parent be it mother or father.That child needed a mothers love to get it ready for the world.There are troops who have no choice but to leave their family.people are so selfish why did they have kids in the first place.

I am not sure what I would do. I think it would depend on the situation. After a long absence I do nto think I would want to take my partner back becase I would want to move on with my life.

Well, I think everyone's situation is different and when you love someone unconditionally and they are so much a part of you that seem to "breathe" them you just never know what you would do. The woman in the book probably got married too young and just needed to learn that she wasn't missing out on anything. Of course there is usually a lot more to the situation than that in real life.

I'm not sure if I could wait that long for them. I think it is a selfish thing to do, especially if there are children involved also. I do not want to be alone for an extended period of time either.

I'm sort of with you on that. I would tell them, "You may think you have found yourself, but don't think you can bring yourself back here." Neither of them would be welcome, not the deserter who went out looking or the one he found. It is so hard when there are children involved, though.

I really don't think I could either twoey because that's one of the most selfish things a parent could do to their child or spouse but especially their child. I think it's just an excuse to trampsize the country or what not for temporary freedom as in her case. Three years is a long time to wait for someone and I'd have kept on going.

I think that people should really know themselves and what they want in life, or are content with their life before they commit themselves to anything. I think it's great that the husband took the woman back. Is this a true story? My fiance and I are content with who we are, so I don't think that will happen. However, if it does, I would take him back, and hope he would take me back if I was the one needing "to find myself".

NOPE, I sure wouldn't be waiting around while they found themselves.To heck w/ that. I would think that was just a good excuse to get out & mess around 7 have a good time w/out me.I think anyone who does that is pretty sorry. They wouldn't waltz back in my lihe.

I think that it depends but probably I would not take them back. Especially if they have been gone that long. I would have moved on I would hope. If I hadn't and still loved and was inlove with them I might. It is very callous and cold to just walk out. Now if the child was older that would make a difference. Married couples have two incomes for petes sake. If the child is still in school it could really put a hardship on the parent left to be responsible. Alot of aspects to think about. I would probably kill him. But that's just me.