What would you advise?

Dear lovinglife139, Thanks for sharing your views here. You are a loving person who appreciate life, love and relationship very much. That is a wonderful character and a good attitude! What you have suggested are very appropriate and practical too! We need to bring them back in time where their love meant everything to them, that they are willing to sacrifice for that 'LOVE' ... Worth give a try...thanks a lot! All the best and happy myLotting! Do keep in touch!

Dear LovingLife139, Yes, our Lord Jesus told us to be the good bride. We should treasure our relationship with our husband. Together no matter what..pray and ask God to bless our family and our household. Asked for God's grace be upon us all the time, his covering and his love. Thanks for sharing and do keep in touch. God Bless you and your hubby..take care!

Thanks! As I believe I have stated in another one of your discussions, I am a Christian so I believe in divorce only for the reasons that Jesus stated were acceptable. Such as if one partner is cheating, the other can leave them, or if a believer and a non-believer are married and the non-believer wants out. I haven't seen anything on divorce for abused and abusive spouses, but I personally would not tell my friend to stay in a marriage if she had an abusive husband. Marriage is the new "going steady"...and I don't think that's right. If you don't find yourself attracted to your spouse, why don't you divorce? Your husband just lost his job...the easy was out is divorce, right? You met someone better, so...divorce? No--marriage isn't about "this will work for now but things may change." Marriage is a lifelong union between two people and that's what makes it special. Being married now I realize how special it is to realize that no matter how many times I try and fail, my husband isn't just going to say, "Sorry, I know we're married, but you aren't living up to my expectations...where are those divorce papers?" If he would say that...I'd have to argue it wasn't true love. Even for non-Christians, marriage is certainly not something to jump into. You have financial and legal issues, eventually child support (if you have and/or want kids) and even moral issues, that will arise if a poor decision ends in a divorce. I don't think divorcees are evil people at all, and I think there are vastly different belief systems out there other than mine, of course. But for anyone who would ask me for advice in that situation, I would never encourage divorce for a temporary or materialistic reason. I went through really hard hurdles with my husband before we even were married. Part of the reason I knew I wanted him to be my husband was our ability to work through problems without thinking, "This is too hard...let's give up!" I also prayed about him being "The One" even though it was obvious to me for four straight years from the time we met until we married. Marriage was a HUGE deal for me, and that's part of the reason it's so important to keep it working and happy.

well, thank you for the marriage counselor mention. am a psychology degree holder. guess, i did my teachers proud there . take care. see you around mylot.

Dear Ritchelle, Thanks for your reply and it is wonderful to hear from you again...I am glad we have an in-house psychologist here. You really make your lecturer proud! Good job, keep it up! All the best and hope to hear from you again on yet another interesting topic here at myLot..cheers!

Dear Ritchelle, you cover many aspects of a sour marriage... can be a marriage counsellor already, very direct and straight to the point...wow! It is true, the cause and effects need to be considered. I think they have to sit down and do "mind mapping" to see whether the marriage can be carry on further or not.. Thanks for sharing and happy myLotting!

Hiya Iriene.. you are a very nice lady and it shines through. I'm glad to have your friendship in this mylot journey. Keep those cool discussions coming..

zed_k4, I am glad to meet you here in this topic! After reading your views, you are definitely be a wonderful and understanding friend one can rely on! I truly agreed with you that one should do whatever it takes to save the marriage! They should see every possibilities to strengthen the marriage to make it a successful one! Thanks you so much for your support! Do keep in touch and happy myLotting!

You are most welcome and I hope everything works out for your friend.

Dear cbeee3, thanks for your wise advise. Saving the marriage will be the first priority. For the children sake, both of them should go for marriage councelling. Sometimes after councelling, they can see that the situation was not that bad... Great, definitely helpful, tks!

Dear Zhizho, What you are saying here have very good facts that the couple involved should calm down and work things out. If they are having kids, this major decision affect their innocent children too. Totally agree with you, divorce should only be the last resort, they should have other solutions to settle any misunderstanding. Thanks for sharing and do keep in touch!

Dear jonjee0203, Yes, 'Marriage are made in Heaven'.... so marriage should last! Most churches have marriage councellors where marriage couples can approach for advice. They will do their best in order to join the couple back because they Do Not Encourage Divorce at all! Thanks for sharing, it definitely enlightening!

Hi James, Seeking for Christian Councellor at the church is a good advise, I believe it can help this couple in their problems. They need someone to help them out to see the clearer picture, the importance in a marriage. They need to see the importance of love, forgiveness, caring and cooperation. It is sad to see that there are manu single parents with childrens as a result of divorce. Thanks for your advice, all the best.

Hi James, Totally agree with you, divorce should only be the last resort, they should have other solutions to settle any misunderstanding. Seek the marriage councellor is definitely a good step to start with. They are experienced and they are trained to save marriages. True, the divorced rate is increasing day by day. It is sad to hear about it.

Dear whyaskq, Glad to hear from you again! Thanks a lot Yes, if we know the whole situation and have evaluated that divorse is the only solution, then as a good friend, we need to give 100% moral support to her. She really need her close friends and family support to start a ne beginning! Thanks for sharing and happy myLotting!

Dear zhuhuifen46, Thank for sharing your views and opinion. Husbands and wives should sopport each other when in need, they should share out any problems and have to be opened to discuss and find the solutions..not keeping it until boiling stages and burst into huge problems that make things worst! Thank you and best regards, do share your views in my other topics of discussions, thanking you in advance!

Dear busky5, Many married couples still 'hang on' no matter how bad the situation because they love their kids! Children will be the victims if their parents choose to divorce. They are innocent and should not be deprived of their parental love just because of the adults mistakes... save the marriage, divorce is the last resort when nothing else can be done... Thanks for sharing, all the best!

Dear osris61, Yes, that is right! There must be something good in the first place, that is why they are together. They should look at the positive sides of their partner, and rekindle the love again! There is still hope! Thanks for sharing, really appreciate it!

Dear bluehibiscus, You may be right too, sometimes we might not be in the right place to advise. We should asked them to go for the professional marriage counsellor who really knows how to handle this situation! Thanks and happy myLotting!

Dear submerryn, 'Once burnt, twice shy'..sometimes being helpful also difficult, if things went wrong, we are to take the blame! I do have a friend, after many advise from all of us (friends), the husband listened and tried to patched-up, but things just did not work out. So, the man remarried, taking his son along! Sometimes, nothing much can be done by third party, I think the best is to let the professional marriage counsellor to handle! But, there is something I would like to point out, someone told me go for marriage counsellor is total waste of time, they met for 2 appointments, and the counsellor advise them to divorce??!!

Dear cwong77, I think I agree with you, get the list of questions for her... but sometimes being her friend, we tend to take sides and bias.... tks for sharing!

Dear philip_shiny, I am so happy to hear from you again, sharing your views that might help some one in need! Yes, sometimes we need to be in another person's shoes to understand and see the situation better. You are absolutely correct, she need to really think twice before make her decision...she need to consider her future too. A wrong decision can end up regret for whole life. Thanks for sharing and do keep in touch! Have a wonderful weekend and happy myLotting, hope to hear from you on yet another interesting topic here at myLot. Cheers!