Living in the Past
By breepeace
@breepeace (3014)
Canada
August 22, 2009 6:28pm CST
I just started seeing this guy, who for all intents and purposes, could have been considered one of the popular kids back in high school. Now, I graduated 8 years ago and am way beyond it, and could care less about status, but it's starting to seem to be like a lot of people in this town are not like-minded and are really living in the past.
He told me today that one of his girl friends was showing him some pictures yesterday and came across one of our Grade 12 photography class, and she made some remark about how she and all of her friends were so mean to me back in high school. I don't recall anyone ever being mean to me, but I do recall that I've never been good with small talk or the little intricacies of being one of the so-called 'high school elite' and I just didn't have much to do with any of her and her friends. Besides I just feel like it's so petty to be.. PROUD of being mean or malicious to someone, or even bragging about being that way if you weren't.
So while we were discussing it today, he mentioned that she did kind of expand on it, and went so far as to call me a 'loser', saying I never went to parties or seemed to have any friends (I actually had tons of friends, although I'm sure snobs like her wouldn't classify my friends as people from up there on her pedestal).
He told me not to worry about it because it's all in the past, but I feel like if it was in the past, why did she bring it up now??
I sort of feel like I want to confront her or something, because I just feel like eventually someone needs to get people like her to snap out of their "living in the past" lives and realize life exists outside of this town. We shouldn't be restricted to who we were in high school -- it's simply not 'real life'. What should I do?
3 people like this
7 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
23 Aug 09
Hi breepeace! You are so right and I do hope that you do
confront this beotch because she is the loser! If someone
needs to live in the past then they are the one that has the
problem! Obviously she is the one who hasn't moved on with
her life so she has bring up crap from 8 years ago! But, then
why is this guy associating with her and discussing you with
her anyway? I would ask him this question too! I would definitely
confront her and tell her how I feel! But, first you need to
find out why he feels the need to have anything to do with her
because maybe you don't need to have anything to do with him!
2 people like this
@breepeace (3014)
• Canada
23 Aug 09
He and her have been good friends since the beginning of high school, so I understand that he's not going to cut all ties with her just because she apparently doesn't like me, as much as he's not going to cut ties with me over it. People sometimes like people who don't get along with one another.
I assume he's discussing me with her because we just started dating recently (we've been friends for quite some time), and you generally tend to mention the person you're dating a lot when it's early days in the relationship.
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
23 Aug 09
I have a friend like that that I've recently run into. Prior to that hadn't seen him for years. He talks non-stop about our past friends that we had in common and does not seem to have moved on. I am wondering if he described the conversation accurately to you. Maybe he brought up your name and she mentioned that she was mean to you back then. Maybe she was and feels bad about it now...maybe wasn't bragging. Either way...I would not react to it or confront her. If you react, you will be bringing yourself to the same level that you are angry about. My advice would be to let it go. From what you say, this girl was nothing to you anyway so you shouldn't care what she thought or what she thinks now. I also think you should really kick back and wonder just why this guy is relaying this stuff to you. It almost sounds as if he is trying to stir the pot.
1 person likes this
@breepeace (3014)
• Canada
26 Aug 09
Actually, I'm inclined to agree with you now about him stirring the pot. We'd been discussing dating for several months, but my schedule wasn't conducive to it, and now that we kind of officially started dating, a lot of little things like this situation are being presented to me as 'something someone said'. It was starting to feel like he was putting me in my place as one of the 'less popular kids' so I'd be honored to be with him and at 25 years old, I am so far beyond it. He can go play his popularity card all he wants, but I won't fall for it.
I gave up, and told him we were done before we even got started on Sunday night.
Thank Goodness. I certainly don't need anymore negativity in my life. :)
Thanks everyone!
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
24 Aug 09
I was always bullied in highschool so if someone like that said I didn't have friends well she would 100% right, because I didn't give in to bullies and I didn't befriend the majority of people who bowed down to bullies like slaves. I was hurt physically and emotionally, of course, but loser I was certainly not especially since I was a solo fighter and there were many of them.
Bullies are losers, without their parents money and positions or big body, they really are worms. You can step on them as much as you can step on any other worm. Have you seen her lately? I bet you she is nowhere as pretty or independent as you are. because that's what bullies are, they can't stand alone, they depend on their bully friends and slaves. My suggestion? Step on that worm, she wants the past, you can give her the past :)
@dragon54u (31633)
• United States
24 Aug 09
Ignore her. She's a small person with a small, shriveled heart and she'll probably never progress much beyond the mean person she was in high school. I despise people like that, they love to make others suffer. Feel sorry for her if you want but don't allow her any space in your mind, she doesn't deserve it.
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
23 Aug 09
I don't think that a girl like her is even worth wasting your breath on. ASeriously, as you said, it was years ago. Honestly, I think that her problem probably has more to do with jealousy than anything else. I bet she looks at the way you are today, living your life and being happy, and the only thing she can do is to dwell on the past as she remembers it, or wants to remember it, so she can feel better about her current situation in life. Don't let it bother you, let the past stay in the past and live your life as it is now. If she happens to ever say anything to you personally, then make some witty reply, such as, "Oh, really? I was way too busy with my friends to even realize you were being mean." That should get the point across.
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
23 Aug 09
I'd be wondering why he's even bringing these kinds of conversations up. It sounds like this 'other girlfriend' hasn't really moved beyond high school snobbery, and is trying to keep this guy stuck in the same loop. Is he half-way stuck there already to run and tell you these things, or is he defending you? You don't say how he says he responded to these childish and unkind attacks.
1 person likes this
