Is appreciation ever an issue when it comes to your significant other?
By phoenix1344
@phoenix1344 (698)
United States
August 24, 2009 4:20pm CST
So I love my boyfriend to death but there are alot of times I don't feel appreciated for all that I do. And I do alot! At the moment I am the only one with the job and paying bills, putting gas in the car, etc. I am also the only one with a licensce so I end up driving him around when he needs it. And don't get me wrong, I love helping him and doing as much as I do but sometimes I feel I've been doing it so long he just expects it? Is this ever an issue with you?
3 responses
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
24 Aug 09
Yes. Although my Girlfriend does more for me, then your boyfriend does for you. She flat out refuses to get a license and so I feel I am forced to take extra time off when she needs to go places, which reduces our income-thus far. The places she goes have the "potential" to increase our income and it is gaining momentum..anyways. I know where you are coming from.
Would it be okay if I offered some advice, if not, just don't read any more.
Ask him to do simple things, little things around the house. If he loves you he will. Then get him to read a motivational book, if he loves you he will. Hopefully by doing these little things he will start to see how much you appreciate it and do more of them.
Cheers.
@phoenix1344 (698)
• United States
24 Aug 09
Thank you so much for you response and for your advice I really appreciate it. And although my boyfriend and I don't live together just yet I could ask him to do little things. Although lately I've tried that kind of. Like simply asking him to make phone calls to places we both are involved in that way its one less thing I have to do and he does it but he complains the whole time. Ugh. But I see your point and I think I am going to be more demanding but then at the same time showing him how much I appreciate what he did so he can hopefully understand it better. Thanks again :)
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
24 Aug 09
When he complains say "Stop It" Don't explain any more then that just say "stop it". This will be hard, but if he continues to complain, say "Stop it, or I am leaving" - I don't mean leaving him, I just mean leaving the room or house or car. Soon he will stop complaining.
It works very very well, but it is extremely hard to do. I felt very very bad about it the one day with Carolyn, we were driving home. She was going on about something that had little to no merit. And I said "drop it or I am stopping the car and leaving you here" - She didn't stop, so I stopped the Car, got out and started walking. I was the one driving. She didn't have a license then, and still doesn't. I got quite aways before I cooled down, and when I got back, I just felt horrid, she had been crying and stuff, but I didn't here another word about whatever it was she was complaining about. So it works, it is just very hard.
No lesson worth learning is easy. Nothing worth doing is easy.
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
28 Aug 09
Sometimes - yes. I think that "trying to be understanding" as a girlfriend can only go so far. I know he's tired because he's been working hard lately, but I work too! And even when he works - I still end up paying for everything since "I make more" .... and on and on and on it goes.
I've talked to him about it - and he's been more helpful these days. Or asked how he can help. Which has been much appreciated. But sometimes he just forgets - and we're at it again.
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
25 Aug 09
For me and my boyfriend it is not a problem. He always makes me feel appreciated even while he is overseas. He send me little notes about how much he misses me and wishes he was here. When he is home its the same he tells me how much he appreciates me which means the world to me.
