Essay/ Commentary Piece: Alien

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I don't know whether you would really consider this a commentary or an essay... But I wrote this in early 2008. Critique it, hate it, but please be sure to tell me what you liked and what you didn't please?:) It's safe here where I live. The winter months are cold and the days are short. Eventually the longest night passes and Spring is birthed. The very most subtle signs of the planet renewing its nourishment stirs - and stirs inside of me that I mostly long for to cease existing. Hope, joy, romantic notions. Hate and prejudiced and jealousy are so foreign to me. I have little use for money other than the necessicities and deny excess. I see others through blind eyes. I cannot fathom how any person can arbor the reverse anomisities. I love. I love to read and write and laugh and dance and sing and play in mud puddles. I love to be in the rain and the crisp winter air and the springtime warmth. To see the oddly bewildered look upon a child's face when they don't understand something or are shocked by it - like getting charge upon coming home by their puppy who simply bum rushes them to smother them in kisses. To study ... how people interact with each other. Their movements - agile or clumsy. Their passion or disdain. Their laughter or tears. How their bodies aren't symmetrical or how they'll eat ketchup but refuse to eat a tomato. I'm lonely, because I'm quite domestic and need and want someone to understand. I can love more than one, just as equally as I can love another, but that's not to assume that I am a s1ut. I am not Christian, but I am not aethiest either - I don't deny certain facts just because I choose not to put the Christian God first. I feel empty and cold and alone, because all I know is love and unconditional acceptance. Most people sit around pissing and moaning about the weather and gas prices and their kids breaking something and politics and taxes. So why does anyone care that I piss and moan about feeling alone?Why come to me breaking past the gates to share your hopes and dreams and faces and quarks and physical intimacies if you can't free yourself to me and give me the emotional. I accepted and loved you without condition. Are you afraid? Are you afraid to free yourself of social expectation and self loathing? Why am I good enough to be your friend or lover or to have you hate me but never good enough to share the hope and joy and romance. Why did you impose these things upon me, breathing life back into me if you weren't going to stay inside the garden. You stand inside the circle or you stand alone in the square box. Close the gate on your way out. You've got it all wrong. I DO live in my own little world, my own little planet. And you people are all ALIENS in it.