Father's Rights

@erikmama (12929)
United States
October 4, 2009 10:45pm CST
As most of you know I am fresh out of an abusive relationship. He and I have a 4 year old son togehter. Although he was not physicaly abusive to our son, I would say there weas some verbal issues with him. My son seen and heard a lot of things he shouldn't. He says he does not want to see his daddy. He does not talk about him at all. He used to tell him he did not like him and he is a mama's boy. I do not want to keep my child from his father, but if he doesn't want to see him, considering the circumstances, should he have to?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@irishidid (8724)
• United States
5 Oct 09
The cold hard fact is the courts will be on the father's side. It doesn't matter what you or your son wants. I found the easiest way to keep them away is to tell the guy to come over whenever he wants. Worked in my case. The ex rarely showed up. My kids were happy about that. My youngest recently turned 18. The ex called. I didn't answer, but I knew what it was four. I told my son. He never called his father back. My son was also four when I divorced. The first thing out of his mouth was "Can we get a new daddy?" That's very telling when a child reacts that way.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
6 Oct 09
I am not to sure about that. Most of the time things are takeninto consideration. Although he is his father and has rights I think if I speak up it would be different. I do not want it to go that far however.
@irishidid (8724)
• United States
6 Oct 09
My ex couldn't keep the kids overnight and wasn't supposed to drink, but I caught him and stopped letting him take them even for a few hours. I made him see the kids at my house. In my case it was do something or there was to be no peace. I can't say how many times he stole my car, the cops were at my house because he kept calling them on me for one thing or another. The kids didn't need that. He didn't really want to see the kids, he wanted me back and to this day still does.
@lelin1123 (15639)
• Puerto Rico
5 Oct 09
I think making him see his father when he doesn't want to will bring added problems to him later in life. If I had been in an abusive relationship I wouldn't want him around my kids at all especially if he isn't interested. I know as the mother you probaby want your child to have a relationship with his father but I would wait till your son comes around. If he doesn't come around it wasn't meant to be. Good luck to you.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
5 Oct 09
Thing is his dad does want to see him. I personally do not want him with his father, but I do not want to be made out to be the bad guy or seem as if I am trying to keep him apart. I think having both parents is the best and it is his dad.
• United States
6 Oct 09
at 4 years old your som does not have a say in whether he spends time with his father your ex has rights! he may not have been the best boyfriend/husband but he deserves the right to try top be a good dad to his son as much as you probably dislike your ex you need to support his rights as a father
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
6 Oct 09
You do have a point, but at the samne time considering what my son has been through he has rights as well.
@hsofyan (3448)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
5 Oct 09
I thought the boy had been influenced by the immediate environment.