Developing Good Character.........How to Help?
By artistry
@artistry (4151)
United States
November 4, 2009 5:52pm CST
If you had a child, what would be some of the ways you would try to help him or her develop good character? How young would you start teaching them?
3 responses
@momof3040708 (59)
• United States
5 Nov 09
I think I'm ALREADY doing it with my youngest, who will be a year old this weekend. If he comes to me and needs me to hold him, I pick him up. I don't leave him with people who would let him "cry it out." When he makes it clear he wants something, like a drink of my water, I share. If it's something he *can't* have, I tell him no, but I offer him a trade or a distraction.
He's already (I think) learning to share because he has people sharing with him. When his needs are met quickly, he learns to trust. A child learns best from people he trusts. He is learning how to treat people by how he is being treated-when we tell him 'no', it's not with yelling, grabbing things from him, etc
I have 2 other children. I know this doesn't mean he will NEVER yell, grab, hit, bite, push, or otherwise hurt another person, or do things he shouldn't. Then, you get them away from the person. You tell them you can't let them hurt someone else.
Now they're probably mad, because you've taken them away from whatever they are doing.
But when they are calm, you can point out how it affected the other person--it made them cry. Let the other kid tell your kid it hurt.
Don't *force* apologies. Mine know about "I'm sorry". They'll give hugs, kiss the other one's "owie" and stuff. It's much sweeter when it comes from a real feeling inside them--and they KNOW then what it feels like to have compassion for someone else.
And it's really simple real-life examples. Like I might let my kids have a snack in the store while we are shopping. But it is *never* fruit, because they have to weigh it and that is how you pay for it. They see me hand over the empty juice bottle to be scanned. I tell them we have to pay for that.
We take care of the things we get from the library.
We watch out for our friends' stuff too.
They don't get in trouble if they tell the truth. And I tell them that, when we're talking about whatever it is, why they're not getting punished is because they told the truth. (for now, it's all little stuff, they're little kids.)
I point out some things when I see them, I might even reward certain things. (like picking up your sister's stuff when she won't)
it's not as hard as you might think--at least not now while they are little.
@artistry (4151)
• United States
5 Nov 09
...Hi momof3040708, What a pleasure to read your response. Your ways of raising your children sound as if you were reared in the very same caring way or you learned your good skills along the way. Whatever way you acquired them, your children are very blessed to have a parent or parents who love them enough to do what helps them to be potentially caring and concerned adults. I like to relate the story of my little nephew hitting his smaller girl cousin, and my telling him never to hit a girl. Years later I found out that he told some of his guy friends that his aunt had told him never to hit a girl, and he carried that lesson into adulthood. It made me feel good that my words had that kind of effect on him. Keep up the good work. Take care. 
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
5 Nov 09
I guess the best way of helping a child develop good character is to teach by example. Adults around the child should refrain from doing anything inappropriate and to show good manners. Also, it is good to talk to the child often, explaining things so that he can easily understand. I also think that these things should be taught to the child even if he is still a baby. Children are like sponges, they hear and absorb everything.
Cheers! 
1 person likes this
@artistry (4151)
• United States
5 Nov 09
...Hi Rainegurl, I would agree tend to agree. People tend to think of children as not being able to know what is going on at times. But children are little people, they observe and take in more than they are given credit for. They will ask you questions that let you know that a particular answer doesn't quite cut it. Then you have to give a better answer. They are perceptive, so best to be straight with them.
There is a commercial on tv where an older man gives a little boy a cardboard cut out truck instead of the toy truck he was playing with and he looks at him, and says "but this is a piece of junk!" It is the funniest thing, but so real, children know more than you think they know. So leading by example would be a good thing. Thanks for your comment Take care.
@artistry (4151)
• United States
7 Nov 09
...Hi kiuhkj, You make a valid point, before children come in contact with anyone else, they are in the presence of their first role models, their parents. These are the people who shape their actions and teach them right from wrong. I have always said, when you see a well mannered, respectful adult,you know the parents took the time to pay them attention and give them love. So here's to all the attentive parents out there, who care enough to be there for their children.
Take it easy.
Take it easy.