How do you feel when you read someone responding to your topic negatively?
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
April 21, 2010 5:23am CST
I know we are all here to do discussions or respond to them. But we can't help but not really agree with everything a person says. Therefore, we opt to either go to another topic or simply voice our opinions against their statements.
How do you feel when you read someone responding to your topic negatively? I don't mean that the person responding is being rude or insulting you, let's just say that they're saying bluntly that your ideas are not really valid. How would you feel?
4 people like this
21 responses
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
23 Apr 10
I suppose when I first started doing online debates, over 15 years ago, I'm sure it bothered me.
But now, I realize that people are going to disagree, and that's just how it is. I barely even notice now. I just respond, or ignore it. Either way, it doesn't made a difference to me anymore.
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
24 Apr 10
Well generally it was pride. How could you possibly disagree with me? How could you not see how smart my answer is? How can anyone not believe what I believe?
And to some extent, I did have a temper. It wasn't so quick, like if you say X, then I'll explode and scream and yell... but I'd let things get under my skin a bit.
The difference is simply realizing that I'm not so special. Just grasping that everyone everywhere lives in a way that makes sense to them. And finally, just making a specific conscious choice that I am not going to allow someone else to steal my happiness.
All of those things are difficult to really incorporate into my life, but that has been my goal. You might call it humility in some ways.
Another thing that has helped, is simply de-personalizing the debate. Instead of saying "I think your views are stupid" I say "I believe that idea is stupid". Which is a difficult thing for teenagers who believe they have it figured out.
But I try and keep the focus on the issue, instead of the person, which keeps the debate civil. Not always, but generally.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
22 Apr 10
I don't let it bother me too much. Everyone has their opinion, and if it sounds like they are really trying to start something or are just being mean, I will not respond.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
23 Apr 10
I would have to say that most of the time, I would not be angry, as there are more things in life to get upset over. Since having a child with a disability, I have found that the little things do not matter. Life has alot of obstacles, and if the we let the little things get to us, you will go crazy.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
21 Apr 10
I feel that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but it's often the way that opinion is expressed that can cause upset. I can live with someone agreeing to disagree with me, what I get upset about is when people are rude in their negative comment.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
23 Apr 10
This is what makes mylot so interesting. If everyone agreed with me I'd just be talking to a mirror as it is when someone doesn't then I start to learn something new and may even change my mind and end up agreeing with them. Different points of view are very welcome here. Hate is not.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
dear laydee,
i would try to be very open minded, get the logic of their opinions and study it and compare with the positive thoughts. then i can decide what to comment after.
have a very nice day.
ann
have a very nice day.
ann1 person likes this
@chenxiaoyue_713 (2165)
• China
21 Apr 10
Such a thing can happen from time to time as we can't expect others to be always in agreement with us. Our purpose of being here is to exchange views, so i see no problem in stating frankly what's on your mind, and certainly i won't feel angry or upset for being disputed. Rather, i appreciate people's different thoughts on a topic because they help me to broaden my perspective. But it someone says something rude, it's more than i can bear. I think everyone here deserves a polite judgment from others.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
21 Apr 10
i dont mind. as long they keep it respectful. people will disagree at time, but as long they dont tell me i need to be like them, we good
1 person likes this
@May2k8 (19788)
• Indonesia
21 Apr 10
I appreciate each of their choices, and we can not impose the will of others to always agree with us. There comes a point where people really do not agree with what we say, for both controlling the emotions and not to heat up the situation I think it is the best way for all of us.
@akuler (3531)
• Malaysia
21 Apr 10
Hi laydee,
I face that everyday online and offline. And I would face it again tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and its would happen until the day I say good bye to the world.
Unless I could find that what I said before was wrong, I would stand with my words. What I can do is providing the facts or proofs of my statement. Or if it is regarding something that abstract (nothing can be proof as wrong or right), I would say that is my choice and I am happy with it.
And if I could counter his or her facts or proofs, I would do it. It would be a great discussion if both parties can keep their emotions out and think logically and respect others opinions.
It would be too boring if there is no disagreement in our discussion. Everything should have an opposite for it to make life better. Just like we have man and women. What can man do without women? or vise verse?
1 person likes this
@ada8may21 (2404)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
If that will happen to me I would feel bad, and get upset. But I still accept his/her opinions and would thank him/her for the opinion or for sharing the opinions.
I would not go to the point to contradict with his idea or opinion coz for me that would create commotion here and I dont want that to happen. That is why I dont post to much discussion just to avoid it.
1 person likes this
@ersanmiguel (476)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
i respect everybody's opinion. i can explain further of the topic but if others won't agree with me then it's their decision.
@catalyser (531)
• Malaysia
21 Apr 10
I would of course try and stick to my ideas and give reasonable arguments. I would ask them to then present their side of the story, their arguments and I would counter them with my own reasoning. I am not a man to stand down against my ideals :P
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
21 Apr 10
Well, I read it twice and try to figure out if they may be right.
Maybe I can learn something.
Of course, it is nice when everyone agrees with you.
But, on the other hand, it is nice to get negative responses too.
This way you can try to understand the way others look at the same situation.
It helps to see things in a different light.
Sometimes others can be right. 
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
22 Apr 10
Some people always want you to agree with them. I figure if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.
Over the years I have found a thick skin is necessary if you want to post online. Unfortunately here at myLot you run the risk of someone rating you negatively if you disagree.
@shibham (16977)
• India
22 Apr 10
hi laydee. nice question.
i have received negative comments not more than 3 or 4 times. if he/she tries to insult me, then he/she will be treated same and also a negative rating. but i have not ever rated someone negative but i treated them with the same manner. have a nice day.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Its fine by me. Maybe some people understand it that way and sometimes when they give replies that are too far out that they tend to give negative comments then I explain again to them that the situation of the discussion. No need to make violent reaction to cause its their opinion and all opinions are correct.
@mackiejp (374)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
We are only human, we feel bad when someone would say something not good for us to hear or read.We can't really please everyone, in one way or another some of our opinions are not valid to some people and we have to accept the fact that their way of thinking does not always conform on the way how we think about some things.Some agreed, some disagreed, some contradicts and some conforms. They are what we consider our challenge to make good opinions, to think even better and effective ideas to share. Don't be discouraged by them.
@desperatehousewife (161)
• China
22 Apr 10
Hi, laydee. Maybe I would feel upset, but I believe it won't bother me.
I've just rated a response nagetive, only one so far. Because I found it really disturbing. I would appreciate a response with its expression in a polite and repectful way. And I respect people who have different thoughts, beliefs or else than me. I once asked a man if he liked watching movies, he replied that only idiots liked movies! Well, I didn't talk to him any more.
