Are promises made to children are rarely kept by the elders???

promises to keep!! - promises are often broken.
@tuyakiki (3017)
India
May 8, 2010 7:11pm CST
I have noticed it many times in my surrounding.Are promises made to children are rarely kept by the elders???What do you think in this regard??? I think,it is quiet true,promises are often made to keep these kids calm and quiet. But quiet often the elders couldn't ma keep it,due to many reasons.
2 people like this
9 responses
@quita88 (3716)
• United States
9 May 10
I know it is done by many parents and it is not fair to the child. There should be other ways rather than promising something fun, to eat,etc to keep the child disciplined. I think a spanking is best when a child misbehaves. I have a neighbor with a two year old who runs across the street and comes into my yard and then into my house. This alone ticks me off ! I would spank her and tell NO! but when I told mama this she said, no! they will take my baby away if I do that ! I think it's part of our society now where kids are in control rather than the other way around. Still a promise not kept is a lie in my book.
1 person likes this
@tuyakiki (3017)
• India
10 May 10
Thanks for sharing.. Probably you value others feeling and you values it,when you give somebody a word.But it is not the same everywhere.. There are many who use this instrument of promise to keep a kid calm. I feel it personally as it noticed it in my surrounding.
1 person likes this
@quita88 (3716)
• United States
10 May 10
I do value other's feelings. I always stand by my word however I do understand not all do......... I see it too tho. Even my daughter in law tho a good mom promises hoping the kids would mind and just go away sometimes. She has three boys and her hands are full. I understand but all the same a promise is a promise regardless. Don't make a promise unless you intend to keep it. Hang in there.
@JenInTN (27546)
• United States
9 May 10
I think that any promise made should only be made if it is going to be honored. If I don't know for sure that I can do something at the time I say I can..I don't promise it. In my opinion, I think that it is very important to teach children the value of the word promise.
1 person likes this
@tuyakiki (3017)
• India
10 May 10
Yes!! You are absolutely right. Its very important to teach the kids the value of the word 'promise'. This will help them in the future.Thanks.
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@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
10 May 10
That's the way I am. I don't make promises I can't keep.
@keval32 (1099)
• India
9 May 10
Promises are only made to children to keeping them calm....sometimes if child says 'I want to go to zoo right now'. At first we would say 'Dear, it's not okay to go now". If child irritates us (and sure will) and keep demanding, then we would say "Okay..When ur father comes from job we'll go there Okay?" Child would be okay and calm to hear this and stops demanding anymore. What happens after father comes? Father says, " I have much work today, I can't go anywhere." Child will hurt, because we've broken promise. When we have promised him, he assumed that when father comes we'll be there at zoo, he starts doing imagination like There would be Lion, there would be lot of Monkeys, there would be panda too etc....... But when all his imaginations doesn't seem to come true, he feels really hurt. And the lesson he learns that breaking promises is Okay and not a big deal. By the time he also starts to break promises. All is the fault of elders.
1 person likes this
@tuyakiki (3017)
• India
10 May 10
Yes!!Nice post. It is a very realistic example. It happened every now and then to the kids.I feel really sorry for them and,the most important thing is,the kid learned to break a promise.. Thanks for the post.
1 person likes this
@evepin (723)
• Philippines
9 May 10
hmm, for me that shouldn't because this action teaches kids that it's alright to break promises, and that's not good. we should always set a good example to them. i dont try to make promises i couldn't keep to them (or to anyone).
@tuyakiki (3017)
• India
10 May 10
Same is here too. I also don't like to promise if I know,that I couldn't keep it.Then I say,that I will try my levels best.Thanks for your post.
1 person likes this
@jdyrj777 (6543)
• United States
9 May 10
I have always felt that truth is the best policy. I never did that to my children when i was raising them. In turn they are not liars. Even when they were in trouble they told the truth. I always told them if they lie when i ask them something and i find out they lied they will be in worse trouble. So they told the truth right off when i ask them. Thats one thing i can not stand isa liar.
1 person likes this
• India
9 May 10
I think that you are correct that promises are made by parents or elders to children just as an easy way to keep them quiet and to avoid tantrums.But if there are too many instances of promises not being kept, then children tend to feel that they cannot trust the parents and elders and begin to not listen to what they say.Hence I feel that when demands of children are within acceptable limits then promises could be made or the children may be made to understand why a certain thing cannot be given to them with proper reasons for the same.In this way, children would see the fairness in the words of parents or elders.
• India
9 May 10
Yeah, It is quite true. I have young nephew. Whenever he come to our home, he just keeps on demanding things. Sometimes it is possible to fulfill the demand, sometimes it is not. I you say a NO straightaway, he starts crying. In such circumstances, it becomes necessary to make false promises, that my lovely sister does. But, as on my part, I do not make any promise unless I can fulfill at least a part of it. It may seem harsh on the child to say a NO, but it prepares him/her for the adverse situations he/she might face in the future, right from the beginning.
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
9 May 10
I don't think my parents ever made promises to me. It might have been because like JenInTen said, they didn't know if they could do whatever they said they would or not. In other words, sometimes something would come up at the last minuet and they just couldn't do it.
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
9 May 10
That word in that last sentence up there was suppose to be "minute", not "minuet". Sorry about that.
@tuyakiki (3017)
• India
10 May 10
That mistake is not at all important.. Most of the times the elders are busy with their work.It is always not possible to keep every promises they made to the kids to keep them calm.But among the kids this breaking of a promise leads to a negative impression about the parents.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
10 May 10
I just thought it could have confused you because the word "minuet" is a musical word. It's true that it's not always possible for the parents to keep all promises. I just don't remember my parents ever saying they would promise to do something.
@besthope44 (12141)
• India
28 May 10
Well most cases yes, they are rarely kept by elders and disappoint the kids, so this is a bad habit.