Classy behavior-[cultured, decent, stylish behavior]-- what causes this?

Hi, The behavior you mentioned here may have two different causes. A person may learn and adapt it with a belief that this habit will bring him great prosperity in future. He learns what is best from every possible sources and then assimilates them and with a continued experimentation with it finally come up with an amicable and classy approach. The other reason may be just that the person is in complete peace and harmony with himself. He didn't learn anything from any person or tradition. He didn't adapt anything from outside. He just loves being himself. He went beyond all disturbance and finally reached a point where there is no conflict within. This is what I call development right from the core. Serenity achieved this way is less volatile than that adapted by mere learning. When people becomes philanthropic just because it is appreciated in a certain culture, the habit becomes rather imposed. But when a person starts loving others spontaneously and require no concrete logic to support it, his love for mankind is sincere and permanent. A person shows discordant and aberrant behavior only if he is disturbed and dissatisfied from within. Characteristics like jealousy, lust, hatred etc are just demonstration of lack of peace within one's self. Harshness in behavior is just an evidence of a dried up self, devoid of all positivity and hope. If genuine love and hope can be restored in human heart, classy behavior will spontaneously be reflected outside. Thanks God bless you

Hi Kala! To my mind, it all depends upon one’s profession/job and the environment where one works. I have observed that those who are in trading and business, they keep shouting with high pitch voice all the day. However, those who are in white collar jobs, behave in a decent and comfortable manner. Having said that, I would like to add that exceptions are always there.

There are many causes for this....besides the ones you have mentioned, the most important one is the person's motivation and the person's genuine want to develop a classy behaviour. Even people who have neither of the conditions you have mentioned have been able to inculcate these qualities. It is their will power and determination. Lack of classy behaviour is in the same way...the lack to appreciate what it really is. some people think it is creditable to be rude to other people and behave like they own the world.

The cultured,decent and well behaved children,teenagers,and adolescents owe their behaviour to their parents as well as their schools.The upbringinging of their parents to some extent enable the children to behave in a good manner.The schools and the teachers and their friends go a long way to help them to behave in a refined way.

Hi Kala ! It is always what the person sees as a child he project when he grows up.So one can easily say that it depends on the family atmosphere when the person was a child.Where there is mutual respect among the family members and the self esteem of the child is intact, there he grows into a polite and straightforward adult.Where there is abuse and lack of respect he develops the vices.Some onn attaining maturity learn to change.That is emotional maturity.

Hi kala, very nice discussion. I think it is something to do with being secure. Insecurity brings on the opposite behavior. :) Therefore, a person who is beaten up at home will have repressed feelings which surface in the so called unsocial way. May be it is the way to hit back at the society. Fear can also bring vulgar language. I think under ideal conditions, everybody is cultured, decent, stylish, and well-mannered. :) Take for example, a friend who says she will come to look after me even when I have categorically mentioned to her that I am not interested in her. Now, she says you will need somebody. Of course, I will. But not her or her sister. :) Then she says her sister likes me. Does my liking not matter? When people fend such questions a 100 times, they get fed up, and thats when nasty behavior starts. Shrewdness and greed on the part of others provokes such behavior on the part of some people like me. :)

This in fact is a right mixture of everything you have mentioned.First and foremost is that any behavior should be inherited from our parents.Our home ,parents environment ,our kith and kin are the main influence on our suede behavior.It will later be enhanced with the education and the position one holds and the cultured people one moves with and surrounded with.

I think, our upbringing matters the most. We kind of imbibe what we see our elders do and they make us what we are today. I can tell for myself, whatever i am today is what I have seen if not taught. My parents led by example and never really have had anything imposed on us. We had the right to pick things among few, we felt the best at that point in time.

I think it is upbringing. It a elder, a parent , grandparent, or guardian who teaches good manners to the child at an early age.And if their elder is Still in their life when they become a teenager , it Can continue.

I think it is entirely a matter of education. We tend to do what the people around us do to a certain extent, and if we learn chaste behavior at home that may or may not stay with us, but if we don't, then it is harder to learn later on. This is where our elders need to know we will do what we see them do, not what they tell us we should do.

Somebody being a real jerk to them?

Hey kalav! I don't think that it is totally about upbringing! I think that it depends on where you are and who you are with that determine sometimes how one behaves! I know that I can be loud, and vulgar, but I am not ever impolite! My parents fought all my life and I grew up with lots of yelling and loudness and I hated it! But, yet I turned out to be that way sometimes too! I don't necessarily blame them for that, although I blame them for most everything else! But, when I am in a place that I know I have to speak softly and act like a lady, I do! So I'm not sure it has anything to do with money or education! It depends on how and who you associate with!

It is a combination of many things in my opinion; from genetics to education but our up bringing would be the most influential by far. It comes down to children growing up feeling loved. Without that basic need being fulfilled all sorts of problems can arise, feelings of low self esteem and insecurity can lead to an underlying anger. In many cases children have not been taught simple manners and consideration for others or worse still they followed the parents’ examples and sadly, that is not necessarily a positive in some cases.

I think that what you describe is just the sign of a well brought up person. My family never had great wealth and I didn't receive any special education but I like to think that I know how to act well in company.

I think, our upbringing matters the most. We kind of imbibe what we see our elders do and they make us what we are today. I can tell for myself, whatever i am today is what I have seen if not taught. My parents led by example and never really have had anything imposed on us. We had the right to pick things among many, we felt the best at that point in time.