A Second Opinion Doesn't Always Mean Good
By Daddy Neil
@neildc (17238)
Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
July 16, 2010 1:55am CST
[i]The first doctor who do the checked-up with my 3 year old son is a Family doctor. She's actually the doctor of our family here. I am not sure about her specialization.
The second doctor was a Pediatrician who initially recommended the Sleep Study. We have no enough money that time so we have not been able to do the study. But when the funds came, people told us to get a Second Opinion, so we were brought to another doctor.
This time, she is a Neurologist-Pediatrician. At this point, we spend a lot of money for the medication. She thought about treating the large tonsils with some kind of medicine. But this one always tells, let's pray for miracles to happen to your child. Hmmp...
Now comes one Eye-Nose-Throat we have met. He told us after looking at our son's tonsils, that there is nothing to worry about it, they are normal. What?!
Now comes a new doctor. A Pulmonologist-Pediatrician we have found in the directory of that hospital. She is most convinced about the problem that it is really apnea and told us that the sleep study is not necessary at this point. Even if the study will be done, she won't wait for the results to be available, she will definitely go for the surgery. But she still have to get the final recommendation from an ENT doctor, which is her most trusted doctors in this field, the throat.
Come tomorrow, Saturday, we will be meeting with another doctor. Hopefully, he will have the final recommendation on whether the surgery will push through or not.[/i]
Now what I want to discuss now, have you come to this kind of situation, where in you almost got confused with so many people giving opinions, suggestions, advises when you have problems? Has it come to your thoughts, whom should you believe? And when you want a second opinion, it turned out to be not a good one? And you have to find another second opinion, and another and another?
4 people like this
18 responses
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
i will give them the ultimatum tomorrow. i want a clear and honest opinion and i think i should have it. will let you all informed.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
16 Jul 10
I hate DOctors that dont tell you right off what is wrong and have you chasing every where to find out this is making them all money and to me that is draining money from you I dont think there should be so many to go see about the tonsils.
Used to be that main family DOctor could tell you by looking atthe throat and if he needed to did the operation.
I do think this needs to go back thaqt way and get rid of eh specialists1 unph!
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
i have though about it. if she only have referred us directly to someone, to a doctor who specialized in throats, then i guess we never have came to this point that we are already drained and drowned of debts.
if only we really have sufficient amount of money at that time, we could be sleeping very well right now.
hopeful we are, tomorrow will be the last doctor we will see.
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33117)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
Hello neildc,
I prefer the doctor who suggested surgery over the sleep study, it's more expensive. doctors have their own expertise based on what they studied but i think none of them has gone through the regular severe cases such as this one.
the one who recommended that there's nothing with your son is either lazy or lack of experience in the field. always go for those who had been in the field for years
1 person likes this
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
but sometimes, much older or have been in their own field do not know more about the latest diseases or could be less knowledgeable than the younger doctors. i found one who seems to be only after the money and also found one that seems to be lazy, he just keeps talking and laughing. 
1 person likes this
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
That simply explains that too much of everything is no longer beneficial. Maybe you should have stuck with the "second opinion" literally... that simply means you only go for a second. The third, the fourth and so on already means confusion. But you know i'm kidding right. If those doctors are specialist then maybe it's about time you inform each of them what the other doctor has told you. It may not be such a good idea since these doctors normally protect each other but it's about time that you assert, being the one paying for their services what really is the real deal. we all know how frustrating it is to waste money for the check up and get inconclusive results, to think that you pay them for just a couple of minutes of chit chat. I think it's about time you go to someone who is known for his expertise, even if you have to pay extra rather than spend and waste your money to some doctors. Lets face it, with the dwindling number of competent doctors we have in this country, the brightest ones are usually those who are expensive.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
that is the reality, we have to pay more to get the best services. if we have no money, that will lead to more complications. the problem won't be solved.
i really thought we have got the best, the first second opinion that we got. but it seems that she was only after the money. i don't know how exactly it made us drained and now we have to work much harder now to raise more funds.
definitely, i will tell the doctor tomorrow everything that we've been through with those other doctors. he needs to know everything. just like what i have told the other doctor yesterday.
i am very hopeful, tomorrow will put an end to our worries with our son. and i also hope, funds will follow afterwards when the surgery will be finalized, if it's the ultimate solution to the problem.
i'll let everyone here know the progress. keep in touch.
thanks...
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
18 Jul 10
i clearly understand what your son have went through. those were infections that made tonsils swell. and medicines really helped it. removing them will could be fine but may not be good for him. you are right, my son has a different case. his tonsils and adenoids are not swollen, no infections. those are large including his tongue. the ent doctor have confirmed it, done a scan with endoscopy in front of us. and there is really no way but to remove the tonsils and adenoids which could also correct the position of the tongue.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
removing your son's tonsils may not be the best course of action. My son went through a swollen tonsil before. He can't eat because shallowing food hurts. I really pains me to see him cry during meal time because we have to force him to eat since his health is fast deteriorating because of it. We considered having his tonsils removed because swelling almost happens every few months. But the doctor advised against it since it is not advised until the kid reaches 6 years old, he was 5 that time. A few doses of antibiotics did the trick and we're just careful not to give him too much sweet to avoid irritating the tonsils. I guess, kids are really vulnerable when their young and its really a must that parents take all precautionary measures. As the kids grows, their bodies learn to adjust and the immune system grows more stronger. before, ice cream and cold drinks are a no no in the house. In fact our refrigerator don'r even have cold water in it. But now, ice cream and cold water is OK. But i guess, it's a different story for your son. Maybe you should take a more natural way to treat his illness. Those medicine and antibiotics that the doctors normally prescribe just make our kids more prone to sickness.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
16 Jul 10
Sweetie, i cannot understand the problem here.
Are these people really doctors?
Correct me if i am wrong here, please.
Your son is 3 years old and he has problems with his tonsils, right?
Now for Pete's sake, you tell the doctor to remove them.
I cannot think how they can leave this.
He can become very ill of that tonsils.
He is old enough for them to be removed.
Or should i come and visit that''doctors''?
Good Luck.
TATA.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
saph, i really can't believe this is happening to us right now. given the benefit of the doubt, we follow everything they tell us but they seem to drain us more. don't you think they need some spanking? 
seriously, saph, tomorrow i hope will end up all our worries when we come to see this doctor. it will only be an operation or no? i will let you all know by the time we have the clue.
seriously, saph, tomorrow i hope will end up all our worries when we come to see this doctor. it will only be an operation or no? i will let you all know by the time we have the clue.1 person likes this
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
You know what? With all the medical advises you are getting, I am sure you already know which one is the more practical and effective one. I've had a similar experience with my mother's oncologists. The first one refused to treat her because of her age and her pre-existing conditions and we were told that she only had three months to live. On the fourth month and she was still alive, we changed doctors and my mother started on chemotherapy, which sadly did not work. And the doctor blamed us because we did not choose the most expensive chemo treatment available. Well, excuse me, that is what we could afford.
In the end, after being told she had three months to live and poisoning herself for nine months with chemo, my mother stopped going to the doctors. She has not undergone any treatment whatsoever for two years now and is healthier than when she started on chemo. I just give her traditional medicines that I research online, and believe me, they work. I do hope you find the right treatment for your son. I will include you in my prayers.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
17 Jul 10
nice to hear that your mother is still doing good. my mom passed away about 3 years ago because of cancer too, and we have cannot afford the medicines and hospitalization, etc.
with our son now, we already have met with the ENT and he gave us the exact cause of the problem. if you have time, please do check my latest post.
thanks for the prayers and God bless you and your family.
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Jul 10
hi neildc nope I have not been in that situation but I can see how
worrisome and wearying it would been especially with a small child
who is so miserable. You just want to get him well and you are stuck
not knowing which way you should turn andwho is the best to advise
you. good luck and God bless.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
17 Jul 10
we are trying to end all these confusions and worries today. at least to know the real cause and solution ultimately. thank you all.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
17 Jul 10
Hi neildc~ I'm so sorry that you are going through so much difficulty
trying to get help for your son! And the fact that he is only three
is really sad to have to keep taking him to different doctors is
very scary to one so young. I think I understand sort of their hesitation
with the tonsilectomy. Taking out the tonsils is not a very serious
surgery, but also not a guarantee to cure the apnea either! I have known
adults with sleep apnea who had their tonsils out when they were
kids. I had mine out when I was 13, which was already getting old for
tonsilectomies! I was always getting tonsilitis so it made sense to
finally take them out, although they should have been taken a few years
sooner! I think the doctors will try taking your son's tonsils and hope
that maybe because he is so young that might cure the apnea! My girlfriends
son was born with apnea and he outgrew it within the his first year so
anything is possible! Keep a positive attitude! My girlfriends son is now
going to be 22 and he played football in high school and is very healthy
and no signs that he ever had the sleep apnea!
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
17 Jul 10
well actually, you really can't see any manifestations with our son that he has apnea, you cannot tell when you see him awake. he is super duper naughty, a very hyper-active kid. although he gets coughs most of the time, almost every month, we have to send him to a doctor.
when we see the ENT this morning, there is really nothing more that he can do but surgery. with the endoscopy, he showed us how large his tonsils and adenoids are, which causes the apnea. he even told us that surgery can even be done with a 1 day old baby. so he keeps shaking his head when we told him that the previous doctors have told us, surgery is not necessary or couldn't be done with the child and we have to wait at least, when he turns 5.
anyway, you can check my latest post for the update.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
18 Jul 10
but it's really a different case for my son, we can't wait for another year or two. he's been suffering for almost 3 years. his voice even changed a lot which is not normal anymore. it's rough or hoarse for about two months now and we getting more worried.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
Hello kabayan, i feel sorry about your child. But since you've been from a lot of doctors even nutritionist who checked your child. As for me, I would study their opinion and segregate those who had similar opinion and check who got the highest in number.
I hope child's situation would not come up into worst medication. We'll just pray for that Bai..
Mobhomeir here...
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
hopefully, all our worries will end tomorrow when we come to CebuDoc to meet one more doctor. the problem of our son has long been there and we really want to end his sufferings. hopefully, it will be a good news for tomorrow.
thanks bai...
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
I understand the feeling of a loving parents to their children. If we could just carry the burden and sufferings of our children I think we all did that...
Hope and prayers for your son Bai..just be optimistic...
Mobhomeir here..
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
17 Jul 10
exactly. if we only just could, we will do that.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
yes, more opinions mean more choices but most of the time it's confusing. and sometimes, even if you feel healthy, deep inside there is one problem that only professionals could see and determine the gravity of the ailment.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
18 Jul 10
endoscopy ends confusions for some problems. it confirmed the problem with our son. the doctor let us see how it looks like inside the throat.
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
hello neil,
Well,what can i say.
If i am in your position,i should have taken my son to the best in town(doctor and hospital)
I know this is a matter of financial stability.
But,with what you are dealing right now,you are also spending lot of money.
So,why keep chances,why not go directly to the best doctor and hospital,when,we know from the very start that we had to spend money.
Money can be found,but time can not be turn back.
Time is what you are dealing right now.
The early possible time to know the real cause and real score.
Be strong my friend,may you find the right person(doctor) that could help you in real essence.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
hi jane. i am very positive about tomorrow's outcome of our visit with this doctor. i can see how the pulmo-pedia have described him, though both of them are new to us. but i can already imagine how zayzay will be very comfortable with his sleeps in the near future, very very soon.
aside from the hospital, these doctors i believe are the most credible or could be the right people who will and should handle his case. i just can't believe the previous doctors, they all come from one of the best hospitals in the city, but they just seem to not about the patient but the money. ranting again now?
it's true jane, we are really running out of time. we really have to know the real score. as the pulo-pedia have said, even if the sleep study is to be done, they will not wait for its results. if funds is just really sufficient and available, tomorrow it can be done.
but still, we have to wait until tomorrow. and you will know the outcome by then.
it's true jane, we are really running out of time. we really have to know the real score. as the pulo-pedia have said, even if the sleep study is to be done, they will not wait for its results. if funds is just really sufficient and available, tomorrow it can be done.
but still, we have to wait until tomorrow. and you will know the outcome by then.@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
17 Jul 10
don't worry, as soon as the check-up today is done, i will be back posting another to inform you and everyone here. hugs.
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
i understand about it dear,what i am saying is,Manila had the best in town(country)
i am not degrading the hospitals in your place,but we know about the best ones here in our country.
i just hope for the good result then,,,i just can't wait.
actually,i watched the video you posted and can't help my tears.
i hate seeing zay2 in that situation...i just can't do anything to help him but pray
@tomitomi (5429)
• Singapore
17 Jul 10
I understand what you are going through right now neil. My own sister just had her tonsils removed recently. But not without going through years of pain, worries and lots of blood tests, diagnostic tests and other checkups as well. She is very fine now and love to see her leading her normal life back. All those time, money, sweat and tears have paid off eventually.
I hope Zayzay, you and your family would go through all these with blessings.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
17 Jul 10
nice to hear that your sister is doing great now and living a normal life. may i know how much you spent for the surgery?
Do what is needed...
I've already seen his discomfort...
Will pray for him...
thanks for the topic..
have a great day/night.....@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
17 Jul 10
we still have to see the doctor in a couple of hours from now. hopefully, all our worries will end today. i will be back later on today to give updates. thanks for sharing.
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
16 Jul 10
i didnt think tonsils would do that, when i had to get my out i had a really bad sore thoat.
yeah ive been there a few times go to one doctor they say one thing and then second or third say something else.
you just have to go with the one you trust the most, with my family doctor i can trust him pretty well by what he says
you guys are still in my prayers bro
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
i still hope the doctor we will have to see tomorrow will say something to disregard operation. we don't have much choice but to see him tomorrow and hopeful that it will put an end to our worries.
thanks for the prayers bro.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
16 Jul 10
It can get a bit confusing to hear so many different medical opinions. I had my tonsils out when I was four years old because of problems I was experiencing with coughs and the like. These days most doctors will look at surgery as a last resource instead of the easy solution. All you can do is listen to the latest doctor who will speak to you, think things through and hope for the best...I pray that it works in the best possible way for you and your little boy...
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
practically the same situation we have here with our son. he always have coughs and colds, almost every month. the doctor whom we met yesterday told us this problem could be solved once his tonsils are removed.
sure we will have to listen very carefully with the doctor tomorrow. i believe this one will stop our worries about our son, though not when it comes to money matters. but we have to face it. we really hope that tomorrow is the going to be our best day with a doctor.
thanks for the prayers, paula.
by the way, have you parents told you or do you remember you were snoring when you were a child?
1 person likes this
@gelay07 (588)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
it happened to me 3 yrs ago when i was admitted due to severe stomach ache. The doctors who treated me said i needed an immediate operation. They said i have urinary track infection and something is blocking the passageway of the kidneys i think. we sought second opinion and what a relief, the doctor said it was only a minor condition no need for an operation. The doctor only advised me to drink lots of water and avoid salty food and gave me medicines..
my parents told me when i was very sick when i was still small, they went through different doctors to get the correct diagnosis of my condition. They finally came to a good doctor which happens to be my dad's classmate in medicine, who was able to give the correct diagnosis. i guess, you never stop to find the right doctor until you are satisfied. i pray you'll be guided to the right doctor to help your kid.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Jul 10
of course, when it comes to our children, especially when it's about their health, we parents won't stop looking for all the necessary solution to the problem. and even if will cost a lot more, we won't stop until we found the right person, the right solution.
with our son, we are very hopeful that by tomorrow, it will be the last doctor who will give the ultimate solution, a procedure that will end his sufferings.
thanks for the prayers.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
17 Jul 10
I have had about 13 second opinions. The only thing they agree on is that there is something wrong with my cerebellum, and I keep getting the same tests done over and over. Everytime I get the results, they say they are within the normal range. I use a walker or a wheelchair. I am definitely not normal. I went to one doctor from a highly rated hospital and he said no-one but him would know there was anything wrong with me. I think he thought a little too much of himself.
It is very frustrating to go to doctor after doctor and they all say something different. I feel sorry for you and your family.
In our society we are made to believe that doctors know everything. We forget that they are human also. I can accept that there may be things the doctors don't know, but if they are willing to admit that they don't know I trust them more.
