Moving on....
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
July 28, 2010 12:43am CST
Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya 
I am looking for some input on people who have made a move across the country, from one coast to the other, and lived to tell about it. I am terrified. I know that sounds ridiculous but I'm not the type who likes to move, and the idea of it is making me feel like I have a brick on my chest.
Yes, I know having a plan is absolute, but here is the problem - I may not have that much of a heads up. It looks like my husband is going about this pretty thoroughly, so it will mean the move might happen shortly after the job transfer is offered - and that could be anywhere between the day he submits for the jobs to... a few months. I am really worried that he will submit for the job and then we'll have to leave right away, or within a couple weeks 
. The move is an excellent opportunity because it means we're following a job, the cost of living is lower, and since our son is leaving for college, he won't be at home so he won't have to move with us... but I feel like I'm losing everything.
School is starting again the second week of Aug, I am on the PTC there. My daughter will be in first grade and she is looking forward to seeing some of the friends she didn't see during the summer. Her closest friends she's seen, we have been doing a lot of things together this summer. I was looking forward to volunteering again and hoping that the district would have the budget to hire aides, which is something I would have applied for.
I am most sad about the close friends that I have, our memories, our lives. We thought our children would grow up together, a few of them have been friends since they were two. We used to talk about the kids being in high school, sneaking around and following them on dates, the worries about them driving our cars, or being late for work or sneaking out of the house lol.
I don't know what I'm going to do. Help me feel better about this, put a positive spin on it for me. My challenge to you. 
I am looking for some input on people who have made a move across the country, from one coast to the other, and lived to tell about it. I am terrified. I know that sounds ridiculous but I'm not the type who likes to move, and the idea of it is making me feel like I have a brick on my chest.
Yes, I know having a plan is absolute, but here is the problem - I may not have that much of a heads up. It looks like my husband is going about this pretty thoroughly, so it will mean the move might happen shortly after the job transfer is offered - and that could be anywhere between the day he submits for the jobs to... a few months. I am really worried that he will submit for the job and then we'll have to leave right away, or within a couple weeks . The move is an excellent opportunity because it means we're following a job, the cost of living is lower, and since our son is leaving for college, he won't be at home so he won't have to move with us... but I feel like I'm losing everything.
School is starting again the second week of Aug, I am on the PTC there. My daughter will be in first grade and she is looking forward to seeing some of the friends she didn't see during the summer. Her closest friends she's seen, we have been doing a lot of things together this summer. I was looking forward to volunteering again and hoping that the district would have the budget to hire aides, which is something I would have applied for.
I am most sad about the close friends that I have, our memories, our lives. We thought our children would grow up together, a few of them have been friends since they were two. We used to talk about the kids being in high school, sneaking around and following them on dates, the worries about them driving our cars, or being late for work or sneaking out of the house lol.
I don't know what I'm going to do. Help me feel better about this, put a positive spin on it for me. My challenge to you. 2 people like this
5 responses
@RawBill1 (8531)
• Gold Coast, Australia
29 Jul 10
I have never moved "across country" from one coast to the other, but I have moved nearly 2000 kilometres north up the East Coast of Australia from where I grew up and all of my family live. This equates to a 2 hour flight or two days driving. This was not daunting for me in the beginning as it was more of an adventure. 
We did not have children at the time and not too many belongings so it was not a hard thing to do. We settled in well and made some friends straight away. We did end up moving back south for a couple of years when we found out that we were going to be parents, but we were not happy back there so we moved back up here again. We had another child up here and re-aquainted ourselves with the friends that we met the first time that we lived here. We then made lots of new friends pretty easily and continue to do so. 
We are still in contact with a few of the people that we made friends with when we first came here but some have moved away, others we have drifted apart from. We would never contemplate moving back to where we both grew up as that does not feel like home to us anymore, even though our families are still there. We have not lived there for nearly ten years now. We still get down there every year or two to visit our family and old friends and with the wonders of the internet it is so easy to keep in contact with them all now. We regularly Skype family and friends down there. It is an awesome tool for keeping in contact as you can see them live on your computer. 
We did not have children at the time and not too many belongings so it was not a hard thing to do. We settled in well and made some friends straight away. We did end up moving back south for a couple of years when we found out that we were going to be parents, but we were not happy back there so we moved back up here again. We had another child up here and re-aquainted ourselves with the friends that we met the first time that we lived here. We then made lots of new friends pretty easily and continue to do so.
We are still in contact with a few of the people that we made friends with when we first came here but some have moved away, others we have drifted apart from. We would never contemplate moving back to where we both grew up as that does not feel like home to us anymore, even though our families are still there. We have not lived there for nearly ten years now. We still get down there every year or two to visit our family and old friends and with the wonders of the internet it is so easy to keep in contact with them all now. We regularly Skype family and friends down there. It is an awesome tool for keeping in contact as you can see them live on your computer. 1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
4 Aug 10
It was an adventure for me when I first moved to California I was THRILLED! Not only did I get out of where I grew up, I was getting nice weather and a pool and a chance to meet new people. I moved 'into' children, my husband (to be) had two kids, and right when I moved, I got pregnant with our daughter, so between the pregnancy and the kids - who were still young, there was so much to keep me busy I didn't really miss 'home'. I didn't even really make friends for awhile, one or two because of the older kids but beyond that, the bulk of my friendships started when my daughter turned two and I was looking for ways to socialize with her and find HER friends lol.
I know I'll make new friends, it's just easier being comfortable with your surroundings, knowing where you are, knowing how to get places, not having to think about prices at a familiar place or the ground rules, say at a community center or gym or whatever. I'm going to miss my gym, my childcare is included.
As far as moving back anywhere, I hope after the move that I take a yearly vacation back HERE, as in CA, but hubby and I have decided we have no desire to ever go back to WA... or TN where he was born. I'll have a guest suite for sure in the new house, or eventually in a home we buy to retire in, so that option is always going to be there for family or friends to visit US. For me coming back to CA will feel like going home, even if I eventually love FL too. This is where we got married, this is where our daughter was born, this is where the big kids graduated from high school, and where we rode the motorcycle in the mountains and up the coast. There's just something about the place where you've had a lot of the best moments of your life.....
I was THRILLED! Not only did I get out of where I grew up, I was getting nice weather and a pool and a chance to meet new people. I moved 'into' children, my husband (to be) had two kids, and right when I moved, I got pregnant with our daughter, so between the pregnancy and the kids - who were still young, there was so much to keep me busy I didn't really miss 'home'. I didn't even really make friends for awhile, one or two because of the older kids but beyond that, the bulk of my friendships started when my daughter turned two and I was looking for ways to socialize with her and find HER friends lol.
I know I'll make new friends, it's just easier being comfortable with your surroundings, knowing where you are, knowing how to get places, not having to think about prices at a familiar place or the ground rules, say at a community center or gym or whatever. I'm going to miss my gym, my childcare is included.
As far as moving back anywhere, I hope after the move that I take a yearly vacation back HERE, as in CA, but hubby and I have decided we have no desire to ever go back to WA... or TN where he was born. I'll have a guest suite for sure in the new house, or eventually in a home we buy to retire in, so that option is always going to be there for family or friends to visit US. For me coming back to CA will feel like going home, even if I eventually love FL too. This is where we got married, this is where our daughter was born, this is where the big kids graduated from high school, and where we rode the motorcycle in the mountains and up the coast. There's just something about the place where you've had a lot of the best moments of your life.....@RawBill1 (8531)
• Gold Coast, Australia
4 Aug 10
We made a lot of our friends the same way that you did. My wife started going to play groups with our young children and met other mums there who she is still friends with now. We got together with these people regularly as me and their husbands got along well too. We have made other great friends through the kids schools over time. I made other friends through work, but they are not as close to me, more acquaintances these days.
I am sure that if we ever move from this area that we will still think of it as home as it is where our children grew up. Good luck with your move. I am sure you will settle in well as you have done it all before.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
29 Jul 10
Well I didn't move cross country, but I did move from southern California to northern California, a day's drive away from family, friends and familiar sights. It was tough and I still get homesick. It's home to the children now though. The best way to get into your new community is to get involved with something, the children's'schools, charity groups, work, etc. But you never totally stop missing what you left behind.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Jul 10
hi I moved many years ago to follow my parents from South Dakota to Tempe Arizona and I found a job an with that job the man that God must have picked out for me so in the long run it was a good move. my folks lamented their old familar state but I was so tired of being sick all winter every winterI welcomed being well in sunny Arizona du ring the winter. no snow, no blizzards no being chilled to the bone. and I met the man I loved and married him six weeks later so sometimes good things happen to us when we move across country.
was a good move. my folks lamented their old familar state but I was so tired of being sick all winter every winterI welcomed being well in sunny Arizona du ring the winter. no snow, no blizzards no being chilled to the bone. and I met the man I loved and married him six weeks later so sometimes good things happen to us when we move across country.1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
4 Aug 10
Hi Hatley!
That is about what I did when I moved from WA to CA...lol.
I love the weather here, and I am worried with the return of the humidity, I will suffer from things I did before I moved to CA. I don't KNOW but I'm worried. Florida is hot, but not dry, so that concerns me. I love the dry. I think I'd be less worried about moving to AZ than FL.
The man I love will be with me but I'm still worried, I hate being 'the new person', it's been a long time since that was true. When I first moved here, it didn't matter, I had 2 kids and one on the way to keep me busy. This time, I will have just the one, but now shes 6, and I will have just moved her away from all of her friends. 
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
28 Jul 10
There is a lot to consider when moving to a new town.. I mean first off you have to remember that every town has good sides and bad sides, and with you knowing nothing about the town you're moving to, you don't want to accidentally end up on a bad side! That would be one of my biggest concerns.
Personally what I would do is once your husband is accepted for the transfer, I'd send him off alone to get everything settled. He can stay in a hotel for a couple weeks while he searches for a place for you guys to live, and gets the kids enrolled in school so they're all set once you get there. While he's doing that you can tie up the loose ends on your side like getting things packed, giving notice to your job and volunteer groups, saying goodbye to your friends, etc.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for the best.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
3 Aug 10
That would be okay... but I think it would be tougher for me to not be the one figuring out the housing and school at the new place. As long as we agree on a rent or lease amount and figure out the allowable distance from work, I think I am pickier than he is about the location, size, age, and type of house than he is, and also beyond that, the location and rating of elementary schools. I am thinking if this is going to be two step - meaning he has to go somewhere else for training first, I might put my daughter on independent study out of her current school, so that it won't be a big deal if she is not enrolled right away at the new one.
I'm also trying to consider within the distance to work, what the best option will be as far as climate. Being closer to the coast or right ON the water isn't my favorite option, even though a lot of people would think so. I don't like the coastal climate, so if we can be inland but maybe within 20 miles of a beach, I'd be happier than being right ON it. We'll have hurricanes and floods to think about, or at least a possibility, where landside or more inland, even though we wouldnt be in walking distance of the beach, we'd be safer in a storm with less bad weather patterns from ocean proximity.
On top of that, I'm looking for a place where amenities like Target, Walmart, Costco or Sam's Club, movie theaters, plenty of grocery stores and a mall, plus community offerings like a community center, gym, jogging trails, and the like will be IN the community, meaning like a 0-10 mile radius, not a 40 minute drive from the boonies.
It's just a lot to think about. I have moved DOWN the coast before but never from west to east, and the time difference is also going to be a b*tch lol. Most of the people I talk to will be 2-3 hours behind me!
@shiquitatw (442)
• Jamaica
28 Jul 10
Talk about fear 18 months ago I moved from Maryland to Jamaica. The first three days I cried like a baby and after that I was over it. This summer I said that I wasn't even going to bother to go back to Maryland for a visit. So if I - A American citizen can leave a first world country to uproot with three children 17,15 and 8 and move out of the country to Jamaica a third world Country and live to tell you about it then I surely think that you can do it as well. Just try to think positive because it is never as bad as what you think it will be. If you get home sick send me a message and I can give you funny stories of my move that will cheer you up. Remember that- Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude - Good Luck :)
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
3 Aug 10
Hi there! I know things will be fine... eventually. I would not feel this way if I hadn't made friends, networked, and come to feel this was home. My friends are funny about it, some are very blase, like they say 'we know you'll make friends instantly and you wnt' miss us', but others understand how I feel and are sorry I'm going to feel uprooted. I do plan to visit every year, probably fly, because this really IS my home, and these are the first friends I made when my daughter was a baby. I think they are important to me even more because my hubby commutes 2 hours a day, and he works 9+ hours anyway, so although he's home at night, the majority of my days are spent with people I have made friends with. Some of my friends too are in the same boat, they have spouses who commute a long way OR they have spouses who are deployed, who travel, or work an opposite shift so they are sleeping during our days. I have a couple people I trust completely to care for my daughter, and she is comfortable with them.
I don't think it would be this worrisome at all if we were just moving to another city in the same state, but I will have the new location, a different climate, and the fact that I cannot just drive an hour to be back where I was lol. I am, however, starting to look at real estate and I see that we will PROBABLY be able to find exactly what we want before moving. I'm not sure if we'll be able to actually see it in person, but working with a real estate agent on site will be helpful, they can send lots of photos and give us the specific info via email or phone calls.
