'The Boy'......

I think this is common to use a lot of people who call like that to a child or their close relatives. because maybe they think it is normal and is no stranger to tell them without mentioning his name. and I also experienced it until now. and I accept it because it is difficult to hope that they do not call me like that.

I will usually refer to them as the oldest, the youngest, the 4 year old, the twins, the kids, the boys, etc. When I talk to people who know the kids I'll tend to use their names, unless I'm talking about the twins. Rarely will I say T__ and T___ I'll just say "the twins" even if I'm talking to hubby or anyone else. I think many parents of twins or more group them together like that.. it's really no different than saying "the kids" when you're talking about the whole group. Personally I wouldn't see this as being cold or strange.. it's just her way. I used to have a friend who found it annoying that another friend constantly called her son "little man" instead of using his name. It's just a way to refer to someone.. at least she's not calling him a bad name or referring to him as a little monster or hellian or something like that.

I don't know the lady so I won't assume that she means any harm toward her son. Probably started off like a nickname and then just became a habit. I do not thing it is a good thing to call him the boy. First of all, it seems like he is just a boy, just one of many. Whereas, if she would call him by his name, he could feel unique and special in that. As you pointed out, she does not call other people by such a generic title. So she may be communicating to her son that he is less than all those people. Very bad approach for a parent. Guess you will have the honor of communicating some of these cautions to her.

mommygoo thats so scary as if she does not really care for him, the boy how bizarre is that. It is very strange and reminds me of that set of three books, the Child Called It, The man named Dave and I forget the name of the third. HIs mom was abusive and just plain odd and mebgtakt twisted.No my son was always Robbie and still is. We had a different sort of thing ib a way ,my second born was a sweet,loving loveable little girl who was born not breathing and because they would not do a caesarian section on me she had to be resuscitated. so she had some brain damage.each day I wo uld call her by her name but still she wou ld call pick baby up mommy. and I would say Lisa you know your name honey.you are Lisa Rose, so she would repeat it Lisa, mommy pick up Lisa baby. okay so she would always be our ba by for 8 short years.People were amazed when they learned she was handicapped as she acted in a lot of ways like a really smart child but for examp;le I could never toliet tranin her and lord knows i did try.But she was o ur little love and I suppose we sometimes said oh the baby is sleeping hush but my son alwas canned her Lisa,he was just barely a year older but actually he was only 11 months older than she was.

Hi mommyboo! (I miss you my gf)! I think that this is so disgusting! How could this woman degrade and disrespect her own son like this? How can she talk about her own child in this way? I totally don't understand and never will. I have no children of my own, but have a few "like children" and can't imagine doing something so mean, cruel and dispicable to any child. I hope this poor child will be ok and grows up to let her know exactly how disgusting a mother she is!

Does she ever use his given name? I at times when joking with the hubby may refer to our son as "the boy" from the old Cosby bit, and it is generally after our son has done something he should not have done. Not a referral link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKP2J1iZeTQ I can see not mentioning her son's name on Facebook, she may not want everyone and his brother to know her son's name and that is acceptable. Namaste-Anora

Maybe we're all looking at it at the wrong angle and calling her son "The Boy" is actually her term of endearment for the child? Has anyone asked her about it? I remember a local actor who passed away a few years ago who people call "Daboy." He was very well-known by that nickname which translates to the boy {it's due to the fact that old versions of the Filipino alphabet do not recognize hard and soft th, they're just D's and T's to most of us). I think calling him that somehow made his fans feel closer to the late actor as if knowing him personally.

I wonder if it means she doesn't respect her son?

Yes, I do find it odd & extremely cold & impersonal!!! You didn't say; but, is he the only boy in the family??? Twins were prevalent in my family & they were always called "the twins" when speaking to others...both by their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. I always wondered why??? I used to date a guy whose sister had the only child in the family & they called her "the baby" until she was 13 years old. Every time he spoke of her to me & called her "the baby", I'd correct him & say do you mean...(& call her by her name). I pointed out to him one day that she was NO longer a baby as she had developed breasst...indicating she was developing into a woman!!!! My brother NEVER calls his wife by her name when speaking to others (including our family). He always says "My wife said"... This irritates the crap out of me!!!! I have also noticed that his son is developing the same habit now that he's married. Here on the Lot I say "my hubs" for the first husband & "my hubby" for the last one. However, when speaking to my family or friends, I do call them by their given names!!!!

I read your post with interest, because it may be a rotten parent here, but actually a manifestation of Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism. I've seen this behaviour before, in a relative. He doesn't refer to people by what he views as illogical terms, but calls my dog "funny furry thing" rather than her name. He refers to "my aunt" or "my father" or "my sister", as if I don't know the person of whom he is talking. I have done some reading on this subject, and it is very difficult for those with the syndrome to be in social situations, as they tend to misinterpret emotions and have difficulty with subleties in language, using literal expressions rather than conceptual. It might be helpful to research this condition, to see if there is a basis for compassion in considering this individual's communication style.

I think it is odd that she NEVER uses the childs name I do that with my kids on occassion but not all the time and not to everyone

Well, when Kathryn was a little bit younger and Paul and my niece Lilliana were less than two years old I referred to the kids as Kathryn and the babies. However, most of the people that I associated with also knew Paul and Lilliana's given names. In general I don't think that this is strange, impersonal or cold. However, if you don't know the child's given name then I do think that it is a little bit odd. I do have a friend that has a foster daughter and she isn't allowed to post her name or picture on facebook so she will refer to her as M.

Hat's off to you dude, what a nice thinking. very nice . very very nice thinking of yours..

Every person's name is the sweetest word for him/her. And having a child, for me, is one of the greatest blessings a person may have. That's why I find it odd for that woman to call him "The Boy" instead of calling him by his name or "Son." What is the name of "The Boy" by the way? Is it not related with "The Boy"?

I wouldn't call my child any of that but i think it's none of my business what others wanna call their child. I wouldn't mind being around someone calling his/her son "the boy". As long as he/she doesn't tell me what i should do with my life, i wouldn't tell him/her what to do with his/hers either.

I will never do that then if you want to do that better not name them that would be very fine right.