barging in on private arguments between people
By sashakiddo
@sashakiddo (1102)
United States
May 6, 2011 3:48am CST
One day I was having an argument with my boyfriend about how he was acting foolishly in a certain situation. I was so angry about it that I started telling him I want to break up with him, just so that he would understand how serious I was about the problem. I thought we were alone, but actually his housemate was listening from another room and he started commenting on my statement about breaking up. He started acting defensive to my boyfriend, as if he even knew what I was talking about. If he actually understood the story, he would never have defended him. So since then I realized a person should never barge in on an argument when they don't know the whole story.
What do you think of this? Do you barge in on an argument to show your opinion?
2 people like this
14 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
1 Jul 11
One thing a friend should never do is barge in on another person's argument between them and their partner. I just feel like that is the worst thing to do and can even end the friendship, especially if it ends up making the relationship between the two arguing break as well.
A person is different with their friends then they are with their spouse, and that is the way it should be. Some people don't realize that though, I mean that it's way different with a friend then it is with a spouse. I'd have yelled at the friend for getting in my argument.
@sinawaliboy (271)
• Philippines
22 May 11
Well people should never barge into somebody's argument unless the intention is to put everything in the right order. There are times that arguments escalate to something worse which needs to be stopped by a third party person. But unless that is the case, then barging to somebody's arguments is a big NO NO.
@jdyrj777 (6528)
• United States
9 May 11
I stay out of other peoples business. I try to stay out of arguments even when they are mine. You never know maybe your bf confided in his house mates about the problem when you wasnt around. What ever the caes they should stay out of others problems.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
7 May 11
Oh no....no barging in here for me. Now if things become physical or something like that..I might try and stop it..but other than that..no. My daughters are too young to have fights with their b/fs yet..so I don't know how that will go..lol...I am a bit protective over them. If my son has had arguments with his g/f, he has never done it in front of me. I am glad too. I think I might be more likely to get into that than I would friends.
@sender621 (14889)
• United States
6 May 11
I don't like to be in the middle of someone's private arguments. It can be uncomfortable when you enter into someone's else fight. Knowing how to react or not can make for an awkward moment or two. If someone is arguing, i try to make myself scarce. Only if i was needed would i have the cause to intervene.
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
7 May 11
Presence in such a situation, gives an assumption that you can barge into a conversation, but never when you are not physically present with the arguing party.
However, when the arguing party begins to become violent, then the listening person could ask for an authority's intervention.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 May 11
Only if somebody's being beaten up, and even then I'd probably call the police rather than get involved myself.
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
6 May 11
Hi sashakiddo,
This is out and out an eves-dropping case. Usually we do not listen to what people near you are talking. First thing, they might not like it. But as many men many minds we can not control others' bearing so easily.
When my wife talks over her cell phone I never try to listen what or who she is talking to.
There are people, you meet usually traveling in a local train or bus talking so loudly that Even though we do not listen to we get to hear them. And in between another fellow throws his opinion uninvited.
That is right. So far possible one should keep him/herself away from such discussions.
@allknowing (153544)
• India
6 May 11
Here I will have to barge in!
. Ofcourse it is wrong as they say little knowledge is dangerous unless one is specifically asked for advice or opinion.
. Ofcourse it is wrong as they say little knowledge is dangerous unless one is specifically asked for advice or opinion. 
@hardworkinggurl (37062)
• United States
6 May 11
Perhaps the discussion was not on a low tone so the housemate could not help but hear. No matter how loud it was though the housemate should not have commented. Unless there was some danger going on, the housemate should have minded his/her business.
There is nothing worse then a third party involving themselves in a dispute when their opinion was not asked.
I would never do this, unless of course it was getting out of hand and simply would have tried to make peace but not involve myself in someone else discussion. It would not be my business or place to do so.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
6 May 11
hello sashakiddo,
Eavesdropping is not a good manner at all barging into life of others without being ask is not a good manner as well maybe your bf's friend want to defend his friend to you but what he did is totally wrong he can tell his opinion after you had argument in a polite way.
I never tell my opinion if i am not being ask and it's not may attitude to barge into someone's life if they are not messing up with me.
have a nice day!
@sswallace21 (1824)
• United States
6 May 11
I've barged in on an argument or 2 in my time. Probably, not one of better decisions. When you really don't know what's going on, it's really hard to make a case for the person you are trying to stand up for. I don't many friends but the ones I do have I'm very loyal to. Even if it does get me into trouble sometime. I would do anything illegal of course. But I will defend them.
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
6 May 11
Nope I never do that. And yeah I know how you felt. I really hate it when people butt in their big nose in other people's situations!! I mean they don't even know half the story, what are they going on about?? I seriously have fought with people butting in me and my someone else's problems. I would never do that and wouldn't welcome someone who did that.
@happycaprice (403)
• Philippines
6 May 11
You're right, the housemate shouldn't have barged in between your argument.
But I once barged between an argument when my brother and mother fought. They had different perceptions, and of course, my Mom would have the traditional way of thinking. Knowing her, she was being very biased. So I defended my brother. I got a good scolding (of course), but at least I let my mom know i thought she was biased. :P
